Les Claypool, no doubt about it...

If you can find it, be my guest. I have no idea if he has one and I couldn't care less..
Background info is I think he is a spoilt brat. Not really worth bothering about...

It's not a properly structured answer, I'll admit that. I have a fair idea which spoilt little brat asked me that question, so it was more of a fragmented statement to him.
I doubt you're stupid (unless you're Joel Newton, which I get the feeling you may be), you just didn't know the background info, that's all...

Only if you first bring me..... A SHRUBBERY!!!!!!

Only if you send first...

Probably because you're a waste of space jerk who thinks the world owes them?
That or you're a plain old cunt.

No, Are you?

Every day I'm hustlin!!!

Because Mentok wills it so!

Hot rangas = so much win it's not funny.

Rob some stuff, do some looting and pillaging, and possibly steal a boat or a plane...

Long answer = no.
Short answer = .

Well, I was looking under the house the other day and I saw something sparkly in the corner, they could be hiding there...

I like to feel like I have a little protection around the crown jewels, so I'm going to say boxers and briefs for me.
For girls, I'm nto so much concerned about their levels of protection (unless the girl were to be my little sister or daughter, in which case nothing short of a hardened tungsten carbide chastity belt will suffice) so I will pick the g string or freemuff. Although, boyleg panties can be hot on girls. I'm happy with pretty much any choice of ladies undergarments, so long as they aren't fat or are wearing granny panties...

Right about now I'm betting you think I'm going to answer with a snappy "42" and then go on to indulge myself with how much better I am than your cat because I can read the late Douglas Adams' books and he/she can't because he/she's a cat.
Well, this is partially true, I can read and your cat, at least to my knowledge, can't. This puts me at a distinct advantage in knowing and explaining the meaning of life in a way that humans can understand.
If I were a cat the answer would be simple:
wake up every day, be fed something tasty, sleep on my owners clothes, scratch some stuff and chase small creatures, then go to sleep purring.
Good life being a cat, isn't it. Unless you're Schrödinger's cat, in which case you have the unpleasant misfortune to be both alive and dead at the same time.
I think 42 falls a bit short of the mark. Yes it's a well rounded and yet concise answer, but it leaves you sort of hanging doesn't it.
One needs to take into account human's need to secure happiness. I mean we bumble through life trying to make something of ourselves, working our buts off, not spending enough time on our hobbies or with loved ones, all for what? 42?
I don't think so.

I won't bore you with details but I have made an improvement on the original answer to the ultimate question, which better reflect's man's desire for happiness, without bloing things out of proportion or getting all high horsey (tho having a horse would most likely be a great deal of fun).

My answer is:

42, and a milkshake.

I drive the penultimate mazda, second only in class, style, performance and handling to the mighty pregnant rice bubble 121. Yes, I roll in the venerable and highly regarded powerhouse that is the 2002 323 wagon/hatch thingy...

Girls, enter via the back doors...

Yes, I have to say I was dissapointed at what your mum sent me back. She told me her body was athletic! Athletic dammit!!!

I think this question says more about you than it does about me. The deeper question here is which would you rather be, the finger or the bum? I am reminded of the theory of Schrödinger's cat, and put forth the suggestion that in the absence of any clear decision, you are in fact want to be both.
Now, can we have a cup of tea now that awkward question has been solved...

Hmmmmmm......



I'd whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth, whip my tail back and forth.



Then smack somebody in the back of the head at a supermarket who was generally being a shopping-douche.

I wish it were more popular so I could talk more shit.