To be honest my first fantasy I remember was to be god. I thought being god was a position you could get to, like if you were a good pope then you had a chance at becoming the real big guy. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I responded god. Until it was explain to me god was god and no one else could be god. I think that's when I should have first known I was an atheist because I thought it was unfair that god would never retire.