Mentally fuck them down.

Actually, I usually just get sarcastic, if I'm that angry, which is not very often...but I have ways of getting into people's heads, not like a psychic, but more like a verbal agent of (usually) benevolent chaos, to try to at least undo a little of the messed up parts of the world. Success depends on my mood - and a lot of other subtle things that are difficult to understand much less explain. And if it doesn't work, I just fire a final riposte and move to the next 'victim'...heehee

You wrote to a comedian "you don't seem like a creepy old woman'.

Widespread disgust beyond mere less-desireability opinion exists in males for women over 40-45 or so, and when I was younger, I did not like old men either, but was never creeped out by them just because of their age - they'd have to DO something creepy first.

But the real reason guys - particularly in their teens to early thirties - hate us so much is nature plays a nasty trick on women too old to have kids: it literally turns off the sex-attractant hormone that broadcasts pheromone. You'll get off on pictures of young women (or the real thing) because young women are 'ripe' for reproduction, and males choose the ones best looking because their DNA, not their penises, is controlling their minds - even if the thought of having kids is hideous to both male and female partners!

When a female's body becomes too aged to safely carry viable pregnancies, menopause occurs - and not only does the sex drive itself go completely away most of the time, the broadcast of that pheromone stops. It's as if she's programmed by nature to not waste men's time.

Guys think they are reacting to things like tits and ass, but look around and you'll often find guys with women who are quite plain, overweight - but only if they're young! This is why. At first the girl might turn him off completely, since we've all grown up now with our heads filled with movies and TV our WHOLE LIVES including infancy, so part of our subconscious expects a world should not have fat ugly women in it, since they don't appear in films or shows unless to portray grouchy, unattractive persons. Before the 20th century, a 200 pound woman was not considered ugly until she stopped menstruating and stopped producing estrogen. That's why marriage exists, or why it has certain provisions for divorce: guys raise a kid or two, after getting their wife pregnant around age 20. When she's 40, he'll have no more interest in her, but HE still is programmed to go make more babies...so generally either stays with his wife and has affairs, or divorces her and supports her with alimony, since her purpose to the world - especially if she never DID raise children - is pretty much done.

I'm not giving you a bad time for feeling the way you do - you cannot help it. It's beyond your control, just as it's beyond the control of old women to remain sexually appealing. It's a sad situation for we old women, so try to realise we do not particularly have a great time being reminded how useless we are, and that our days of sexuality are finished so quickly. 20 years seems like a long time to a young person, but you'll find yourself my age before you know it. However, you'll still be able to have fun that way. Try to be a little more kind to those who can't.

At least I chose to have a great time in my youth, and back then I was fairly good looking even if the years have stolen it and made me look like my mom now...I feel really sorry for girls who save themselves for the perfect husband, reach age 35 and then their anxiety and fat tummies make mates almost impossible to find...and they end up dying virgins. It still happens, even in the US, but thankfully, my instincts knew better and I got a lot while the getting was good.
(In serial monogamy, with one decade long relationship being my final one...now I guess it's crazy cat lady time. LOL)

Peace,
Psychaotic

Whoever said "old creepy woman" is condemned to the curse of having to be female, middle aged and realise everyone around you is half your age and won't look at you as peers anymore, just ugly, useless, unattractive used up vaginas. Nature's fault, mostly - once menopause hits, we're robbed of sex hormones, so the invisible pheromones that actually end up making people attract to each other more than looks a lot of the time just completely stop at my age and no HRT therapy will make that part come back. Enjoy your youth, women, with men, they get their testosterone til they drop dead, just slowly less and less of it. We, though, are useless without attractiveness, and experiments have shown people actually react with more warmth to plain or even slightly ugly women under 30-35 or so at most, but will not attract even to rich, plastic-surgeried, "hotties" if they're menopausal. Nature, I hate you sometimes. This is why women are seen as the weaker crazier gender, IMHO.

And yeah I'm 46 and just had my pheromones go poofty so maybe I'm a little peevish when I see phrases like "old creepy woman", as if I needed reminding. Being creepy (not in a gross way, just a goofy way) is how I deal with losing my sex drive/life/worthiness feeling sometimes...Maybe sciene will fix this someday, but I will most likely be dead by then at the rate medical research happens in an age where war is seen as more important than life improvement, science-grant wise.

Antha is Greek for Flower

There are lots of Anthas and similar sounds in flower names. Chrysanthemum, antherium, I could think of more if I wasn't tired...
Once upon a century ago I usedta be a florist, or work in flower shops, but mostly just as decorative 20 year old to chat up customers - I never got trusted with the arrangement work... :-(

ZAX 333
(And that's the number 333, not a bunch of silly heart shapes!)

My Cat Urrow bewilders its hostility with her incredible paw-pad massage and the most beautiful dappled, brindle-faced tabby stripes EVER seen on a feline. ^>|<^

Choronzon - "Undergoing Overcoming"
from the album _Complicity Simplexity_, which is side 3/4 of the New World Chaos collection.) The first time I heard it, it made me know what power felt like, and it still can do that to me when I'm in a state where I can feel. (For many years after a breakup and a subsequent breakdown resulting in involuntary emotionectomy, I couldn't feel anything. I'm getting better at it but still have spells of blank when things get really painful...but rarer now than since it happened 5 years ago.)

For too many reasons to mention: it's still my favourite track in the whole world.

Changes a lot--which I like.

1. Pot is virtually legal.
2. The air is cleaner
3. It used to be a lot moreso, but because once upon a time, it was a true liberal city. Not really any more though, which has me pretty bummed.
4. The architecture's beautiful
5. There's still something for everyone here, in the various districts, but it was better when there was still LSD and lots of people were taking it - that all ended around 2002 or so and now other than pot, the only drugs around are crack, heroin and speed, like everywhere else...

I am sick and fucking tired of being hit with the slogan NEVER FORGET in regards to 9/11. Why do I want to remember a sickening tragedy? People don't say NEVER FORGET on the anniversary of, say, Katrina. There's a coded message in this NEVER FORGET that really means "AMERICA ROCKS DUDE AND ALWAYS SUPPORT OUR TROOPS BECAUSE THEY KILL MUSLIMS AND KEEP US SAFE" which is total crap, this was never about religion for whoever it was (and yes, I'm one of those 'kooks' who thinks if Bin Laden had anything to do with it, it was in collusion with intergovernmental higher-ups, probably but not necessarily not JUST the Bush Administration.)

I spent 9/11 walking around Frisco graffiti'ing newspaper racks with NEVER FORGET (THAT THIS CRIME'S STILL UNSOLVED!)

Claiming we killed Osama yet dumped the body in the ocean out of respect for his religion is INSANE! Every bit of available real evidence was carted away and destroyed as quickly as our corrupt government could do it. And anyone who can't go to this link and read it, and still thinks of 'doubters and skeptics' as kooks (I prefer that to 'truthers' since we can really never know the full truth about anything as complex as this) is probably either so into their American nationalism that they cannot accept these proven facts, or is - as most seem to be - secretly in understanding that SOMETHING fishy went on with the INSTANT "al-Qaeda' determination yet cannot emotionally handle the idea that America could collude in the murder of three thousand plus of its own citizens, so by calling questioners 'tinfoil hatters' it makes them feel somehow more secure (and safe from the ridicule of others who are probably feeling JUST LIKE THEM.)

Sad.

http://www.historycommons.org/project.jsp?project=911_project

Read "key events" and "day of 9/11" if you are new to skeptic research. There are a lot more additions to this project since I first read it in 2004. I rather wish they would keep a simple version around since arriving at this page can be sort of textually intimidating, since so much information has come out in the past 7 years.

In front of my damn screen, where else?

Actually, everyone.

Formspring is kind of confusing about this.

22 sounds old? I'm 46. Would give the world to be 22 again.
Mine's on the cusp of Cancer and Leo, 22 July.
Like I give a crap about asstrology.

Morning?

I must have read William Gibson's Pattern Recognition about 6 times...

For a while I was stuck on Eclipse, even though Twilight bored me, I have a thing for the ancillary characters especially Alice and Jasper. I love mind control erotica and both of them are so cute. ;-D

The only anime besides "Loveless" that I watched more than once (well, a lot of times...) was "WELCOME To The NHK!" It's WAY different than the norm, very satirical and funny, while also the scariest thing anyone who has the slightest "otaku"-ness about them could watch.

(Personal, dumb jealousy reasons usedta make me somewhat prone to hate the anime "look" and "feel", so I found the tragic parts funny too - and love that there's actually a girl in it who's in her middle years. So tired of schoolgirls.)

Laibach. Never got a chance to catch them live, but I have loved them for 23 years or so, despite the fact that most of the time, can't understand a word they sing or recite. But as the years went on the group became more globally aware and started mixing all sorts of languages into their work, sometimes creating subtle puns that you'd have to be practically trilingual (a lot of Europeans ARE, these days) to "get". But I just mostly go for their Deep Vocal Octaves, the Timpanis, and the POWER you can hear in their work despite how minimal it can be.

There's something amazing to me in music creators whose works are all totally different sounding than whatever they did last, and this is very true of them - and yet, you automatically recognise that it's Laibach, if you are familiar with their sound, you still can tell it's them, whether the album's rock, industrial opera, ritual backdrop soundtrack, even dancey stuff.

The Residents also possess that quality: a band with nothing at all in common with Laibach but that.. and the fact I'm crazy about them.

I'll bite.

Send it on up.

The happy college days it makes me think of, when me and a girl friend of mine would jump up and down on our beds while our minds were delightfully flying a few feet higher than our heads. Now I can't hear it without dancing:
Cabaret Voltaire - "Sensoria".

Old Front 242 songs like "Masterhit" have the same effect, but call up darker memories of darker substances...like Jagermeister in excess, at the Zone 6/Aggrotech industrial club at Lipp's Underground. Greatest club in Frisco... 'til some rich jerkoff bought it, renamed it Asia SF, and started playing bad, bad pop hip-hop schlock, and I would have to be offered wads of cash to dance to it, it is that bad!

I had a couple of good ones in high school, but no teacher gripped my mind like my freshman UC Berkeley Rhetoric IA prof, Susan Shahzade. Not sure if that name's spelled right.

She taught us about how every communication is a transaction, with someone attempting to make a sale (influence you to think a certain way) and the customer needed certain mental tools to not end up falling for the peddlers of cheesy, unsubstantiated notions - the junk food snake oil of the intellect.

The whole IA-1B year with her was vital to my development, helped me enormously with my other courses, and dealing with my life living at the famous Berkeley communal student co-op - Barrington Hall - where every dinnertime turned into a huge political discussion...argument, sometimes even screaming match. Learning how to argue well...what part of life doesn't require us to deal with that at some point?

Amsterdam...Portland...and I'd like to see New York some day.

People say all the San Franciscoish people from Frisco all moved to Oregon and Vancouver.