Ask me anything
Recent Responses
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I dunno. What is my actually name? Sounds like I'm missing out on the new fad.
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I suppose so. It isn't going to tear my world apart if I don't know though.
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Considering how much of a mopey ass I've been over the past few weeks, I think here is a good enough place to discuss exactly what has been going on in my life to cause such amazing public angst. Especially considering I'm the kind of person that generally avoids throwing my issues into the public spectrum.
I've been really unhappy for a long time. At first it was a mild annoyance that I pushed to the back of my head - much like everything else - but it's been festering rather arrogantly recently for a number of reasons. I may go into them in detail, I might not. We'll see as I write this.
A recurring issue this year that has boiled up has been my closest friends and their affinity for alcohol - something I for the most part grew out of about the time it became legal for me to drink. Since then, my drinking history has become sparse. Once every 2 months sparse. For my friends, once a week minimum.
Now I'm cool with this - I tolerate the Friday night meetup largely because it's the only chance I get to see most of them. Especially when I'm working 6 days a week if I'm lucky enough - most working weeks for me are about 10 days. I don't enjoy it, but I tolerate it. Because as much as I hate the drunken asshats that they turn into over the course of the night, I do at least get to see them briefly.
But as the year has gone, it's been spreading out into the other times I see them. What's more, it's becoming completely ridiculous. Time and time again I rock up to a meetup and they're all smashed. And on the rare occasion that I want to drink as well, they never wait. Last week I bailed on a dinner with family friends, just to find out that I've been invited to watch Alize-ridden pissants half-assedly play Super Smash Bros. It's become a weekly thing. I am not actually seeing most of my closest friends sober at all, and I haven't for a long time.
I have voiced this concern many times to them, but it has largely been recieved with dismissal. Last Friday one of them told me that 'I need to learn how to have fun.'. It was a struggle not to retort by saying that he needed to learn to have fun sober, but thankfully I resisted.
And then the day after - this Saturday, I'm invited to a movie night with friends. I contacted one of my closer friends and he said he'd head up with me, but the others decided they had better plans and had him bail on me.
Which would have been cool as well (I was going to be late due to work). But then, I call the same close friend as I'm waiting at the bus stop to see how the night was going so far. I asked him if they had been drinking, he said yes.
I told him I wasn't going, and then I hung up. Shortly after, I flew off the fucking hook.
How many times do I need to say that I'm not cool with this? How many conversations do I have to make about it where they agree with me, and then proceed to do the same fucking thing the next week?
Being friends with them has become depressing and unfulfilling, and I have been seriously considering leaving that scene for a while. The problem is, Uni is still 6 months away. Where do I go if I decide to abandon the larger part of my social life? And I love them. I don't want to leave them behind, I don't want to grow out of them. But they're leaving me no choice if I have even a shred of self-respect - if they don't change, I will need to change my social priorities.
This is the big thing on my mind at the moment, a decision I will have to make whether I want to or not for the sake of my mental health. It becomes even more crushing to realize that if there was a choice between me and alcohol, they will choose alcohol every time. They haven't chosen otherwise yet.
The smaller thing on my mind, but still relevant on the spectrum of trust, has been my most recent failure that I suppose I should call a relationship.
Long story short, my girlfriend was cheating on me. Short story long, not only did a good portion of my friends circle know about this, but none of them considered it relevant to tell me that she was. In particular, one close (ex) friend and personal (ex) confidante - who ran the party where she whored herself out - not only lied to my face when I asked her specifically whether she had, but is apparently the one that got her drunk and dared her to in the first place.
It's like they were all laughing at me behind my back. And me finding out was the fucking punchline.
So yeah, I can't trust most of the people I would like to consider my friends. My girlfriend cheated on me. My best friends have become alcoholics, and I'm feeling increasingly more alone. It's become bad enough that I'm at my happiest when I'm at work. How depressing is that?
I have a few big decisions ahead of me, and it's really daunting. I don't know if I'll be okay though. Not for a while, anyway. -
...no? Sorry, I have no idea.
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They're all brilliant, but here is a list running from least consistent to most consistent in terms of quality:
Radiohead
Rolling Stones
Queen
Pink Floyd
The Beatles
Remember that the ordering does not inherently say which is better; just the ones which have the closest ratio between songs made and good songs. -
I like too many games to have a 'best ever', but the one I keep getting cravings for even now is JSRF.
Most Addictive: Up until Black and White came out, I had caught all 493 Pokemon. So I'll say that.
FPS or RPG? Nowadays the two are nigh synonymous, with FPSes focusing more on customization and RPGs trying to engage the player more (most older RPGs have most of the game being spent looking at menus).
As to which I prefer? I don't really discriminate between genres, they all have their own merits. -
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I like it, but I can see why people criticize it so much. Daft Punk helped popularize techno and its subsidiaries by adding musical progression to what was otherwise a two second soundbite looped over and over (i.e. most House music). HAA didn't really progress at all.
Make Love, for example. I enjoy it personally, but it's still 5 minutes of the same riff over and over again. -
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DEY GOOD MAN, THOM YORKE IS A POOR MAN'S MATT BELLAMY
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Videogames and unhealthy quantities of snacks have always got me through my problems, so maybe that'll help. In more recent times, webcomics.
I know a few that are so complicated/good that you'll forget that girls exist!
Also, pornography. That works too. -
Uni websites.
These places are supposed to be strutting their stuff, and thusly their sites should be elegant, yet simply designed to show that their tech guys at the very least know what the fuck they're doing. They are none of those things - simply a buggy mess that students have to trawl (fruitlessly) day by day.
And I'm not even going to one at the moment. Regardless, the day a university or college has a website that isn't a piece of shit is the day I go to that uni. -
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