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All responses Most smiled responses
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Thank you so much! This absolutely made my day. I don't know who you are, but I want you to know that you are a blessing, and you just made the world a little brighter & happier. :)
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Very interesting question. I've actually only had 3 friends talk to me on that topic, so I don't have too much experience on that front. And I've never dated before, so I admit I sometimes don't know what to say to my dating friends during "boy talk." I just listen without giving advice. I've always seen that topic as really personal, so it means a lot to me when someone shares that with me -- it's a sign of trust, and I don't like to break that trust by judging.
Yes, I do feel sympathy for their break-ups because I know (from non-romantic relationships) how it hurts to lose someone you care for but who doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
That said, I do wish that people (NOT talking about my friends here -- only 1/5 of my close friends even date, and I don't think they make bad choices), but I do wish that people in general -- girls and guys -- were less apt to rush into things and give too much to a relationship that they know will not go anywhere. When I begin dating, I'm going to do it in anticipation of a possible marriage... because if I know a relationship will not end in marriage, then it will, by default, end in break-up (cohabitation's not an option for me). There's no point going into a relationship that I know will end sooner or later -- especially when I could have a great, lasting platonic friendship with the boy instead.
So.. yeah, sometimes I wish I could tell them, "Don't rush." Or, "if he's not interested, it's not worth it." Or, when I see them squabble with their bf's over unimportant things, I sometimes want to say, "Just let it go. The deeper your relationship goes, the more it's going to demand of you, and you'll need to make sacrifices sometimes." But, usually, the conversations don't go deep enough for me to feel that it's my place to say those things. And my best friends haven't really made many bad dating choices in the past, so there hasn't been too much need! :) -
Mary Poppins, definitely. And various Audrey Hepburn movies which I didn't understand but watched because I thought she was pretty, haha. :)
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Extremely. Especially friends with whom I can be open and honest about my struggles, and who are open and honest about theirs.
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Sadly, my first memory was touching a hot metal-soldering tool. Ow ow ow. But it sure taught me to listen when my parents told me not to touch something.
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It's a tie between curves and clone.
I'm not great at composing photos so I always have to clone out distractions that make their way into my frame. I almost always take pictures with the knowledge that I'll have to clone out certain things later.
When I play around with curves, it always amazes me how vastly different I can make a photo look by adjusting its tones through Curves. Often I come up with several versions that I upload to Flickr, and choose from those which one looks best Flickr-sharpened and on a white background. -
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I've always said that if I were to go to some famous place like Paris, I'd probably spend more time photographing dandelions and birds than the Eiffel Tower. Although my style has definitely changed lately and I've grown out of the flower macros to some extent, I'm still not into photojournalism all that much. To me, photography is more about having an intimate atmosphere, lots of time, and lots of interaction with the subject... that's hard to do when shooting a big historical event. So while I'd love to *witness* various famous events, I'd probably leave the photographing of them to Reuters. Instead, I'd use the opportunity to go back in time to do something a bit more personal... perhaps to take childhood portraits of somebody I know who has very few photos of herself as a kid and feels like she's lacking a part of her history as a result. It would make her day.
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Well, there's no way I could live without the Bible... It assures me that I am loved. It encourages me to live a better life. It prompts me to look beyond my immediate situation and see the bigger picture. Its words have wisdom to guide, joy to uplift, sorrow to relate to, and hope... which I need to survive. It's a 783,137-word love letter from God. And every time I read it, I discover something new. Couldn't give that up for any other book.
But if we consider that the Bible is a given, then I'd probably choose Anne of Green Gables. Weird choice, I know, but 'Anne' was the first fiction book that I really fell in love with, and though I've reread it numerous times, it has not gotten old... and probably never will. More than any other book I've read, it has inspired me to write. Montgomery's writing isn't everybody's style but we all need to be reminded sometimes that the world is beautiful and her prose (especially her descriptions of nature) just does that, as flowery as it seems. To me, that book is an escape from the bust, modern world into a world that's brimming with beauty and emotion. -
Worst: Having someone close to me attempt suicide several times. The feeling of helplessness and guilt over not doing more for them was one of the worst emotions a person can feel. That person is doing better now, and I am so grateful.
Best: Finding God. I really struggled with hopelessness during childhood... I literally stayed up at night trying to wrap my mind around what the point of living was if I would eventually have to die. I don't know if I was an unusual kid in that respect (I mean, I haven't really heard of too many seven-year-olds having sleepless nights pondering the meaning of life) but I think we all have that gnawing desire for something more than this world offers. Finding purpose in God filled me with more hope and joy and love than I ever knew I could feel. Many people have this image of religion as a list of constricting rules, but my experience with Jesus was the complete opposite: I found it so freeing to let go of old habits, stop living for myself, stop worrying about temporary problems, and live life as a 'new creation,' completely liberated from my past (a past which, bluntly put, sucked). God's love is so good. -
Yes I am (as a means of procrastination from schoolwork). Many people consider figure skating lame, but, honestly, it's the only sport I find bearable to watch for extended periods of time. In the other sports, the athletes do the same thing over and over -- all ski the same slopes, all snowboard the same course... in figure skating, there's diversity, creativity, and artistry. And music, which is always an asset. I especially love pairs skating. :)
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Hmm, I'd have to check my iPod for a definitive answer (I'm really bad at remembering songs I like), but the one that I can think of off the top of my head is "Praise You in this Storm," by Casting Crowns. It's accompanied me through some really rough spots in my life. I don't know if you're religious or not (it is a Christian song), but you should definitely check it out -- it's just so hope-filled, honest, and powerful.
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:) That made me smile, and I'm having a terrible day, so thank you; I appreciate it.
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Good question. To be honest, I've been struggling in my relationship with God lately. I haven't been reading my Bible as much as I should, and I haven't been applying it to my life much, either. So in terms of Bible verses that are speaking to me, it's been back-to-the-basics: I'm being convicted by the 10 commandments and by simple truths like "God is enough." "God will provide." "God is more important." As I said though, I really can't say I've been following through on these lessons very well. :/
Lately, I've also been hearing a lot of sermons/studies on the Lord's Prayer, so I've been thinking about that as well... reminding myself to pray more like Jesus taught us to pray, and trying to incorporate more praise into my prayers, instead of just asking for stuff. -
Thank you. :)
And no worries, I don't mind anonymity. -
I'm so glad that God is working in your life and making his love clear to you. :) You know, I really think he led you to send me that formspring message, because I've really been struggling with self-esteem this week, and it forced me to face the issue and to think and pray about it instead of ignoring/surrendering to it like I normally would. So thank YOU. :) And I'll be praying for you.
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First, I'd tell them that I know, to some extent, what they are going through. I struggle with insecurity in a major, major way. On some days, it seems like there's this constant reel running through my mind of mistakes I made, stupid things I said, smart things I didn't say, people I smiled at not realizing that I had food stuck between my teeth, and so on. You'd be amazed at how insignificant some of those things are. For example, a few days ago, I was reading a text aloud with a group of people, and everyone was supposed to read 3 sentences. I accidentally read 4. No one said anything and probably no one even noticed, but ever since then, I've been thinking to myself: 'Did I really do that? The lines were numbered; am I so stupid that I can't even count properly? Should I just distance myself from activities that I obviously am not competent enough to participate in?'
I feel kind of silly for writing this, since I know it's totally illogical -- and extremely prideful -- to think this way, especially about something so unimportant. But I figure that if I can help someone, I'm willing to be brutally honest and admit that I really struggle with low self-esteem.
At the same time, I'm glad to say that this doesn't happen every day. It happens only when I take my eyes off of God. Suddenly, when I look at the people around me, I feel like I don't measure up. Why should I get involved in something when there are people far better-equipped to do the task than I am? Why should I strive to do better when I've always failed in the past? Why should I begin things when I know that I'll eventually mess them up? I know what it feels like to become consumed with these kinds of thoughts.
But God doesn't look at any of us that way. He sees the brokenness of those who 'have it all together.' He becomes the strength of those who are weak. He tells us to become his hands and feet, to do his work... He doesn't need us to help him, and he knows that we are not perfect, but he chooses to use us. To give us purpose. To give us worth. He reminds us that 'I can't' is no excuse – when we can't, he can. He tells us that he will redeem us from every mistake, every speck of shame, every insecurity that blemishes our past. He tells us that the world will indeed think poorly of us. But in his eyes, we become holy. And he tells us, with love, that his opinion is the only one that truly matters.
I don't know if this question is about you – the person who asked – or someone you know, or if it's simply hypothetical, but I know there are people everywhere who are secretly struggling with this. Like myself. If you're one of them, I don't know where you are spiritually. I don't know whether or not you believe in God. I don't know whether or not you feel that there is hope for you. But I can only tell you what I've learned from my own experience: it's been a long, long process and I mess up from time to time, but I have found so much of who I am in my source, the creator of my soul. If I try to look for myself anywhere else, I lose myself. So I turn instead to God, and I can only hope that you will do the same.
Feel free to email me. The [dot] catmosphere [at] gmail [dot] com. -
[this is an automatically-generated question, because I'm bored and feel like answering something... ask me something? *hint*]
I'd say: "You are loved."
We hear that message, sincerely or insincerely spoken, many times in our lives... I just wish more people realized how true it is. -
Thanks for your question. The answer is obviously pretty complex, and goes much further than what I'll write here, but I'll try to make this short... this is condensed from a couple of essays I wrote on the subject in high school and university.
In answer to your question, I believe abortion is wrong in every circumstance, rape and incest included. I believe that the right to life is always supreme for all humans, so the only time when abortion may be justified is to protect the mother's right to life (in other words, if a child gets impregnated through incest and is certain to die from the pregnancy, you'd be faced with a choice between her life and the baby's, and you would be justified in choosing hers). As for abortion to improve the quality of life, health, mental health, and so on; no – these things are all secondary to the fetus's fundamental right to be born.
Now to the question of why. As R.E. Tully says, “If there are good reasons for allowing an abortion, then these must also be good reasons for taking any human life.” Have you ever thought about how condescending it is talk about “giving” or “allowing” a fetus the right to life? Does anyone ever seriously consider whether the rapist should be “given” this right? Absolutely not – he is assumed to have it because he is a human. Yet, through abortion, we destroy another human who had nothing to do with the rape, who didn't even exist when the rape occurred, and who is about as innocent as innocent can get when it comes to what happened. For the rapist, his humanity was enough to protect him from being killed. For the child who came into being after the event, that same humanity apparently wasn't.
Killing a child because they were conceived a certain race, a certain gender, or disabled is obviously wrong, since they had no control over how they were concieved (and, more fundamentally, because these things don't matter – they don't make anyone “less human”!). Killing a child for being conceived through rape or incest is equally wrong, and reinforces prejudices in our society that shouldn't exist.
This probably makes me sound quite callous towards the women and girls who undergo rape and get pregnant as a result. Trust me, if there's any crime that makes my stomach turn, it's rape – the destruction of innocence and trust, the abuse of power and authority... it just blows my mind that there are men who can do that. But I hesitate to believe that abortion is what most rape victims want. I've read surveys where women describe abortion as a sort of “medical rape” (google the Elliot Institute for more on that)... you can imagine how traumatic it is to have to have a stranger take control of your body right after the trauma of rape is still fresh in your mind. I'd venture to guess that many rape victims don't want to go through this re-victimization just to get rid of the pregnancy itself. More likely, they get abortions because they feel they won't be able to take care of their child, or because they feel that society will judge them for being pregnant and not believe that they were raped, or because they feel their schooling and careers will be compromised by single mothering.
Those issues can't be solved by abortion. We need social change that improves welfare programs and helps single mothers care for their children. We need social change that improves attitudes towards single mothers and wipes out the discrimination, labelling, and prejudice they have to face every day. We need social change that improves programs for working or student mothers, because right now we're stuck in the mindset that women can only become successful in work/school if they sacrifice motherhood. We can do better than that. And with all the money that gets siphoned off into abortions annually ($50 million government dollars in Canada), we have no excuse not to.
One final word. Just as abortion does nothing to improve the socioeconomic circumstances of rape victims, it doesn't help them emotionally, either. After rape, about 30% of women are clinically depressed, and 20% suicidal. After abortion, 65% experience clinical depression, and 60% are suicidal (I have sources for these stats, let me know if you want them). Abortion does not 'heal' them from the effects of rape – it makes their emotional state worse. On the other hand, as David Reardon says, carrying the child to term (whether to give it up for adoption or to keep and raise it) helps women take ownership of the situation and make something good come out of a terrible loss: “Giving birth, especially when conception was not desired, is a totally selfless act ... a display of courage, strength and honor. It is proof that [the victim] is better than the rapist. While he was selfish, she can be generous. While he was destroying, she can be nurturing. Giving birth ...builds self-respect.”
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Loading...Oksana
Ontario
Oksana’s Bio
I'm 19. I live in Canada. I love photography, writing, graphic design, drawing, nature, theology, debate, and Jesus.
