the kazoo

just kidding i can't even do that

i want to tell you a funny story formspring

last week i was at my grandparents house in the middle of nowhere (literally, civilization is 8 miles away) and i was on the computer at night. i'm sitting there doing usual computer stuff and all of sudden this GIANT BUG LANDS ON MY LEG

IT FELL FROM THE HEAVENS OR SOMETHING I DON'T EVEN KNOW BUT IT SCARED ME SO MUCH I JUMPED UP FROM MY CHAIR, DROPPED THE LAPTOP AND SCREAMED

my mom was in the adjoining den and she jumped up and i ran to her and was still screaming and i held onto her and she's just like, "WTF IS GOING ON ASHLEY"

and my grandma runs in like, "WHAT HAPPENED"

and i'm still screaming and i don'T RESPOND JUST RUN TO THE BATHROOM AND GET A WASHCLOTH AND SPEND THE NEXT 5 MINUTES CRYING AND WASHING MY LEG WHERE THE BUG LANDED ON ME

I

DON'T

LIKE

BUGS

an harry styles ashley and louis tomlinson sandwich

omg what's wrong with me

wow formspring do those brownies have weed in them god

who do you think i am zayn jeez

does it involve getting out bed, getting dressed, or not using the internet

then no

being annoying but i don't think it's hidden

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i spend the day in my pj's, on tumblr, and eating all the food in the house while crying over jily and those 5 homosexuals

hogwarts

wow it's like you don't know me formspring

yes.

can i dance though?

no.

sometimes i stare at myself in the mirror and say out loud

"why the fuck did you start liking one direction"

do you know how emotionally confused i am right now

i bought 5 songs off of justin beiber's new album

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING I MUST HAVE BEEN HIGH OR SOMETHING

do you know who walk the moon is

no you don't

so go find out

i usually read fiction but i always enjoy a good memoir once in a while.

um, maybe. i would rather use actual dye instead of kool-aid because the dye has been tested to not harm your hair.

you mean slutsville

yes

harry styles exists isn't that enough proof that aliens are real

the s.s. jily and sirius would be the captain and harry would be the co-captain and as i steer the boat through the harry potter fandom sirius and harry would pull a rose and jack and sirius would support harry as he stands at the front of the boat and screams, "I'M FLYING!"