Hi. I have a giant squid as a pet. He seems to think that he knows the secret to helium. This is all well and good, but I just can't keep him out of my dryer sheets! What can I do??
Your giant squid is simply suffering from Bieber Fever. Justin Bieber smells like laundry detergent because he bathes in it, and then he stuffs no less than 216 dryer sheets in his clothes and body orifices right before a concert. This is why the girls are nuts about him. He smells soooo good! You need to somehow convince your pet giant squid that he's never going to smell like Justin Bieber. The dryer sheets are just going to end up smelling like squid. That's what happens when you're not a celebrity.
