Why thank you kind sir or madam. I do my best to keep my followers, as well as any random viewers, entertained while still being witty and somewhat intelligent versus just crude-for-the-sake-of-crude a la Bob Saget.

Fuck Bob Saget and his shitty stand-up.

Why yes I do anonymous inquirer, I do indeed own my own "an iPod." I do indeed.

2nd one to be honest, almost had to go on to my third.

Not quite an "invention" but I'd say mace. I mean do you know how fucking hard it is to use a chloroformed rag after a chick maces you? Answer : really fucking hard.

If you HAVE to say invention, maybe the cotton gin? Get it - it's a white power joke.

Wake up, fap, check Tumblr, fap, check Sevenstring/Metalguitarist, do some gaming, more Tumblr, fap, etc...

You know, the usual

It's definitely up there with the best of the best, but if that's not then I think the best advice I know wasn't given but stumbled upon; and that was to punch all of life's problems in it's little cunt.

That expression came out of an argument I was having with a friend in the library when I proceeded to snap and tell her I was going to do exactly that - punch her in her little cunt. Like most women, she didn't take kindly to this and I was scolded but I took that nugget of wisdom away from it all. Worth it? I guess so.

A wise man once said to me, and I quote, "Fuck bitches, get money."

Unless there's a new flavor called "I have a giant dick and heaps of money" then none will BEST describe it. Coming in at a close second I guess would be "Half-Baked"

I think it'd be pretty boss to meet Nikola Tesla since he we owe him a shit load, and I think he'd be all "Holy shit, so this is how things end up huh?" After that maybe Lincoln, FDR and one really obscure one that is just kind of a cool "Yeah, I've met ______" person

Boy Meets World, no contest. It's the show I miss nearly every day and I want the college years on a legitimate DVD release.

Lincoln's Assassination so I could be all "LINCOLN! LOOK OUT" and save the second sexiest president our nation has ever known. (First is JFK, cause I mean, god damn look at the man!)

Oh baby, I'd :golf: you in your butt so hard, you don't even KNOW!

Probably taking a chance and going for someone who I had never known or met before; since when I go for someone, I usually know them in some way, but in this case, she was a stranger and we clicked so I took a chance and ran with it. I'd still do the same thing today because it was good until I ruined it.

Honestly, it better be like the fucking Jetsons, cause I'm sick of waiting for my flying car to fold up into a briefcase, and for my robomaid to clean up my shit after bringing me food capsules that I just add water to and voila! Insta-meal.

If you mean in regards to the "your a fagot." kid, no, I have no clue who he/she is and don't really care to. If someone hates me then let them, I've got more important things to do than worry about some insignificant little fuck who I offended somewhere down the line by being me/probably too truthful for his own good.

Oh, nothing much. Living life to it's bare minimum. Go to school, go to work, try to survive etc...

THIS HAS BEEN ASKED BEFORE! So, I'll copypasta my previous answer since it's still somewhat 'lulzy'

"For the first :35 of this video, this is NOT how you shot web, but once you get to the :36 mark - get out your paper and pencil cause voila.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk9_340xqeU&feature=PlayList&p=14B054667CD70915&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=53";

PART B!

How do I shit web? ...Not. a. clue.

Play

I'll never guess who this is? Good news! I don't give two flying fucks who it is, nor am I copying some stupid fucking link left by an anonymous twatbag on my Formspring. Hope you enjoyed taking time out of your day only to have me drop a steaming pile of hatred on it.

Toodles.

Oh, it's ...going I suppose. Whirlwind of emotions, some days up, others down for various reasons. Nothing I can't get over. Still alive which has got to count for something is probably the best way to describe my current situation.

Is it the song of your people? Or is that new djent song by that thiscore or thatcore band, Verb the Noun? I mean, they're pretty sweet but they're no Prepositional Phrase ya know?

Wow, that's a bold statement but in this case I dare say you good sir, are indeed the fagGot. Note the extra 'g' that you missed. I'm also curious, how did you know I owned a 'fagot' as it is brand new and no one has seen it yet? My first thoughts after purchasing it was, "Man, everyone's gonna be SO jealous of my fagot!" Instead, I have people on my formspring asking me blank questions about it.

In case you missed the joke, your grammar is fucking atrocious and if you continue to keep breeding and passing on this intelligence you should be removed from the gene pool. It's "you're" as in, the contraction for, you + are = you're. "Your" indicates possession of something like an object or possible even a person if you're (see that! a proper use of the contraction of you and are!) down with that.