-
All responses Most smiled responses
-
Haha, it's blue. Usually medium - deep blues in particular. Purple is a close second.
-
Hm… well, for me personally, in my current situation, it’s fairly easy to respond to. The assumption that just because I’m asexual I won’t “put out” is bad in the first place, and depending on the situation I may or may not correct it. Usually if I do correct it, I will say something like, “You shouldn’t assume that all asexuals don’t want to have sex, some of them are sexually active, for whatever reason.” That way they’re free to make whatever assumption they want about my own sex life without directly asking me. Then I will point out that they’re just flat-out wrong. Being engaged myself and having had my partner plainly state that while she would like to have sex with me, she would still want to be in a romantic relationship with me even if we never had sex (and indeed, we’ve gone long stretches of time without), it’s fairly easy for me to counter these arguments with personal experience. But for someone without that kind of personal experience, I understand it can be much harder! I’ve had those worries that nobody would ever want to date me because I’m asexual myself. I used to try to keep in mind examples of successful asexual couples that I knew of from browsing AVEN, but there’s also other hard evidence that you can find to contradict this idea. For example, the very existence of Celibate Passions, an online dating site specifically geared towards people who want celibate romance and friendships, disproves the notion that nobody would want to date a person who doesn’t want to have sex. You can link to it as proof, and if people continue to insist that nobody is interested against hard evidence contradicting them, then they are being unreasonable and it’s totally fair to point that out. If the conversation continues to devolve—and I know that some people would even go so far as to predict eventual relationship failures, which they see as somehow inevitable—I’d just advise you to calmly tell them they have no basis to be making such claims and that they should drop it. If they won’t, feel free to take whatever steps you need to in order to get them to leave you alone.
-
…Yes, dear. That is indeed a burning question. And one which I am not qualified to answer. I’m glad I know it’s not someone actually looking for one!
-
I have heard some people report “becoming asexual” before, however I’m unclear on what exactly they mean by that. I do think that sexuality in general has at least some degree of fluidity, but it’s not the type of thing you can consciously influence. You can’t “become asexual” by sheer force of will, and people who report having done so likely do not mean asexual in the same way that we mean it. I think those people are talking about being celibate, and not realizing that there’s a difference between celibacy and asexuality (covered elsewhere on this blog ad nauseum, so I won’t go over it again). There are, however, a few people within the asexual community who used to identify as sexual and have said that they did feel sexual attraction prior to a certain point in their lives, at which point they say they became asexual. I’m recalling some very old forum posts on sites I’ve long since stopped visiting, so I can’t give any specific examples (and for privacy reasons it probably wouldn’t be best to do so anyway), but as far as I can recall, most of them felt that they were on the low end of the scale of sexual attraction or somewhere in the gray area between asexual and sexual. We tend to tread cautiously in cases where a person says that they’ve had a sudden, drastic drop in their level of interest in sex, as that can be a symptom of a number of different health conditions. If that sounds like you, then it’s a good thing to get checked out.
-
Posted a long response to this on the blog, too long to copy & paste: http://grasexuality.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/qa-viii/
-
Actually, I already use that term! :) The way I define it, sensual attraction is about wanting that skin-to-skin feeling, wanting to indulge in something that engages the senses without necessarily being sexual with one another. It’s not so much just wanting to cuddle, but more about wanting to be close in a sufficiently epicurean way. Like lying close while feeding each other grapes, for example.
-
Thanks, I'm trying! It's sometimes hard to keep up with blog stuff and RL stuff, but anyway, I'm glad you enjoy it :)
-
asked by DrkChief
(cont. from previous) What is your relationship like? Are you monogamous? How has your partner responded? How comfortable are you with sexual activities? Like, is sex totally off the table here or are you okay with it sometimes? Etc. That kind of context will help me understand your situation better, so my advice will be more helpful. I suspect it'll be too much info to provide on formspring, so you can email me directly at grasexuality [at] gmail [dot] com. Sorry for the delay, I will do my best to help. :)
-
I'll be out of town for this weekend, so I probably won't be able to get to this for several days, but I just wanted to make sure you know that I'm not ignoring it. (There's a Q&A post I've already written that's scheduled to go up in my absence.) In the meantime, if you could provide a little more context, that would help me to answer the question better. For example... (cont.)
-
Well, you see, asexuals are the opposite of sexuals. Therefore, they masturbate at the exact opposite angle. In fact, they masturbate upside down. In the air. Yes, they masturbate in the open air, hanging upside down from an airplane. Setting up for their masturbatory sessions is a pain in the ass, so they don't do it too often.
-
My girlfriend is certainly not a myth, THAT'S for sure!
-
Loading...Elizabeth
Elizabeth’s Bio
I'm a 20-something asexual woman who is partnered to a bisexual trans woman, so everyone who doesn't know better thinks we're lesbians. I also have sex sometimes, and people like to ask me how that works. I'll answer all questions asked here on my blog.
