While relationships aren't "work", they do require effort - especially if you are in multiple concurrent relationships. One big point of effort is realizing your own emotional responses and triggers to situations. That way you are able to tell your partner(s) how certain actions make you feel, for better or for worse. You also need to be able to listen to your partner share the same - how certain actions or activities make them feel.

You talk to them about the relationship and discuss with your partner(s) on whether it's healthy for you to stay together. That's how to not be an ass about it.

A kink question on a polyamory Formspring!
First, ditch the ideal of "perfection". Everyone makes mistakes. As for how to avoid mistakes - communicate and discuss expectations and personal boundaries. Also be prepared for your own internal boundaries to be triggered from time to time and don't be afraid to communicate when that happens.

From the conservative side - it deviates from the traditional two-person marriage. Within the poly community, there's mixed opinions. Some are comfortable with polyfidelity. Others either balk at the implied boudaries/restrictions of a closed relationship, or anything that appears like the "couples model" but expanded to include multiple people.

Readers - what do you think?