I heard it's a dish best served cold.

So, revenge is ice cream.

You look nervous. Shady even. Too trusting. Too obvious that you're hiding something. Like you're about to say:

"These are the train tracks where I left that little girl; I left her to die. Sitting here helps me sleep at night."
*Ka-chack!* The picture was taken.

I wouldn't let my kids near you... If I had kids... If I married even... Which I will... Eventually...
http://tinyurl.com/3s7mv4x

Inspiration?

Inspiration is when you're inspired by personal events.
Inspiration is when you're inspired by little, mundane objects around you. Inspiration derives from entirely irrelevant things and launches your mind off into a series of thoughts, leading entirely elsewhere.

INSPIRATION IS NOT COPYING SOMEONE ELSE'S WORK.

People are not inspired by J.K. Rowling's storyline to write their own stories about wizards and witches.

No, that's plagiarism.

"I enjoy letting people give me ideas, then write short stories FOR THEM out of the ideas."

Okay, let's say I tell a little Asian kid to make me a sweater. Then, I stitch my name into the sweater and publicize that I made it. When the boy is pissed off, I'll smile and say, "I'm doing this FOR YOU."

I just replicated what you said into a scenario. Didn't make any sense? Then, I hate to break it to you, neither did your sentence.

"I can make my own stories, but it's not as enjoyable."

So, it's "not enjoyable" when you produce an original piece? Instead, you find plagiarizing to be much more entertaining.

BRAVO! You're an unoriginal shit.

Mom says I'm not allowed to go to clubs or bars.
http://tinyurl.com/5rp44y5

I can't understand you. I don't speak Hawaiian.

To replace me, they would need these mandatory skills:

- Hawk eyes.
http://tinyurl.com/3quhhkq

-The ability to lick their nose in case they get a really big milk-mustache.
http://tinyurl.com/4y93clp

-Camouflage.
http://tinyurl.com/43gsuus

-Stealth.
http://tinyurl.com/3zs3zdo

-The ability to dance like they motherfuckin' own the place.
http://tinyurl.com/4ybythc

-They need to be expressive.
http://tinyurl.com/5udltkl

-Seductive.
http://tinyurl.com/3hakmx3

-Photogenic.
http://tinyurl.com/3mngvcx

-Have active chest hair.
http://tinyurl.com/6bh4rll

-Ambidextrous
http://tinyurl.com/5rqs858

-(Optional) A mustache.
http://tinyurl.com/68or97q

These are just the some of the "baseline skills" needed to become my replacement. If that, alone, is too hard for someone then they could always bring me Nutella and we could discuss their starting salary.

Nutella; it solves everything.
http://tinyurl.com/6dcgwhb

Your city.

And I'd pack binoculars...

Do you have a window in your bathroom?
http://tinyurl.com/3ja7qph

http://youtu.be/P3ALwKeSEYs

Play

The PS3, hands down, because it has so many cords to stimulate. (That's what she said.)

http://tinyurl.com/3zomjgd

Whoa! Hey there, pretty lady.
http://tinyurl.com/3ppez5p

Are those words coming out of your mouth? I couldn't notice. I must've been paying attention elsewhere.
http://tinyurl.com/44jwuz8

Does my sexy profile picture not give it away? Clearly you need more renditions of super sexy pictures (just to be on the safe side.)

http://tinyurl.com/44t4r9m

http://tinyurl.com/3sar5ag

http://tinyurl.com/3bc4cfa

http://tinyurl.com/3ex7e3q

http://tinyurl.com/3aww5sl

I googled "Sexy Bollywood Actors" to get those.

In case you didn't catch my heavy sarcasm, let me rephrase it for you: OBVIOUSLY I'M A GIRL, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING ME?! HONESTLY! THIS CHANGE HAPPENED LIKE OVERNIGHT! DOES YOUR MEMORY ONLY TRACK BACK FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS?!

You've let me down, followers. You've let me down.

http://tinyurl.com/3dtobmn

Where do I even begin?

This question makes me feel like I'm taking a creepy survey online - on some shitty dating website - with this guy staring at me on the other side of the screen: http://tinyurl.com/3wfhwqx

Hang on. Let me wear my seatbelt.

I might very well have just been blown away by grammar.

http://tinyurl.com/3wloax3

I offer the rain my dancing booty.
http://tinyurl.com/3ptjsbq
The clouds are pleased.

http://tinyurl.com/3cwycbu

http://tinyurl.com/3l2qzvx

You stole this question from Alyssa. I will be informing the internet police about this.

http://tinyurl.com/3osuytz

Okay. So you want to convince me, that God is in fact real, out of fear. You want a depiction of Hell to frighten me into praying; out of fear that I that I might end up there someday.

You don't actually believe in God, do you? You're just afraid of what He might do to you if you don't believe. That's not faith. That is fear.

"Will there been an afterlife, I wonder? Choirs of angels? Or a fiery pit? One unlearns these falsehoods over time, but the child who learnt to fear hell is never really gone." (Jacob Hargreave, Crysis 2)

It's funny how the fear of hell is linked with kids, with childishness. As for me, I decided a long time ago to live without fear. If God is real, if God does punish me, then that was just a miscalculation on my part. I wouldn't be afraid of fate, like how you are now. Once we learn to live with certain choices (with our decisions), we also learn to endure the repercussions that those choices bring back.

Don't let fear control you.

What the --! WHO?!

Is you an ice cream?! :O

....

Prepare to be violated. I'm going to lick you all over. =_=