so after having more trans people actually talking about their experiences, the number two best thing is NOT HAVING CIS PEOPLE SPEAK FOR US. there's a lot of that going on, and all you're doing is taking away the voices of actual trans people who can speak for themselves. it's like how cis actors are cast in all the trans roles in movies, even though there are trans actors out there struggling for work (and who are actually trans)? as WELL-INTENTIONED as people may be, their perspective is more limited than ours.

a dude emailed me about being in the trans panel he was leading at the penny arcade expo, and i looked at his website, which listed birdo and "cloud strife in a dress" as some of the greatest trans characters in videogames. i told him i wasn't comfortable appearing at that panel (or at pax, for a million other reasons) - maybe i should have? the resulting panel, despite having actual trans women present, still conflated intersex with trans and contained zero mention of trans masculinity or any color of genderqueerness.

unsurprisingly, every trans friend of mine who was at pax told me they avoided the panel. cis people can't be trusted to educate about trans people, even if their intentions are good, is what i guess i'm saying. ultimately the only way trans people will be better represented is if we're actually allowed to represent ourselves, and if cis people don't try and take that responsibility away from us.