Because you give out all the interesting ones.

I think I'M the house pet.

Grey. Yes, I'm pretty boring.

Drink until I pass out. Usually works.

The Pokemon theme song.

Yes. Purely so I can say to you: I want you inside me and I want you to ride me all day long.

90's obviously. Grunge scene was the shit.

Not often. When I break/lose them.

No, they are a collective disgrace to humanity.

Tittyfuck McAssburger. I would regret it all the time but it would make a great drunken introduction.

Small kid. He's probably some spoilt little shit anyway.

Angry birds

Why would I wish for my untimely demise? Lol.

Jack of all trades. You're more likely to actually survive in a difficult situation that way.

Asus?

In all seriousness: 12. Okay maybe 10 if it's not going to be a strenuous day.

The toilet. I truly do feel incredibly secure there. It's my haven.

Hmm, I'm pretty sure you asked this one before; but obviously the horse sized duck, because you can make an awesome confit de canard from it afterwards.

A utilitarian response would be one baby. However, are we really minimising the total amount of harm caused? What is the exchange rate of painless deaths to painful deaths? Is happiness/harm truly quantifiable, as Mill implied?

I cannot overestimate the amount of procrastination I undergo on a daily basis