Awesomeness. Experiencing it, spreading it around.

Do you know anything about marijuana? I don't smoke it, and I know it doesn't cause mental or physical illness. Enjoy your idiocy.

He's a god among men, obvs.

Tell an adult immediately -- a trusted adult.

Oh, that's adorable. Work on your English, Uggo.

Find other artists! Particularly up-and-coming ones who, like you, are trying to break into the field.

I call bullshit. Why would you want to be with a guy who drinks until he's blacked out anyway? You clearly can't trust him.

I'm a little late on this. So she's keeping her sexuality a secret and you don't even know if the chick is into you? Um, I at least wouldn't go for it in front of people.

Do you want to kiss him on the mouth? Kiss him on the mouth!

Unfortunately, you don't have a choice. It sucks, I know, when you like somebody and he or she doesn't like you back, or doesn't want to be with you. I've been there! But if you really do like the person and if you're a good person, you'll respect his/her wishes and back off. Someone else will realize how amazing you are and truly value you as you deserve to be valued.

An asshole is an asshole is an asshole, regardless of how nice he was before hand and regardless of the reason behind his assholery. Get rid of him or he'll continue to walk all over you.

I want to be more like Kevin Avery.

Why be afraid? You can totally hang out and talk and be honest with him in person about being nervous. Find a fun activity you can both enjoy and go for it!

I would watch that too! I would lurve that.

I'm a monkey and you are an alien.

Well, I do one called "Sex and Other Human Activities," which you can check out on iTunes or here: http://www.cavecomedyradio.com. Then I'm on another one called "Dear Auntie Sara and Uncle Marcus," which you can find at http://www.breakthruradio.com. In February, I'm honored to be a guest on some of my favorite podcasts -- "Waking from the American Dream" with Kelly Carlin; "This American Wife;" and "WTF with Marc Maron." Thank you for asking!

Absolutely.

It is possible to become infatuated with someone in this manner, yes. But to truly fall in love with someone, you need to physically be in the presence of him/her.

How big is its dick?

Yup! Still do, in fact. My book, "Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom," is available for pre-order here: http://www.amazon.com/Agorafabulous-Dispatches-Bedroom-Sara-Benincasa/dp/0062024418/ref=sr_1_1_det?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309598498&sr=1-1 It'll be out in U.S. stores on Valentine's Day, February 14th. Tells the whole story.