Ask me a goddamn question!
Recent Responses
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Mystery illness remains mysterious, although the other day it did lead to the wonderfully awkward experience of having a girl from my class in high school be the med student sitting in on my appointment! I've officially seen doctor number 9 and I'm not any closer to having any idea what the fuck's wrong with me. And no. I really haven't been. Between being sick and trying to stay busy so I don't have to think about being sick, I really haven't had time or energy for it.
I think I've reached the point where I need to stop telling myself I'll take calls once I'm feeling better because a) I have no time frame for when I'll be feeling better and b) I really don't think I'll take calls once I am. Phone sex was fun, gave me infinite amounts of material, and was a good way to get myself through a rough patch, but I feel like I've done as much as I can with it. Calls stopped being fun and started being repetitive (even with theme nights!), and it just started to seem like a lot of work for very, very little money. I don't regret my decision to go into phone sex at all, I still think it's a great job option for people with weird schedules, and I'm unbelievably grateful for everyone's support through all this nonsense. That being said, I'm officially retiring from phone sex. I'm still more than happy to give people going into that industry advice, but I won't be taking anymore calls.
You've all been wonderful (except for the dude who sent unsolicited erotica he wrote about me. That was slightly less wonderful than average), and if you'd like to keep in touch, here are various ways to cyberstalk/contact me:
Twitter: @christiolson
Email: christi.olson@gmail.com
Tumblr: christiolson.tumblr.com -
No, because in your attempt to be provocative, you've managed to be incredibly boring. As a result, my 'punani' is off limits to you. Try harder.
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Marshmallows, gummy candies and caesar salad are the big ones people generally miss. Ditto with soups at restaurants (the broth is almost never vegetarian). And I can't recommend vegweb.com enough when it comes to recipes!!
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Sure, but it will cost you a lot more than $1.99 a minute.
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The better idea would be to put the honey on after the shaving because it's a natural antiseptic and could be used to treat the cuts that would inevitably result from letting someone dumb enough to ask this question approach me with a razor.
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Curiosity, lack of money, and boredom.
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I do!! But for those who remember that I've been suffering from mystery illness, the past couple weeks I've been experiencing a new symptom I like to call "Crazy Throat". It started after I had a cold, but I'll randomly lose my voice for hours at a time. As you can imagine, that doesn't lend itself to telefucking.
We've FINALLY found pills that are allowing me to talk like a normal person, so I should be able to take a couple calls next week. -
I've been better, but I've also been worse.
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Comedy thing is going surprisingly well! ILG is dating the girl he met using the OKCupid profile I made him, which is awesome. I update ILG's fan page more often than I update about him on Twitter, so feel free to check that out http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ignore-Line-Guy/164853430211711
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I think most men are aware that it isn't real, but most don't know the extent of the fakery. There are definitely a few that genuinely think you're an 18 year old stripper who thinks their stories about touching a boob once are super hot, though.
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1. That's neither a question nor a sentence. That's something a drunk person types into google. 2. I've covered this at length in the answer section on formspring already. http://christiolson.tumblr.com/post/2966401131/so-you-want-to-be-a-phone-sex-operator Just go read that.
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Which is probably why I'm a phone sex operator and not a stripper. Also, that wasn't a question.
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This question seems like a great way to get taken out of some wills.
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That is more clear! Funny is the main one, which sounds like a cop-out but it's true. I can deal with pretty much anything as long as the person is funny. Tall is also a giant selling point. Literate helps. I once dated a guy because he challenged me to a game of Trivial Pursuit and held his own, which I found incredibly attractive for some reason.
Socially conservative is my big dealbreaker. If you think gays shouldn't get married, if you think abortion shouldn't be legal, if you're anti-sex work (obviously) or you think religion should have any place in politics, you are banned from accessing my vagina. -
Is there a man in particular that this question is in reference to? Because I'm pretty sure that I can't apply random characteristics I like about different people to an entire gender. I was going to say that I like the whole penis thing since that's generally the only thing all men have in common but then I realized that wasn't a great statement because that's taking on a pretty cisnormative stance that really isn't fair to transmen.
So to answer your question, I have no idea. -
There are a lot of kinks that I find interesting from an intellectual standpoint (example: Financial Domination!), but as for what I'm into personally, that's a conversation for me and whoever I'm currently fucking.
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It would probably be a book of poetry, written by my friend James, and I probably wouldn't read it.
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I have no idea how to answer this.
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Teleeroticist’s Bio
Los Angeles, CA
I make people cum on the phone for money!
Email me here about things that are non-formspring related! Christi.Olson@gmail.com
