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All responses Most smiled responses
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The term "making love" and getting "fucked, can sometimes go hand in hand. Making love is so goddamn generic and Danielle Steele. It's not a reality to expect hours of passionate canoodling on a bed of rose petals while Celine Dion coos softly in the background. That shit isn't actuality. It's some dream concocted to convince the women that are getting hosed sexually and "getting fucked" during the commercials of Monday Night Football that there is hope to bring romance back to their sagging love lives.
So, the next time you want to get pillaged and have your petticoats ripped and thrown over your head, try running that past your husband who is exhausted after working two jobs and can barely stay awake long enough to take his pants off before he comes to bed. let alone, primp and preen or even wash his freakin' balls before laying down and sweating up your 800 count sheets. -
Sleeping.
Watching shows I Tivo'ed during the week because the kids hijacked my TV.
And getting sucked into the abyss that is the internet.
See also: Bitch, moan and complain. -
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I am 35 on the outside and 16 and 3/4 on the inside.
My kids are 16, 15, 13, 7 and 3.
It's all smoke and mirrors though. Strip me of my make up and my clothes and take away my Myspace camera angles and I look just like the crypt keeper. -
I don't only 'DO' women. Although to be honest, I haven't called it 'DOING' since I was 13 and couldn't say penis without laughing food through my nose.
And to answer your second question...YES. I am absolutely 100% turned off by men. And if you knew even a handful of the men I let see me naked, you would be lesbian too. -
Completely naked? Or just like a nipple slip? Even when someone gets me naked, I still manage to keep something on. A sock, my bra, maybe my panties, although that causes chafing, sometimes. SO...I don't have an answer.
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Sleep with you? Or "SLEEP" with you?
Because if you mean actual sleep...I am totally in, because I majored in sleep in college. And I will show you sleep like you have never seen it before.
But if you mean "sleep", like in the biblical sense, then EWWWW.
Unless, you're a woman, then...call me. -
Sometimes I do. Lately, I haven't felt confident. Pretty. Feminine. I feel awkward. The extra weight is making me self conscious. And it is starting to effect how I interact with people.
I used to take sexy pics of myself all the time. And now...I just don't feel like I have it in me. -
Eric gets me a little wet in my Vickie's, but to be honest I am totally in love with Jessica so hard right now..and am a little sad how they ended the last season, implying she could be a bit murderous and uncontrollable.
Oh, and I would suck a fart out of Sookie's ass. -
I always cook. Even when the kids want something "boxed" or pre packaged, I am the sucker who tosses those bad boys in the nuker or toaster.
Tonight I am making something my mother affectionately named "poor man" sauce over 35 years ago. It's a tomato sauce with chopped meat,( although I am proud to say I use ground turkey now, because its so much healthier then beef), garlic and red onion. I am making arugula salad with avocado and balsamic vinaigrette.
If you're coming to eat, bring bread. -
It depends on the drink. If its wine, by the 2nd glass I am all flush in the face and groping you under the table whispering in your ear that the bathroom stall in the ladies room is just big enough for a threesome.
If its vodka, it takes two to three drinks, unless we are in a bar in Manhattan, with their watered down cocktails, and their cheap vodka. Then maybe 4.
And if its beer, the only "interesting" thing that will happen is me making you hold my purse over and over while I repeatedly stumble to the potty because my bladder is the size of a jelly bean. -
Pussy does NOT always smell the same consistently day after day.
There are days when I am super confident and am pretty sure my vag would pass the white glove test. And anyone who had the honor of having it in their presence would give it an A+.
Then there are the in between days. AKA "MEH" days. Where even though I am showered and other wise super squeaky clean down there, my trench at times can act bi polar, and be good enough to eat but may cause a tinny after taste.
Finally, there is the NO NO days. Not just the days when I am surfing the crimson wave, but the 2 days prior, and the 2 days AFTER.
That's when nothing I do will make my beat box of love anything more than a walking tuna cooler. -
I have crammed quite a few undesirables up in there. So I am sure, if she could talk to me, the crap she would throw at me, would cut me off at the knees.
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As a child, I was painfully shy and almost emotionally retarded.
So, uhm...not much different than I am today. -
I don't think my nose is too big. I think my chin is too small. I don't like my profile and think that certain angles can make my nose and chin look way more proportioned then they actually are.
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I went to high school in staten island. SO...alas, our paths never crossed before this formspring.
Take her? Like in an arm wrestling match? For sure. -
You think this honker is a result of a nose jobby?
OMG. All I wanted for my 17th birthday was a new face. My snot box caused me nothing but grief all through school and all I wanted was a nose like a pixie. Until....
I saw this tv show where a woman bled to death from a ruptured aorta in her nose due to a botched rhinoplasty and after that I have decided to shut the fuck up and live with my schnozz as is. -
You want to take a picture with me? Holy crap, you have no idea what you are in for. A lot of preparation goes into getting just one passable shot of my face package.
If I take 45 shots, I am lucky if I get 3 pics that I can stand to look at with out yacking.
So, if you are feeling brave, holla atcha girl. -
I hate when people force shit. Funny shouldn't be forced. That's one reason why I,m not even a little bit sad to see Favrd go. It became this contest, this weird game. And even though I have met some amazing people because of a combined sum of both Twitter and Favrd, I just think effortless, funny random thoughts are much more enjoyable. I look forward to people simply being themselves.
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Holy shit it's up there. Next to the Whitney Houston/Jermaine Jackson duet of "if you say my eyes are beautiful".
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