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That's normal. But before you go ahead and do it, ask yourself: do you feel like dying? Once I realised my suicidal feelings were really completely separate from anything having to do with DEATH, things got better for me.
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Actually, I have a stumpy little five-foot-two vagina, not unlike Prince Rogers Nelson.
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because after a couple years of Jean Seberg (LOOK IT UP) i am beginning to pine for the 25 inches of hair on the 62-inch frame of my past. and expertise is the only way to ameliorate the yucky growing out phase.
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If you're asking if working for pay, per se, is very important to me, then no. It's not.
Isolating myself in the house is not appealing, of course... this is probably a universal opinion! If I were to win 100 million dollars, or have the good fortune to be supported by my husband as millions of women in eras past have been, then no prob, Bob.
What I want to do really has nothing to do with making money at all.
What I want to do is can tomatoes, and make art happen, and change the oil in my car, and bake fancy muffins for Miguel's community mental health staff meeting, and do exercise, and have your children over while you go on vacation, and facilitate everyone else's awesome life, and make shit happen in the community. Lots of shit.
I don't have to get paid for that. If we need money, I'll try to find the most fulfilling job possible. If not, I'll try to find the most fulfilling life possible. It's the same either way.
(disclaimer: this answer written with 5 beers worth of honesty, and completely unedited!) -
I fought HARD over the decision to surrender complete control of my life, to the degree that I even went to a therapist in the months surrounding our last Clearinghouse to work through my struggle. What I discovered in those sessions was that I wasn't going to break up with him. I just couldn't conceive of it.
When I met Miguel, I wasn't looking for anything other than a couple hours out of the house. After I became his girlfriend, marriage didn't occur to me for quite some time. But I kept choosing him. I was having such a good time and our relationship had become its own organism, the growth & development of which was too fascinating to me to abandon. I got that job at Imago, I got promoted, I bought the Specialty-Import Smart Fortwo 450 (original body style) of my dreams, and the universe had made its decision. I was staying.
So once I was convinced I was staying, marriage was the logical next step. We were already a family, there was no reason not to acknowledge that with a legal contract. I've read advice that says "the right time to get married is when you feel like getting married would solve a problem" and that's exactly how I felt. He had become, entirely accidentally, the most important person in my life, and the thought of being hit by a bus and being in the hospital without him was unbearable.
That's all marriage is, really: a legal acknowlegement that you're family. It's baffling to me that any pair of longtime partners would choose to reject that. It's not about one's sexual orientation, it's not about what one does alone or with third parties. It's about trusting your most treasured person with your wishes, your resources, the control over your life.
We chose to have our wedding to coincide with our move to California as a sort of reference to the weddings of my immediate maternal line: my grandmother chose to marry my grandfather when he learned he would be relocated to Peru, and my mother chose to marry my father when he learned he would be relocated to Moses Lake, WA (where I was born 5 years later.) -
In general, this is a question about favorites, which I have never been comfortable claiming; The experience of liking is so much more nuanced than that. Maybe forcing myself to compile a simple list of favorites would be easier; the desert island in the question is throwing me off. For example, my biggest quibble is that I don't know the duration of my visit to the island! That would influence my choices more than any other detail!
But it's not like the question was designed to be taken literally. I know that; I have been refining my list of "Desert Island Discs" since learning of the concept many years ago, but I still don't have many answers. The only thing I'm sure about is the album "Loveless".
As for books & DVDs, the idea of rereading or rewatching anything is so foreign to me that I wouldn't even know where to start.
And also, how big is this island? Why would I want to be consuming media in lieu of exploring & building forts?! Introverts don't need media! -
FIRST? Probably dinner out and the services of a lawyer!
But seriously,
1. The scheduled maintenance for my car
2. A freaking haircut!
3. The services of a landscaper to help me rip out my yard and install raised beds
4. The services of a personal trainer, and maybe also a nutritionist
5. Large shelving units for my kitchen
Long term plans would include buying, renovating, & furnishing a home in Berkeley, Oakland, or San Francisco, and an extended trip (of course!) -
He's only gotten more funny. He gets so much feedback about what works and what doesn't!
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Virgil "the World's Most Expensive Snack" just got about a thousand dollars more expensive, so that makes it even harder to justify. But my husband, the luchador known as El Spendo, just got his hotel room for BGG-con, so basically I need a fundamental personality change.
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It hasn't been the right time because there has been so much uncertainty about the future. But things are starting to fall into place since Miguel got that offer from L'Chaim - they want to fast-track him into running the place - it seems like their goal is to end up with Community Mental Health Head Boss For Life. (Hopefully they will make an adequate salary offer so he can accept it. Ha!) With Miguel in a Life Job, I can start gain acceptance about anchoring ourselves, and a dog is a big anchor.
The other issue is that I want another parrot ALMOST as bad as I want a dog, and I think the parrot will have to come first. -
I like to describe my interior decorating goals thusly:
"Imagine it's 1964, you're a kid, and we're your coolest aunt & uncle."
I could describe my ideal life similarly, modelling it on the lives of my great-grandparents after their retirement, the lives of some of my high-school teachers, adults who retained their personhood by doing what they were interested in without caring about the time of life during which it was undertaken.
Mostly this means I want to be a person who does things.
The idea that one busts his (traditionally his) ass for X years, then at 65 adjourns to the garden or cruise ship, feels unnatural and unappealing to me. My ideal adult life would include working for pay part-time, to facilitate "extracurricular" work in the community (volunteering, doing theatre), unpaid work at home (extensive gardening, canning, baking, building, etc), and a healthy audience habit.
We will have 2 parrots and a cat-sized black dog. We will have a close relationship with my sister & her eventual family & kids, ideally in the same city.
This, of course is describing an ideal future situation. My ideal contemporary self is someone who is doing a better job of getting into that situation. I was delighted with my progress during our last year in Portland.
The answer to this question is mostly "have/do" because pretty much all my "be"s are fine. There isn't much I would change about my personality; I like that part of myself.
Well, except for shyness. I've come further than you'll ever know already, from "can't order fast food" to "have to take a deep breath before approaching an acquaintance," but I could certainly use more practice.
And I'd love to be 137lbs again. None of my Great-Grandma's clothes fit me anymore. -
Who keeps asking me these generic-ass questions? A slogan? Really?!
But since you asked, I am going to go in the shower, then to the library to get a book I ordered about making oneself feel better about making unconventional life-path decisions, then to the seed store to buy at least 2 types of flower seeds, then I am going to come home & plant them. -
There was no one moment, more like a series of days or weeks over which I subtly realised:
This guy is not mean!
He has not said anything mean to anyone or anything judgemental about anyone. He hasn't gotten angry when another emotion or GOOD COMMUNICATION would be more appropriate. And I believe he isn't going to start. Hostility, derision, and contempt are not part of his universe. -
Because I never figured out a way to reject people I didn't feel like talking to without feeling bad about it.
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Of course not. Is this even a real question?
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To find fulfillment as much as possible.
And ambassadorship, if that can be a quest as opposed to a state of mind. I believe it's my responsibility to act as ambassador to every group to which I could conceivably belong: it's my responsibility not to make short people, noseringed people, introverts, queer women who married men, etc look bad.
This is part of a more overarching philosophy that it is my responsibility not to make anyone's day or life worse. -
O man, I used to love this kind of puzzle. We used to do them before the bell rang in my 1st, 2nd, & 3rd grade classes.
Also, how does one come in third in Chess?
Also also, someone should teach those guys some better games. -
Yes, but I do better alone or with female partners. The Tyranny of Hydraulics is a factor otherwise.
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Everything. Most things. But mostly relationships and design; interactions between people & objects, spaces, each other, themselves. The whys of effectiveness. The very basest reasons for anything (usually POWER & its analogs.)
Or, more simply, for example, "hyperorgasmia" is the ability to have copious amounts of orgasms; the meaning of "hyperfascination" can be inferred.
As such it's also a reference to my condition: basically, my whole central nervous system is cranked up like an HDR photograph. "Hyper_____" is the only world I know.
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Sidonie’s Bio
Eviscerating!
