I wish there were a stunning magickal answer here. Sadly, there isn't. It's like finding someone else for a relationship. You just go in prepared to make sure they know that first, "You are happily married" and that second, "This isn't some covert affair."

Now what makes this difficult without all the other standard complications of 'finding a relationship' is that pretty much no two polyamourists use the same set of definitions. So, the general rule is just be honest.

For example, I am not trolling for someone to date "us." I view each relationship as its own entity. There are definitely priorities. For example I have my 'primary' partner. Sadly at the moment, that equates to my toddler who doesn't understand time management, boundaries, and his communication leaves something to be desired.

As for how I find someone... I've tried the dating sites... That has yielded minimal success. I do not like the fact that I have to take the initiative and hope that my initial contact gives that sparkling first impression. I have discovered that I do better communicating with someone over time before setting up the first date.

Translation, I like to know someone better than superficially before I ask them out.

Oh, and Geek2Geek.com really isn't that great.

Shrug.