HockeyJobu offers luck to your hockey team - for a price. What do you seek - and what do you offer?
Recent Responses
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Now, you're talking. HockeyJobu is very pleased with your offering - despite your plea on behalf of The City That Invented Misplaced Hockey Hubris. You will indeed see glory come to The Arena Filled With Suits. HockeyJobu just is not certain that it will come while He Who Will Not Tie His Tie is in control.
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Consider yourself lucky that the other guy made an offering. This is insulting.
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Players Lights...interesting choice. HockeyJobu has not had poutine in a while so, while he samples your finest, he'll watch goals rain down from Gaborik, Richards and company faster than expletives from a Tortorella locker room speech.
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Would you accept a one-game suspension?
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HockeyJobu appreciates your desperation, but save your offerings for next season.
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The team in The Abandoned City have already traded for one player, but is it That One Player? HockeyJobu doubts it. Your beverage selection is acceptable, but cheap cigars? That only guarantees a playoff appearance. Send some real cigars next time, and then we'll discuss helping your team avoid Nashville in the playoffs.
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Not without an appropriate offering of love for HockeyJobu, no.
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Cajun rub wings...mmmm....that might put the Red Wings on Captain Columbus' list!
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Not without an appropriate offering of love for HockeyJobu, no.
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All FOUR horsemen? That is indeed generous. The offseason in Ohio's capital city surely will be tumultuous - you just may get your wish.
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HockeyJobu don't critique boys' photos.
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Your offering is high quality but rather conservative. Be a little more creative next time. Still, a good bottle of Cuervo can't be poo-poo'd. HockeyJobu gives the Team from the Haunted Arena a win or two in gratitude for your sincere gift. (Besides, when your team starts out 0-7-1, is there an "on track" to get back to?)
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While the Pennsylvania Nectar (a paradox if there ever was one) is now available locally, it would take an Opus One Magnum at minimum to persuade Hockey Jobu to even consider working on the Blue Jackets at this point.
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HockeyJobu is not necessarily a radical Muslim revolutionary - however the thought counts and 15 "virgens" could run a mean hibachi. He likes that the Manager Known As Niles has awoken from his 700-day slumber and decided to improve his competitive environment. Playoffs are a very real possibility.
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Keep your pucks for your undermanned hockey squad...and your drinks for yourself. You'll need both of them this season!
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Your offerings bear a striking resemblance to the object of your request, yet HockeyJobu believes that barrels of rum will need to be consumed on Nationwide Boulevard before The Mustachioed Unit sees the light of day again. But might <a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-T24X5OARRiE/TWhemOvZweI/AAAAAAAAAgw/qRvxc_nHySQ/s512/boomer%252520Tshirt.jpg">this moment of glory</a> suffice?
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Your offer is adequate, but HockeyJobu required a Czech-mate in addition. Good fortune to you, Jakub, may your long, flowing locks of ABBA-love do you well in The Land of Cheese Steaks. (And Hockey Jobu is VERY pleased to deliver The Long Overdue Top Line Center to his friends in Columbus!)
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Nowhere close. Besides, what has he of the "We reproduce hockey players like rabbits" family done to deserve such a fate? The fans in Land of Hockey BBQ need their captain...and HockeyJobu doesn't mind a little BBQ on occasion.
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Poor Garth. Poor, poor Garth. Your team plays in a rat-trap, and your offerings to HockeyJobu reflect your continued lack of good taste. Another sign of this poor behavior was the 15-year millstone (and a fragile millstone, at that!) that you put around your franchise's neck. Go cry in your cheap beer and gnaw on your processed half-hors d'oeuvre - and don't come back without a much more interesting offering.
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Hockey Jobu’s Bio
Bring chicken legs, rum and cigars. Jobu offers good luck for your hockey team if he is satisfied with your offering
