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All responses Most smiled responses
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Taller, definitely. I have enough boobage to go around. If I was a foot taller I'd go from being an average-sized lady to a very large lady indeed. Funny how relative we are when it comes to what's "big" or "too big" or whatever.
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(Note: I don't feel qualified to direct advice to sexual abuse survivors. The question here asked is how I (and my husband) navigate this terrain; here I'm going to express some of the limitations that mainstream parenting culture purports and my response to the suppositions of "safety" afforded by these commonalities. Full disclosure: neither my husband nor myself were victims of sexual abuse as children, although I have experience of sexual abuse and coercion as a young adult.)
Thank you for your question!
What is "too much fear"? If you mean many parents/guardian adults/teachers have an inflated sense of Stranger Danger I'd agree with you. If you seek to quantify the suffering that abuse has wreaked on children and grown children, I don't know if we can ever say "too much". That said, our mainstream media certainly deals in many scarepieces and/or graphic (and repeated ad nauseam) true accounts of Misery Porn and Sadistic Pervert Fables and I do think this has tainted parenting culture and village child-rearing (because the rest of the village is participating, whether they want to admit it or not) in unhelpful and harmful ways.
Yet for those of us who are able, it is very possible to parent our hopes and not our fears with regard to keeping our children safe.
Most abuse of children is inflicted by those the child knows and trusts. That can help give us pause when we worry about the lurking fellow at the library or the one jumping out of an alley (these incidents happen, but are much rarer). Compounding the misery around this topic, many abuse victims are routinely silenced, blamed, second-guessed, minimized, and even vilified. Embarking on a discussion of the relative safety of Strangers often re-injures those who were abused by strangers. Any discussion is best served by sensitivity and acknowledgment: because it is true, many have been victimized.
A re-focus on the family, where most abuse occurs, might help us respond with more compassion and intelligence when stranger abuse/violence is inflicted on children or the very rare case of stranger abduction (about 110 cases a year in a nation of 40 - 45 million children). Ironically (and tragically) our cultural concepts that families are "safe" and we can keep our children unscathed by strangers through the right amounts of control and vigilance, means not only are we frightened and teach our children to fear but we are currently responding very poorly indeed to those families who are the victims of tragedies, mistakes that could happen to any of us, or a combination of these events.
Provided your children are currently safe, we can do much for our them while they are in our care. We can help them - or rather, not hinder them! - as they develop their personal intuition, inner strengths, knowledge of autonomy, and internal convictions of right and wrong. Sadly many mainstream parenting strategies actually serve to subvert these developments or seriously compromise them as to be nearly unworkable.
For example many parental/adult discussions about "safety" for kids involve measures of external control, "rules", and lectures. Those kinds of external motivators in fact detract our children's inner strength and personal knowledge of righteous anger and/or violation (or "uh-oh" sense, as I've heard it called) and also subtly (and sometimes not-so-subtly) reinforce the idea they are second class citizens and grownups know best. Most kids spend their lives being told to do what grownups tell them. When someone comes along who wants to abuse them, if they have any skill and finesse at all, our children are easier marks than many would like to believe. Not to mention we are teaching future perpetrators if you're big enough and strong enough (mentally, physically, etc.) it will be your dominion to do with others as you please.
I don't have very nuanced advice for recognizing pedophiliac tendencies within a family or trusted friend - the lack of detailed and holistic discussion of this is sad indeed as these abuses are more endemic than stranger or teacher abuse (note the dismissive reviews and overall low ratings of a nuanced and disturbingly real, complex, and absolutely true case in the documentary Awful Normal, which I recently viewed). I do think familial abuse could almost be called commonplace - and yet it remains under-discussed. I am not very sophisticated at guessing as to WHY it's so under-discussed. I have some theories. Culturally we undervalue women and their lived realities and the majority of sexually-exploited persons are female-bodied - but by no means all of course. Culturally we oppress children (even very loving adults/parents/carers do, because they don't know better or are too scared to do anything but what is handed to them as "good parenting") but we aren't ready to admit that, of course, abuse is a tragic and inevitable result of this systemic oppression.
As far as pedophilia goes, as long as our culture is invested in oppositional sexism, misogyny, and dominator culture, we will see a rich (if underground) environment for full-fledged pedophiles. Our culture supports many of the cornerstones of pedophilia - look around at images in our MSM and you will see the constant sexualization AND infantalization (meaning here enforced powerlessness) of women and girls - women turned into "girls" (or told they should try to achieve this through surgery, hair removal, "feminine" - as in docile and het-male-oriented - behavior, surgeries including labioplasty for a "young" vagina (a cosmetic procedure currently on the rise), and a widespread disgust of, dismissal of, trivialization of or lack of respect afforded to women's bodies including, notably, childbirth and breastfeeding), and girls in turn given messages their sole functions are either (eventual) reproductive ones, roles of ornamentation, or to satisfy the normative heterosexual man's tastes and preferences (this in turn gives our men poor scripts as well). The power dynamics reified in these cultural messages are staggering and speak to our complicity in the power dynamic inherent in sexual abuse. In other words Monsters don't just hop out of closets and grab our little girls (and boys); we create them.
This all sounds very glum- but I hope any adult/parent/carer will take a few minutes to realize how vulnerable our children are and how they need our better care - and they need us to do better to change the world, not just for our children but for our children's children.
As for us and how we, the Hogabooms, have "handled it" - the answer would take many more pages for me to type. The subjects of sex, sexism, power, and bodily autonomy are ones we've had in our family since before the children were born (because we are genuinely interested in them, not because we seek to "program" our children properly); we don't hide these subjects from our kids but we also don't frighten them. The in-tune parent/carer will see when a child is frightened or unsure or curious or playful. the in-tune parent/carer will respond when a child asks a question, then be a decent-enough conversationalist to pick up cues as to the child's understanding level and willingness and interest to listen.
I ask my kids a lot of questions. I ask them if it's okay to kiss someone if they don't want you to. I listen to their responses and thoughts about marriage and procreation. I ask them if a man can be married to a man. I ask them if they know what "rape" is. I obviously don't ask them all this at once! Rather I am condensing a series of amazing conversational moments (and much learning for all parties) over the years.
I play games with them. Some of my favorite involve asking them permission to touch them. Sometimes I ask them permission to kiss them (and then wait). Sometimes to PINCH them (never painfully). They enjoy having power and they enjoy scaring themselves. I don't hold them down and tickle them, ever. I don't make them submit to my desire for them physically (although sometimes I will beg for a hug). I come to them when they ask me to hug or cuddle them (they do this often). I let them decide how they want their bodies treated, including what medical care they'd like and what food they want to eat and what they want to wear (and no, I did not give them this much freedom from the moment they were born either... when children are babies it is very appropriate we decide what they wear and and that we lock up poisons they might try to drink what medical care they receive - the latter is a responsibility that we often take for granted but is rather mind-blowing when I think about it).
On that note I also do not disrupt their bodily autonomy. MOST parents I know, my husband and myself included until relatively recently, are very poor at this - we disrupt children's spiritual, emotional, physical, and bodily autonomy on a *regular basis*. Sometimes I think re-affording them that autonomy is the very, very best thing we can do to keep them safe. It also does wonders for the health and happiness and harmony of all family members.
How to do that, to begin to do it or learn or deprogram, is not something easily expressed and depends on individual factors. I am always happy to listen to specific family scenarios and respond. I'd like to think I've helped many families (and I'm told I have). You can email me at kelly AT hogaboom DOT org.
Good luck! You have an awesome, incredible, wonderful responsibility. Raising children has been the best, so far, adventure of my life. -
I have a feed reader and two tweetstreams. Anytime I run across a blog or newsite or humor site I enjoy or am challenged by, I add it and it automatically aggregates the stuff. On Twitter I have a personal account (kellyhogaboom) and my... I don't know, "social justice" account (underbellie). I follow (mostly) friends and/or awesome, funny people at kellyhogaboom and I follow (mostly) other friends or sites or groups in activism, social writing, etc. I use a program where I can see both these tweetstreams (also search terms I am interested in too).
The problem isn't growing a crop of great information, that's easy. The problem (for me) is not getting fatigue from it all! Obviously one can OD on too much horrible news about homophobia and bullying and rape of Congolese women and girls, etc. Occasionally I go clear my feed reader without checking some posts. I can also just skim my more intense tweetstream. It depends on what resources I have. In general though, I do read a lot online.
I am currently looking for humor-only or uplifting-only content for those times I need some nice, positive feelings. Problem is even on humor sites there is no escape from the crappy stuff I read all day and the work I am committed to. For instance I remember I was looking at cakewrecks and having a great time laughing. Then there was a cake with a naked woman on it giving birth. You can imagine the negative and horrid comments people were making about women, their bodies, birth, etc. It really killed my "fun".
So far cuteoverload is doing well as a recharge. Talking to my husband, snuggling with my kids, going running, and having four cats is also helpful. At times cooking takes me out of the reading-funk although I am known to cook and be thinking and reflecting the whole time.
I take some pride in the fact many people find my writing (my own and shared) influential and helpful. It *is* work, in case anyone was wondering! -
No. But one time I gave 2 week notice, and my employees promptly let me go the next day. I'm glad for the year of unemployment this got me and I enjoyed the fantasy that some HR and dept. personnel were reamed for their idiocy. Seriously. That year saved our family's bacon.
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I recently read there are five socioeconomic classes: poor, working class, middle class, upper class, and owning class. Class is a discussion NO ONE in America wants to have (okay - very few people). Maybe that's why so many people talk "middle". It feels safe.
I recently plugged our data into a class calculator and it turns out our income is working-class (whereas my education is middle-class). But I'd been lumping myself as middle-class. It's hard to own up to working class (although that's also my familial background). I think because I feel like I have so much more than so many other people, so I tend to not want to admit to anything but that "safe" label of middle class. Funny, huh?
Your query seems to put the question or rather the edict: if people don't start being more honest about class, and do some excoriating self-examination, we're certainly not going to make meaningful strides.
Thank you for an excellent question. Socioeconomic class in America is an interest of mine. I'm looking forward to further educating myself. -
Is this a real question to Kelly-actual-goddamned-Hogaboom? I think you have the wrong lady for a couple reasons.
Nevertheless I answer all questions! So if I had to go to a job interview I would need to buy or borrow something appropriate. I do not own a suit nor a dress. OK I have one dress but it looks something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kliy32YWFcU , not appropriate for most job interviews and I haven't been brave enough to wear it anywhere anyway (recent thift store purchase, $2).
If we had to purchase something I would probably venture into the Oly area of Avenue or Lane Bryant because they are semi-local and at my price-point. I am a size 14 and DDD-cup bra; I can squeeze into the upper end of "regular" sizes but as Joy Nash elucidates on (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA - FA segue anyone?) why should I spend hours trying to do so (and likely come away empty handed). I do not make shopping for my clothes a high priority but am starting to have more of an interest in personal fashion.
Oh and no matter what I'd likely wear a pair of my doc martens as I am addicted to that particular brand of footwear. I don't own any heels whatsoever. -
I am just now getting to this question as I found that Forbes article difficult to wade through. My first thought: even despite data, facts, and many (heretofore unimpeachable) professional women's testimonies, it is still impressive how many people will try to come up with ANY possible reason these women "deserve" a disproportionate rate of firing and or (fake) "layoffs" (my favorite line of reasoning: new mothers categorically "lose their edge". Complete and utter bullshyt).
The story of Rosenberg and Bostjancic at Merrill (and Bostjancic's immediate replacement after years of "stellar" work) is a very telling (and predictable, and depressing) one. In fact *all* the stories are depressing and I wish these fighting women luck in their suits brought against these companies. As women in powerful positions the battle they're waging has far-reaching implications for all professional women and (I'd hope) even working- and middle-class women.
As long as women are still expected to do most of the childrearing, and then punished when they *do* have children (or evidence of family life), it's pretty obvious how severely the deck is stacked against them. I had some of this fallout in my career as an engineer but for brevity's sake I will not go into it now; if you'd like to chat more do re-question or send me an email at kelly AT hogaboom DOT org.
Back to the Forbes article: compare the reactions to professional women and their marginalization especially when it comes to family life with the reactions regarding suggested changes at Downing Street (not corporate but the highest gov't office in Britian):
http://www.fertilefeminism.com/in-the-news/downing-street-goes-family-time-friendly/
Notice anything similar? Women are expected to be doing all the at-home stuff, and expected not to lead, to be paid, or afforded status for their "less important" work.
If you are interested in more evidence regarding our less-than-egalitarian country regarding men and women's roles in the workplace and family, I recommend adding this blog to your feed reader:
http://contexts.org/socimages/
I'm sure there are better ones but this is one I enjoy.
"This whole hatred for 'breeders'": goodness. This is where I lose my chipper optimism and just begin to feel despair. First of all, the hatred of "breeders" is of course disproportionally heaped on A. women and B. children (OMG you childfree grownup you are *so awesome* for picking on a four year old!). Secondly, it's about the most short-sided kind of hatred I can think of, by turns insensitive, callous, and selfish. Only miliseconds ago according to the calendar of our Earth YOU were born and cared for and fed and raised up and clothed; mere milliseconds from now you will be aging and dying, your body failing and nurses and family and friends ushering you on with kindness and compassion (if you are fortunate to live a natural life). In addition, any of us are only one accident away or one illness away from disability. Boy, in all THOSE cases (infancy, illness, old age, disability, our death bed) we sure will be happy for those nice people who give selflessly to care for us!
But for now? F*ck those snot-nosed brats and their cattle-like parents (moms).
So, so sad. I'm glad breeder-hate is a rare and vocal minority, but I do feel so down when I see it. It demonstrates some of the worst qualities human beings can evidence.
Thank you very much for your input; your article was a good one to share. -
Thanks for your question!
I have experienced both comment-free spaces and commenting spaces (moderated and unmoderated) & I'm pretty sure UB will remain comment-free for its duration. My contact page has my email address. -
Thank you for your question!
This is a common issue with those first learning to bake bread. In fact I made so many hockey pucks I gave up for a few years. What irritates me is how accomplished breadmakers say bread is "easy". Yeah well, it is - ONCE you know a few things and have enough success to be confident and not second-guessing oneself. If it was so "easy" right off the bat we wouldn't have all those automatic breadmakers kicking around (that most people don't end up using). Here to say making bread by hand is so lovely (once you get the hang of it) it's easy to make it several times a week.
OK, on to your concerns. There are a few ways bread might turn out this way. I'm not going to bore your ass with flour protein content blah blah because I bake with whatever white flour I have on hand and my bread always turns out with a good texture.
Keep in mind I am not some professional baker, I merely make a variety of family breads that people enjoy.
Basically I'd guess there are a few scenarios, listed here in order of likeliness, that contribute to non-fluffy bread: it is either not being allowed to rise enough, you are adding too much flour, you are not kneading it enough, or you are killing your yeast / have bad yeast (this latter is rare).
Let me go through these, and when you experiment, try some white bread (not whole grain) so you can have success before moving onto loaves with less easy flour.
1. Let the dough rise as long as it needs to, not a set time. Don't worry, as you get better at bread you will get ot the point where you can time it well. In general the dough is ready when you can press in gently and it has a puffiness to it, but springs back (just). If you feel you've screwed up simply punch it down, knead for a few minutes, and let it rest and rise again. You can let bread rise more than once, or put it in your fridge (covered with a damp cloth or oiled plastic wrap) if you can't get to it. RISING IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE, it's more something you have to get used to the feel and touch of the loaf. So whatever works, go for it. I used to put my dough in the oven with a bowl of very hot water. These days I just let it sit on my counter. I have developed a bread-intuition re: time, and you will too.
2. You may be adding too much flour. Basically with most recipes, add all but a cup of the recipe's flour in, then mix it. Then add bits at a time (maybe 1/4" at a time). This is the stage where you'll stop mixing and turn out to knead. Different kinds of loaves have dough in different positions on the wet <---> stiff continuum, but in general you want something soft and plaint. While kneading you want something sticky enough that you are adding tiny bits of flour to get it from sticky to tacky, then you can turn it out on the counter and knead on a very light sprinkling of flour (without the dough sticking to the counter). As you get good at this you'll notice you just add these little bits of flour to keep it at this tacky stage.
As you finish your need the dough should be tacky like the back of a post-it note. It should be "healing" well while you knead. You shouldn't have to force it together.
3. Kneading makes bread strong enough to hold itself up. Don't give it short shrift.
4. Yeast: the ONLY way to kill yeast is add too hot of water or milk or whatever. To be on the safe side, add water that feels very warm to a finger, not hot. "Bad yeast" or "old yeast" is a rare condition. To comfort yourself this is not the case, whisk the warm water/milk, sugar, and yeast in a bowl and set it aside for a few minutes. Make sure it foams ("proofing" the yeast) and you're good to go. )Wait to add the salt when you add the yeast mixture to the flour.)
I hope this helps. I seriously want to bread-enable every person who wants to bake bread, so if there are any other queries please re-question here or email me at kelly AT hogaboom DOT org.
And finally - if you can take a simple class or watch someone online you may gain success faster than I did (farting around at home in my kitchen. One of the most fun videos to watch is Joyce at imcooked. ANY of her stuff is good, but seek out some bread info to see the kind of textures etc. that bread needs to succeed:
http://www.imcooked.com/uvideos.php?UID=140&type=public
Oh, and your "boat anchor" comment reminded me of that rather hilarious bread/duck scene in the film About a Boy. Thanks for the chuckle! -
I don't really hate "chores" and I prefer to call it work, because that's what it is. And I've never felt "hate" regarding the work I do.
My partner tends to do the vaccuuming because I kind of see vaccuuming as fruitless yet necessary. He also cleans up after dinner because that is one time when I usually either prefer to rest or sew.
The work I like the most is cooking and making the beds. I make the beds first thing in the morning because it gives the room a sense of order. I also love to keep the laundry finished (we typically only have a small pile that remains undone) because it feeds my slight OCD tendencies. -
I think this is a common concern for those open to unschool/homeschool lifestyles. They begin to become open and interested but remain fearful. I'm here to help put to rest some of those fears and assist you (as best I can) with any support you might need.
Of course as an unschooler (I prefer the term life learner) I kind of laugh at the thought of unschooling kids "only getting my perspective on things". When I see how much exposure and education my kids get daily to many lifestyles and subjects and people (in ALL walks of life) and varied social situations it occurs to me the last thing they're getting is "just me". And they're only 6 and 8, not yet old enough or interested in driving/bus/bike themselves to concerts and museums and community events or take up paid or volunteer work they're interested in (which I have an inkling they'll do earlier and more willingly than most of their schooled peers). They are both on the verge of these activities though and of course, they both have a compass at getting around town (via walking, busing, and biking) better than some adults I know.
In other words, with an autodidactic learning environment I get to watch my children educate themselves (with my support and guidance and funds when they are needed). You remember how amazing it is to watch a baby teach itself to walk (make no mistake, they do it on their own)? Learning is no different. Give most children the supportive environment to lead the way, and they pursue most subjects with alacrity and ability that is a joy to watch (and I do believe this to be true of most children; I don't believe mine to be particularly "gifted"). This lifestyle is not something that most American parents today accept, so most children aren't given these environs.
It's funny also you'd say unschooling means you will have to "[address] things I don't know much about". Two things come to mind, first off my biology teacher in high school who was mostly a football coach. I loved him, he was a sweetie. He read out of a book to "teach" us, a book nearly identical to the ones we had on the desk, open in front of us. Often he'd stumble over a word and someone would correct him (or we'd sit there with our eyes glazed, bored as hell). Guess who I know who'd be far more better at teaching my 8 year old daughter biology? My 8 year old daughter. In fact she is currently working her way through a Time Life series on the subject. Trust me, she is retaining more knowledge than I did (and I was a straight-A student)!
The second thing that comes to mind regarding "things I don't know much about" is that as my children learn things on their own steam I have the opportunity to learn them as well or at the very least experience the joy in watching them learn the way they do. My son Nels started gardening at 4 and all I know about plant-growing is mostly due to him. My daughter humbles me, absolutely humbles me with her abilities at drawing. As a result I've been poring through more books and comic books (or graphic novels if you prefer) and re-connecting with my artistic self, a person I thought I'd lost years ago (back when I was voted "Most Artistic" a few times in my school career).
If you're thinking about what we often consider the "advanced" academic subjects, such as chemistry or calculus, please. Should your child be interested in math (as both mine are; my son especially shows joy in the subject) you'll pick up books as your child expresses interest and your learning will bloom alongside theirs. (Keep in mind a grasp of "math" is not limited whatsoever to doing problems in a book.) Or if they really take off to some high-level and you don't want to work with them you'll find them a tutor or another parent or another person to work alongside them. Or they'll surprise you and won't need help - or will seek it out on their own. I'm always kind of gobsmacked when I come across some amazing, detailed Lego structure they've built or some musical instrument they've created or a rich storyline they've put on paper or an email formatted beautifully - correct grammar and sentence structure and all. Part of me is so amazed at this beautiful thing, part of me feels guilty I wasn't "around" for some of this learning, and part of me feels like an Old Person because I swear my brain is not this elastic and incredible!
A parent who is concerned their child gets good exposure to the subjects the child is interested in, and who has the tools to support the child (in other words enough money to pay the bills for the most part, a supportive group of friends and family or partner) is going to do a good enough job and hello, I'd wager a better job than any school I've set foot in. Autodidactic kids let us know exactly what they need from us; our exposure to them and life alongside them helps us keep in touch.
One thing I'd point out here is that I have heard kids who've spent time in school often have an adjustment period when you bring them out. They don't immediately go start a garden or embark on a self-study of animal drawings, for instance (like my kids have). This process is sometimes called "deschooling" and can involve a child relearning that learning is fun - or how to be less of a passive consumer and more the author of one's own life. I only know a bit about "deschooling" as I didn't really have to deal with it in my family. If your children have been in school for some time and you are interested in removing them, please do re-question here or email me (kelly AT hogaboom DOT org) and I will help find some sources who have expertise and experience.
Thanks again for your questions and please don't hesitate to write back if you like. -
Two words: BORRR-RRING! I have four more days of total deprivation before I begin adding foods back in (or doing "challenges"). Which means eating corn for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and seeing how my body responds. Then waiting a day (back to the base allergy elimination diet) and trying something new.
Boring and yet kind of exhausting and joyless at the same time.
And yet my sleep has improved, my alcohol and caffeine consumption are at zilch, and my stomach problems are gone as well. I'm glad for that and I do think, given those factors, the food plan is a success so far. -
Anna's tail is growing back nicely. She has been molting regularly and seems quite healthy.
But I have terrible news: she is missing! Two nights ago just before we went out for the evening we discovered she was not in her cage. Her disappearance is a true mystery. We have searched the house high and low and cannot find her. We are very sad about this, especially Sophie and I. We hope she comes home soon, but I fear the worst.
Thank you for your query! -
Thanks for your question! I'm sorry it took me so long to respond.
There are a handful of typical concerns many home/un-schooling "outsiders" or those new to the concepts ask - "But what about socialization?" is one, handily followed by the college question you ask here.
I am no expert on the *many* avenues unschool/homeschool families get into college (should the kids decide they want to go) - I do know that home- and unschoolers have success getting into good schools and often score better on placement tests etc. than their public and private-school-educated peers.
Homeschooled students may satisfy their academic requirements through volunteer work, paid work, travel, and research, while also pursuing their own special interests or exploring their unique talents. school.familyeducation.com has an article with some real examples of how this can be done:
http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/college-prep/30192.html
At squidoo Andi wrote a bit about her personal experiences - essentially, she advises that by the time the child is 14 or 15 they keep records of their activities / projects / leadership positions / jobs / internships etc and use this as a packet for college and scholarship applications - if they so choose. Of course as we all know sometimes we don't keep the most excellent records and have to sum up by memory, as we've all done on job resumes etc.
You can read more of Andi's advice here:
http://www.squidoo.com/unschoolersandcollege
She also indicated you can kind of 'sniff' out the more homeschool-friendly colleges by the nature of their programs. Just like anything else, you research a school before you apply.
And finally, here is another decent-looking series of articles on the subject:
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/olderkids/College.htm
And finally! Life Learning magazine is an excellent resource that has a few issues on the subject - I'm thinking specifically "Don't Worry About College by John Taylor Gatto in March/April 2008 and "College Without School" in January/February 2010. If you have children and even a smidge of interest in home/unschooling, consider purchasing an issue or a subscription as this is an impeccable publication (NAYY).
http://www.lifelearningmagazine.com/read.html
I hope I have in part answered your queries. There are obviously many people and groups more educated than I. My kids are 6 and 8 and college isn't first on our priorities list at this point. -
Why thank you!
I'm thinking about making a few of those pincushions (http://www.flickr.com/photos/kellyhogaboom/tags/seasnailwristpincushion/) for friends. I need to find a clever way to use elastic and velcro so I don't have to do an exact wrist measurement, or ask anyone ahead of time what their wrist measurement is. -
OK, I'm not sure. You can kind of buy them anywhere, but they are the "cigar" version, meaning they're wrapped in a tobaccy leaf. Otherwise they're like the old-school blacks. But you can't find the blacks anymore? I dunno. Dang. Ask Jasmine! She's on FB.
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Pfft, I know. The Farbenmix book (http://kelly.hogaboom.org/?page_id=5614) is supposed to be for beginners but... I think it would have to be a beginner who A. knew their way around a sewing machine, and B. was willing to go slow on each project. I'm hoping for those readers, they will google and find my project and it will help.
Thanks for the offer on the van! You are too kind. -
Thank you for your question!
To be honest, often the music I listen to is swallowed up by my childrens' and husband's preferences. In other words, what I'm playing right now is likely something of theirs. Luckily I really like what they're playing which includes a lot of Fever Ray, The Gossip, Bat For Lashes, Caribou, Balmorhea, Los Campesinos, Metric, and a smattering of Abba and some Shakira.
I tend to enjoy a little R&B or urban pop/dance. My last album I obsessively played over and over was Jazmine Sullivan's "Fearless"; Justin Timberlake gets a bit of play too. When I want to belt something out in the car it's either him or Beyonce's B-Day (sadly, just can't seem to get into Sasha Fierce). Bill Withers' greatest hits is what's playing today as I make coffee and sew. That gentleman is a class act and I love his music.
Often when Ralph's not around I play oldies - you know, 50s and early 60s American pop.
Also: my husband's demos for his upcoming album are obsessively going through my brain near-constantly these days (http://fawm.org/fawmers/ralphhogaboom/). I cannot wait for him to record these songs - and the others he is writing - because they're awesome. I'm not sure what you'd call his music: I'm thinking this next album will be indie pop with a heavy 80s New Wave sensibility. And that's just gooooOOOOd.
My "Top 25 Played" in iTunes reveals Fleet Foxes, Phoenix, Jazmine Sullivan, and Karen O & The Kids (Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack). -
Squee! A question! No wait, two! Awesome!
So, I smoke OPs (other people's), but I am a snob and will only smoke either Camels (rarely these days, though) or Djarum Blacks (clove cigarettes, urban legend holds they're even worse for your lungs, but YUM!). I only smoke when my husband or my girlfriend J. buys them. But then I will sit on my porch and suck them down like no-one's business.
I have not made caramels but I can point you to someone who does that sort of thing: my friend Paige (http://twitter.com/fjernsyn), who is a baker and candy-maker extraordinaire. Alternatively, any Martha Stewart recipe usually works out (perhaps http://www.marthastewart.com/recipes/caramel ?). Finally - allrecipes.com is a good resource for me in anything cooking-related. Find a recipe and make sure both the rating and the review numbers are high (like this one: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Chewy-Caramel/Detail.aspx) - then make sure to read a handful of reviews because sometimes the reviewers correct an obvious mistake in the recipe that hasn't been edited in the original copy. If that makes sense.
I am pretty sure caramel-making is difficult for some because it's candy-making which usually involves rather exact temperatures and putting things on stoves that can easily burn. So don't feel bad if you have trouble.
Thank you for your questions! -
Thank you! She isn't muscular. I can totally kick her ass. Actually... this is becoming less and less true. (We typically have periodical bloodthirsty battles ala the film Hot Rod).
Thank you for the borrowing offer. Cast/director extras fill me with anxiety for weird, stupid reasons I won't go into here. But maybe I'll make an exception, if it involves possible outtakes of Nathan Fillion looking sexy (and not disturbingly icky, as in the film).
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Kelly Hogaboom’s Bio
a one-track lover, down a two-way lane
