I thought about this one all day so I could think back really far. And what I came up with is that honestly, I can't think of one incidence where we fought or argued since our wedding over a year ago. If you're thinking, 'yeah, riiiiight', I don't blame you. It sounds pretty ridiculous to me too. But it's true.

We had our hardships. The toughest time we ever went through was three and a half years ago when we moved across the country to Vancouver. They aren't kidding when they say moving is one of life's top 5 most stressful experiences, and coupled with the fact that we would be officially moving in *together*, aaaand both looking for jobs, aaaaand both in a brand new city where we knew hardly anyone, well, it was tough. Thinking back on it, our disagreements centered around two things: money and roles. And by roles, I mean the sort of thing where I'd get all defensive and huffy when it came to what kitchen stuff went in what cupboard, because I had grown up in a house where the woman is in charge of the kitchen and the man stays out of it, so I guess I felt I had to defend my territory, so to speak. We did a lot of that back then.

The other rough patch that comes to mind was when the wedding planning started. I don't think I need to say much more about that, ha. You probably understand.

But once the wedding was planned and then over, we settled into a very relaxed sort of life. Our relationship and our life feels like a really really old and comfortable pair of favorite jeans. We truly don't fight about anything. Sure we get frustrated at each other, like when I procrastinate about filing our medical expenses and he once again leaves his socks strewn around the living room. But the thing is, rather than getting really mad about things, we joke about them. We tease each other endlessly and when something starts to annoy us, we flip it around into a funny situation somehow.

Mr Fink gets full credit for teaching me how to do this. I've always had a funny side but it used to come out much more rarely. I can be sort of intense and bossy-boots when left to my own devices (don't tell him I admitted that), but being around him has helped me to learn a kind of 'don't sweat the small stuff' attitude.

The other thing I'd attribute our peacefulness to is the fact that we are very honest with each other. We don't hide anything, whether it's bank accounts or insecurities or how we're feeling about each other. With nothing to hide, there's no room for resentment or imaginary walls to grow. When we have a conflict where we don't agree, we talk it out pretty calmly. Now that we're married, it's almost like this switch went off in our minds that changed everything slightly. Now it's like, we're in this together and the outcome of this (whatever we're discussing) is going to affect both of us so there's no advantage to "winning" an argument. That doesn't quite capture the essence of what I'm trying to say but it's the best I can do at the moment.

That's the best I can explain it. It definitely took time to get to this place - we've been together for over six years now. I'm sure that as life presents us with challenges we'll have to adapt but I think we've created a strategy that works for us and that will enable us to overcome a lot together.