Ask a question and get a response from an idiot. (That's me!)
Grumbles and Soy Sauce are livin' the life. Free rent, 9 varieties of can food, 4 scratching posts, they each have their own litter box, drinking fountain, freeze dried raw meat snacks, different animals and feathers on strings keep flying at their heads (they like that), and Sgt. Grumbles just acquired his own tank!
THANK YOU for letting me know my site is down. YOU are rad.
You can definitely hire me to draw something. I'm almost always open for commissions.
Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Aw thanks Katykat!
Life is a lot more fun, interesting, and inspiring when you have a Vanawesome in it. I highly recommend getting a Vanawesome right away. BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE MINE. This one's used anyway.
And he leaves empty diet Mountain Dew cans god-damn everywhere.
Lately, my favorite thing to draw has been unicorns. I just drew one barfing and that was a hell of a lot of fun.
Animate? I like to animate mouths. As it turns out, you can be quite crazy with mouth motion and the mind compensates pretty well.
What? What do you mean? What happened to the love fern? As far as I know, it's fine. Are you saying Joe and my love is in danger?!
Come to think of it, that fern is looking like a totally different species of plant these days.
I think SOMEONE has some 'splaning to do...
You can only get Scottish Folds from breeders. Each one of our fluff babies came from separate breeders. (Bonky, Soy Sauce, and Sergeant Grumbles are not related at all.)
Their names are shot straight out of our brains through our exit wounds aka "mouths."
Soy Sauce was originally named "Egg Bird't" but it just didn't fit. Then for about an hour we were considering "Chicken" until Soy Sauce hit and the rest is HEEZ-TORY!
Ah! My luscious locks are indeed a gift from above! The obsessive brushing and lard baths are worth all the troubles in order to whip this head of majesty at everyone all slow-motiony.
Naw, that's all crap. The truth is that I never blow dry it, I rarely flat-iron it, and have curled it only a handful of times.
I use Pantene. It's cheap. It smells good. The end.
What do you mean? Untimely passing? The Love Fern is just fine. I'm looking at it right now. What are you talking about?
I think I need to go talk to Joe a minute.
We've had Soy Sauce genetically tested. She's 25% owl, 35% monkey, 15% kitten head, and 25% so freakin' STUPID.
Yes. Your monitor, computer, modem, and home electrical wiring are all on.
I know this because you sent me this question via this website.
Either that or you're some sort of techno-wizard.
(Glowstick, glowstick, glowstick...uns, uns, uns, uns.)
I can't say for sure.
TESSA DOG HISTORY:
Prince, the spastic Dalmatian who ate his own barf.
Daisy, the vicious nearly feral Cocker Spaniel. She liked to bite faces.
Toby, the coolest lil' Beagle who followed me to school and was as smart as a ga-dang whip.
Jack, the husband's roomate's giant sweet Yellow Lab who causes shin bruises with his beef tail.
Wolfie, the mother in law's Shi-Chi mix. Hes so mini, so funny, so LOUD.
The expected and true answer is that it depends on the project.
My 'email unicorn' took about 2 hours or so.
A recent thank-you image I made for my brother took over 8, spanned over a week or so.
Someday, I'd like to put a ton of time on a single project and make it something to be proud of. This hasn't happened yet because I'll typically come back to something in progress, decide that it's a stinky embarrassment, and abandon it.
SOON, OH MY GOSH, I SWEAR IT FOR REAL THIS TIME!
We've got so much crap to talk about. Our weekends have been taken up with baby niece viewing, vfx side projects, and carbohydrates.
Thanks for your interest & inquiry, anonymous person who is obviously very good looking and very popular. This girl owes you a high five.
The west coast is just great.
I've been to the ol' PA before. Pittsburgh, to be specific. They give you your own bridge when you move there yes? I think that's how it goes, so if you're in that city, you better make some calls if you haven't gotten one yet.
It started out innocently enough, but who could have expected that rhino coating my basement, filling it with swamp water and putting a team of pumas and a team of camels in there for a monumental, sickening, survival of the fittest pageant would have ended up so badly?
First of all, swamp is not the ideal setting for pumas or camels, they looked miserable instead of pumped up with feelings lazer focused murder-hate. When they finally started to get going, I realized that increasing the amount of dromedary to even out the playing field (Pumas are freakin' vicious, kid.) was NOT a good idea. Pumas can't swim! Those camels were just stomping wet fur ass. Those were the soggiest meows. It was a shut-out.
Second of all - trying to pull a tom sawyer and telling my neighbors, via double fisted megaphones, that cleaning up marsh scented animal corpses is the most fun, like ever FOREVER... did not work. Either they weren't that stupid, or trying to pull something like that on Christmas morn was kinda in bad scheduling taste.
Whatever. I'm leaving it how it is. Ain't not no one gonna tell me how to live.
You're expecting me to say that unicorn farts smell like sprinkle spangle choco-dunked cotton candy, aren't you?
You're expecting me to say that they smell like Bob Barker's cheeky kisses after you've won the sports car, right?
You want me to say that unicorn farts are like the olfactory version of sexy double rainbows?
NO YOU SHUT UP.
I love you.
I predict that I will die by some sort of heart attack at an 'early' age.
I have irregular heart beats that take my breath away for just a moment. Every few months I get a pain in my chest.
My blood pumpin' organ is probably as lazy as I am.