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All responses Most smiled responses
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Affirmative star commander. I shall be there =)
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I actually got involved in speaking when I was 16. Since I was super young (and was speaking to students my age and even older), I thought that I had to be crazy professional on stage. I would wear suit jackets, dress shoes, and even speak like I was 40. It was lame, and someone should have slapped me.
At about 17 or 18, I snapped out of my weird phase and began to act like myself on stage. Had I always wanted to speak to teens? Yes. Did I know what the heck I was doing? Negative.
My reason for talking to teens is simple. When I was younger, I heard speakers at my school and at conferences who were AWESOME. They helped me from the stage in a HUGE way. My goal is to do the same for you (plus, I want to do everything possible to help you on a personal level).
Like always, if you have questions, I’m here to help =] -
This is a tough one.
In middle school, I was obsessed with the Lord of the Rings books. Yeah, I'm a nerd.
Favorite current book? I'm starting Three Cups of Tea and a few others. Heard that its an AMAZING read! -
This is MASSIVE news to hear. Here are a few pieces of advice as you begin this journey.
1) Don't beat yourself up over the fact that it happened. You may not be able to change the circumstances that led to you getting pregnant, but you can decide how to best handle to current situation. Try as much as possible to have a positive attitude.
2) Your family and close friends are your BIGGEST supporters in this. Asking friends and acquaintances is a fantastic way to get input, but talking to those who have a direct interest is going to help with the various decisions you will face.
3) There are people/organizations that DO care about you and your pregnancy. If you have a rough home situation or find that your boyfriend is not supporting you through this time, YOU CAN find groups that will be there to help.
You NEED to talk to your family about this as soon as possible! I can't stress that enough.
Unfortunately, this site is ANONYMOUS, meaning I have no idea who asks these questions. If you need more personal help finding organizations in your area, please send me an email (scott@scottbackovich.com). I will do my best to find positive groups. -
This question always comes up because people are afraid of “messing up” the friendship they have. I understand that…I get it…But to be honest, I think it’s lame.
Ask yourself this question: would you rather date someone you ONLY have interest in dating, or would you want to be in a relationship with someone who you know inside and out?
A lot of couples base their relationship on a few dates and encounters only to later find out characteristics and personality traits that they don’t like. This isn’t an issue for you. You obviously know this girl far better than most individuals, you have been friends for a while, and you enjoy each other’s company. These are all great things. Kudos to you!!
You need to be careful though.
Before you take the step to tell her how you feel or try to date, make sure and know for a FACT that you have feelings for her (not that you just think you might). Telling someone that your emotions have changed can often alter the dynamic of a friendship. Before you make the leap, be sure to know where your feelings are at.
Final piece of advice: DON’T go into this with the expectation that she will reject you. Confidence is a major bonus for any relationship. If you think you’re going to be let down, chances are you will get your wish.
I have total faith in you. Do work, and let me know how I can help in the process =] -
If you try and dominate ANY conversation (regardless of the amount of people present), you will eventually be ignored. Sad? For some, maybe. True? I pinky promise.
On the other hand, if you make sure to listen while still giving valuable input, you can collaborate with any group of people to accomplish a much greater goal.
As far as watching your words are concerned, here is a rule I swear by…Ready. Set. GO:
If you’re not comfortable posting what you say on the front page of the New York Times, then you might want to check yourself.
Remember the Golden Rule back in Kindergarten—treat others as you would like to be treated?
You guessed it—your teacher wasn’t messing around.
Your ability to listen to others around you is one of your biggest tools in life. The most you listen, the more you learn. The more you learn, the better you are able to communicate your thoughts and feelings to others. -
Simple answer: a lot. You guys have GREAT questions. On the flip side though, you also have A LOT of them =p
Whenever I throw down advice to help answer your questions, I make sure and take enough time so that you get the best possible info from me.
Luckily, I have been on a Formspring craze the past 24 hours and hope to pump out the remainder of my inbox throughout this week.
I heart energy drinks.
Finally, don't trip if I can't answer you question within minutes. Traveling to events around the country to speak at schools and conferences can make time a little sparse. Above all though, I PROMISE that I will answer your questions and be here to help in any way possible. =]
Oh, and just so you're aware, I have a HUGE surprise that is going to drop for my Formspring/Facebook/website posse in the next week or so.
You're not going to want to miss it. Word. -
Easy—Worldwide Poverty.
Look at where we live. Regardless of how much we might complain about certain aspects of our lives from time to time, there are always others who are worse off.
Have less money than you want? Some families have none. Wish you could always eat like a King or Queen? Millions wish they had any amount of food to stay alive.
We as global citizens have to be relentless in our attempts to help those who are less fortunate. Whether it’s volunteering at a local shelter or donating to worldwide non-profits, we can always find means to help others.
Great question to mix things up! What would you change?? -
This is a tough one. When I was growing up, this was my comedic weapon of choice:
Me: “Want to hear a dirty joke?”
Person: “What?”
Me: “A horse fell in the mud.”
Yeah…I was a comedic genius. -
Here’s the deal with fellas and flowers…We don’t dislike getting them, but the fact that you’re giving us pretty plants may make some of our heads hurt with confusion.
Before I give you my advice though, notice that I said some—no two guys are the same. Generalizing us is just like labeling someone as an “average teenage girl.” Try not to do it. The girl you are stereotyping will probably shank you.
Ok. Back to the question.
Even though we might not understand flowers, we do get what your motive is behind it.
Regardless if you give us flowers, candy, or nothing at all, the simple truth is that we LOVE knowing that you care. If giving a bouquet of roses is the way you choose to do that, then rock on with your inner florist. On the other hand, if showing that you care means just taking your guy to see his favorite movie or going to participate in his favorite hobby, then that’s awesome too.
Love is in the air on this site. I’ve gotten more relationship questions then a bad episode of Dr. Phil =p
Keep sending them out, people. I’m here to help! -
Chivalry isn’t dead. It isn’t hibernating,. It’s not a ‘lost art.’ Here’s my philosophical answer to this question…(insert drum roll here)…
Guys… Are… Lazy. (TA-DAAAA!!)
Girls typically love when we do the little things (opening doors, paying for dinner, giving up our jackets when it’s cold, etc.). But guys, we need to get our act together (notice I said we…we’re all guilty of it at times).
As far as a lot of ladies are concerned, our options are pretty clear: either we open the door for someone from time to time, or expect on occasion for that door to be slammed in our face (ouch).
At the same time, I’m all about girls and guys sharing the duties of opening doors and possibly taking each other out on dates. Believe it or not girls, taking that special guy out for a night will make him feel just as cool as you do when he does the same for you (and will earn you major brownie points).
Simply put, it’s not a crime to take a few extra moments to make that special person feel, in fact, special.
Get to it, people =] -
asked by 932ky
First off, your friend is in the wrong. You know it, I know it, Formspring knows it. You are doing the right thing by actively talking to her about it and offering your help. The more you talk to her, the more she knows that you care. You’re being a fantastic friend in that regard (pat yourself on the back….now). With that being said, she just might not be ready for the type of conversation you’re offering up just yet. Is it frustrating? Yes. Should you trash the friendship? No way.
*I want you to remember this: Everyone definitely WILL NOT “do it eventually”, but everyone who does WILL seek help for it eventually.*
That’s where you come in.
Since you are thinking of throwing in the towel, I’m willing to bet that a lot of others around you have done the same (and already given up). Your true test as a friend will be when she needs someone the most. My advice is simple: continue to help her to see what she is too busy ignoring, and make sure to be the friend that refuses to give up on her.
You might not always support what your friends are doing, but you can always support their desire to get help.
Have other questions? Feel free to send them my way. I’m here to help! -
It doesn’t matter what I think about these issues—What’s important is how you find healthy and productive ways to get your own voice heard.
When you’re surrounded by people who think in the exact opposite way that you do, it’s super easy to keep quiet and believe your voice is useless.
Turn the tables on them.
TIP OF THE DAY: In a crowded room, the loudest voice is the one which disagrees the most.
Don’t be afraid to make your thoughts known, just make sure and ALWAYS be understanding of others while doing so. -
Affirmative! I was a JCREW during NCYLS 2006. While my student year was amazing, being a JCREW was by far one of the most OUSTANDING experiences of my time in high school.
Thinking of applying? Don’t hesitate. Get your application in, start working on your community service hours, and look forward to a phenomenal year of leadership.
I’m always around if you need ANY help with the process.
You have questions, I'll hopefully have some answers. =p -
I dig the sound of the ocean when nobody is around. Going to the beach is one thing, but experiencing it with little or no background noise is something everyone should witness.
Surfs up, dude. -
There are next to a MILLION ways to get involved in your community and help a totally awesome organization. Before you actually get started though, ask yourself a couple of questions…
-What in your community/life inspires you?
o Look around you and begin to take notice of the things that truly make you happy. If something constantly causes you to become stoked on life, chances are it has the same effect on others around you. With that in mind, what organizations near your hometown strive to inspire people in the same way?
-What is something in your world that makes you furious to the point of action?
o On the other side of things, we all notice aspects of our communities that we know need to be changed. As a leader and volunteer, your task becomes finding organizations devoted to altering things for the better. Want something changed? Do something and make an impact.
-What is one unique talent you have that you’re known for?
o Your random skills are some of your biggest gifts as a leader. Try to find an organization that let’s your mad talent shine. Are you an awesome athlete? Volunteer with students trying to learn a sport. Are you a crazy talented musician? Offer to help schools in your area who have had their music education budget cut. If you have a gift, you can and should share it with others.
While 100 hours seems like a lot on paper, it’s virtually nothing if you’re doing something you totally dig. Finding an organization is like finding an app for your iPhone. Are you passionate about helping the less fortunate? There’s a volunteer organization for that. Want to help those in third world countries? There are plenty of organizations for that. Finally, have a passion that no organization covers? Don’t be afraid to start your own. At the end of the day, the best part about being a young leader is being able to leave crazy unique footprints on your world.
Have additional questions about volunteering? Feel free to ask a follow up! I would love to help with the specifics of whatever project you’re thinking about taking on. -
Pshhhh.
I love hashbrowns. And my dog Little Bear.
That's right...I own a small ferocious animal. -
Like any career, speaking allows me to provide for myself and make sure I’m taken care of. At the end of the day though, do I speak for the money? Negative. My speaking let’s me do something that I think everyone should strive for in a career—I’m able to wake up every single day and NEVER have to call what I do “work” or a “job”. If you can find a way to make money and have fun while doing so, get amped up and get to it.
As far as balancing speaking and school is concerned, it’s definitely a challenge. One hour I can be taking an exam in a lecture hall, the next I might be on a plane headed anywhere around the country. Is it tough? Sure. Is it worth it? Definitely.
Just because you’re in school DOES NOT mean you can’t rock the world in your off time. Your age isn’t a barrier; it’s your biggest weapon. -
First things first— MAJOR props to you for actually wanting to get to know her first. No girl will respect you if you simply want to ask her out ‘just because’ (let alone someone who is super shy).
Before I dish out some advice, let’s go over a couple precautions:
1) Forced talk=bad talk. Think of an awkward conversation you have had with a family member at a holiday or reunion. After you cover the basics, it can be really hard to carry on a conversation without desperately searching for common ground. Case and point: don’t push the envelope. If you do, it will be weirder than grandma’s ceremonial cheek pinch and wet kiss.
2) Don’t be afraid of the ‘friend zone’. Guys talk about “just being friends” like it’s a red ring of death on XBOX. Don’t get sucked into the trap. You may get to know this girl and find that you’re far better suited to just be buddies. THAT’S OK! Embrace new friendships, don’t exterminate them.
3) Nothing positive comes from an awkward Facebook ‘add’. This is pretty self-explanatory. Break the ice in person. Don’t write on her wall. That’s just creepy.
4) If you’ve seen it on TV, it’s probably as reliable as a tip from Jersey Shore. You’ve seen next to a million ways on tv and from your friends on “how to get a girl.” Don’t try them. If you do, she will know that you’re being fake, find a sharp object, and shank you. As corny and lame as it sounds, being yourself around someone is the best way to go. The more you act genuine and honest, the more true similarities you will find.
Now for some advice…Find a way to chat with this girl in a no-pressure situation. Though she may seem shy to those that don’t know her, chances are she talks up a storm when she’s with her friends (I would be willing to bet that the same goes for you). Before talking to her, ask yourself the simple question, “Would I feel comfortable being approached by someone I don’t know right now?” If your answer is yes then she probably feels the same way. Try to get to know the real her, NOT just the person you want to date.
If you’re genuine, she will respect you. If you’re not, she will continue to be shy. I have total faith in you =] -
Rock on with yo' bad self, Batman. I agree that awesomeness without powers is pretty amazing.
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Scott Backovich’s Bio
I'm teen motivational speaker Scott Backovich. I speak. I help teens. I'm here to answer your questions. Readyyyy GO!
