As a former teacher, I'm proud to say I never puked IN class. The same cannot be said for my students. :-(

Is your dog a large Rottweiler? Yes? OK, here's what you do:

Take your dog and your infant baby (you have one of those, right?) to a large urban department store. (You will have to be clever to get the dog into the department store. But, if you really want to know, you'll find a way.)

Once inside the store, leave your baby in a stroller at the bottom of an escalator, and instruct your Rottweiler to "take care of the baby" while you go off to another floor to do some extensive shopping.

Does the dog:
* Get the baby out of the stroller without mauling it?
* Let the baby ride it like a horse?
* Know how to operate an elevator?
* Know where the toy section is?
* Know how to read, and how to choose good baby-books?
* Have opposable thumbs and good fashion sense, in order to help your baby try on some hats?
* Know how to operate a television?
*Carry a wallet, to pay for food when the baby gets hungry?

If your answer is "no" to any of the above, then, I'm sorry. You do not have a good dog.

I have the answer to that question around here somewhere... gimme a minute...

I believe it was the original Blues Brothers album. Or it might have been Steve Martin's "Let's Get Small" comedy album. I still have the original Blues Brothers on vinyl, but I don't play it too often.

The only valid reason to change your beliefs, IMO, is enlightenment. And enlightenment is hard to come by. But you can PRETEND to can change your religion in order to get a boyfriend, or a job, or to please your parents. Why not? It's all nonsense to me, anyway.

Freedom Fries!

Yes, yes I have have. It was fun fun.

6-6:30.

People had to meet in person; no online dating, no Facebook.
Guys had to buy dirty magazines; no alt.binaries.
Russians had to waste time in the military; no VK.
Sports fans had to watch highlights on the news or read the paper; no espn.com.
Ade had to play poker in person; no PokerStars.
Alec Baldwin had to play Scrabble in the presence of his opponent.
Etc.

I'm gonna defer to @timfbowen's superior knowledge on this one. What he said.

Thin Mints, because (a) you can freeze them for months and they're still awesome, (b) they're the best cookie to crumble up as a topping on vanilla ice cream, (c) no creme filling, and (d) they're THIN MINTS!

Few weeks back, in CO with @martincozzi for the boarding of the snow.

I love a spicy corn salsa!

Last time I watched Felix the Cat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGb6lP4FVeg

Play

"Jimmy, get off the roof! NOW!"

This is not a kid's movie, but it did scare the crap out of me...

When I was 14, my brother took me to a multi-plex theater in North Hollywood to see some movie. After that one ended, I wanted to sneak into the adjacent auditorium to see Halloween, which had just come out. My brother didn't like scary movies, so he said to go ahead without him, and he'd come pick me up when it was over. So I snuck in alone, and saw the last screening of the night.

When it was over, and I had the shit completely scared out of me, I called my brother from a payphone in the lobby and then waited outside for him. He made me wait a loooonnngggg time. Eventually, the theater closed and I was left standing out there in this big empty parking lot. It was after midnight, and dark, and scary as hell. I worked out my escape plans: "OK, if Michael comes at me from around that corner, I'll run over to that gas station. If he comes at me from THAT corner, I'll run into that Tiny Naylor's (24 hour coffee shop)." After about 15 minutes, which seemed like 15 hours, he showed up and took me home.

I mostly use Amazon.com. I like EVO.com for snow gear (because their customer service is the best). I like to browse BevMo.com (but I purchase everything in-store). And every once in a while, I'll buy something from eBay.com (although it gives me the creeps). Beyond that, I only make rare one-off purchase from other online merchants.