if you dont want to read a fuller explanation, to put it simply, i hate the person he is. he turned out to be a complete immature asshole. hes treated me the worst ive ever been treated by anyone.


heres the fuller explanation:
the relationship was poisonous and we brought out the absolute worst in each other. i never knew i could lose control over myself but he has a great talent of making my ugliest side out.
it came to a point where i would get annoyed at him for small things and we would argue at least once a week and i hated texting him because it would lead to more arguing so i wrote them blandly if at all. i also felt like he was using me for my body.

i realized that what i thought was love, was never there and i really could not forgive him for the things he did to me. of course, ive done wrong too but all the things i did wrong combined dont even compare to one of the things hes done. like the time he smacked my face and he would defend it with "i didnt smack you. it was like a tap. youd know if i smacked you." the time when he made a scene at a train station by yelling and swearing at me and grabbing and pulling my arm in front of everyone who just got off the train with us. the time he told me i was a horrible daughter and that all i do is take money from my dad and dont help my mum out and that they deserve better. the times he dismissed me when i turned to him because my mental and emotional health were at the lowest because he was busy clubbing or partying. hes made me hate myself more than i ever have before.

all of my friends didnt like him and advised me to end it because it obviously wasnt a healthy relationship but i was fucking dumb and would take him back again and again shortly after ending it.

he would look through my phone, texts, my twitter, twitter messages, facebook messages while i showered or something. which i didnt mind at all because i have nothing to hide. i only asked him that if he wanted to see, to ask me instead of just grabbing my phone. he never asked and just continued to do so but i again, i didnt care. the one and only time i ever looked through his phone, i found out that hed called me a "dumbass broad" to his friends. its fine if you talk to your friends about the hard times in your relationship, but i dont think its ok to call youre bf/gf something you cant call them to their face to someone else, especially youre frikkin dating them. i also found his facebook messages to girls saying "hey cutie" "hot" "hot" and\\ ones trying to creep on other girls whom he claims he knows because quote: "i dont add people i dont know." i just found out that he kept messaging my friend and friend requesting her and then would flirt with her. so now im taking everything hes ever said to me as a lie. i found a message where one girl joked "you can sleep in my bed. just dont sleep in my bed with my sister lol." so if all his friends know that hes dating me like he says, why would this girl make a joke like that unless something happened between them? he claims its because this sister has a crush on him, but hes a liar so who knows? his explanation for this was that he only sent those messages because out of drunk spite because i had exchanged numbers with a classmate who happend to be a guy. but the messages he sent to my friend happened way before he saw that i had gotten my friends number. i should have completely broken it off then but again im fucking stupid and continued to see him unofficially.
we both didnt trust each other. he continued to look through my phone behind my back so i told him to show me his. he refused and then put a passcode on it. so of course im suspicious and ask him what hes hiding and he claims "nothing." so after he has time to delete whatever it is hes hiding or not, he says i can look at it. -___-

i finally came to my senses and completely ended it. i sent him a really long text with all the things i thought about him. all the anger was unleashed in that text and i was done. and then the next day i find out that hes hacked my facebook, an email account, my blog and then deletes everything. to accomplish what? i dont know. very mature for a guy whos turning 27 in a couple of months, right? hes a coward who hides behind texts and then my own facebook.

he would always tell me to grow up and call me a brat but hes acting like a prepubescent girl. he always said "actions speak louder than words" (i fucking hate that quote now) his words always hurt me and his actions spoke pretty darn loud. this is the kind of person he is. in the first couple months he courted me and we dated, he was really nice and then later he would tell me that he loved me and that i was the only girl he ever felt like he wanted to marry. i was fooled. but now i know better. i learned my lesson pretty damn hard. T_T

i really didnt want to write this huge paper cause its more effort than talking about someone like him deserves but i think other people would eventually ask and i dont feel like explaining again. they can just read this. XD