Any time, really. Just make sure you're kind about it, and give your dog a hug and a snack often.

IT IS TOO LATE! I have dishonored your expectations and must suffer. Also I am now a ghost that lives in the internet. It's scary here.

I have broken your heart and for this I must take my own life. Farewell.

Dammit do I look like wikipedia to you? And if so, will you please donate to me?

Fucked if I know. It might be some reddit thing? But I straight up don't care because I'm kind of tired of "You like a thing? WOW I like a thing too? Let's base our entire interpersonal relationship based on this and also run it into the ground for everyone else at the same time!!!!" kind of approach to liking things. It's acceptable when you're a gawky teenager because your whole world is a goddamned mess at all times and you have a whole mess to learn about yourself, your peers, and the world around you before you can make real multi-layered communication a regular thing. However I see this sort of thing most from grown-ass adults and it's sort of mind-blowing that an entire generation has just opted out of evolving beyond the phase where you talk about nothing but television and the latest gimmicky key terms that everybody is all gaga about.

I think narwhals are kind of neat animals, and I (like many non veg*n folks) do enjoy bacon from time to time. However I do not need to turn these words into club-like signifiers which I use to beat people over the head with, as though repeating them enough times is what turns them into a grand joke. I've found that repeating things over and over creates a state of mind in which the repeated word no longer has any meaning whatsoever. I don't want to live in a world where narwhals and bacon mean nothing when I hear them. Likewise every other term that's evolved to a status where nonsense insertion is not so much accepted as expected.

I guess it's different when you're in on the joke. I know for a fact I participate in some idiot in-joke shit and should have this response read back to me by someone with a very disappointed look on their face to better appreciate my own hypocrisy. Still, I feel sort of like these in joke items I do take part in are largely based on uncommon things to begin with, things with malleable meaning that are ripe for re-appropriation, rather than relatively common things. Neologisms and loan words and such. Narwhals and bacon have both been around a long-ass time. Maybe there's no difference at all, maybe it doesn't matter how old or established a word is and I'm running around with a huge stick up my ass for no good reason whatsoever. But I think I've decided that I'm going to own that curmudgeonly feeling, instead of reject it out of fear of being wrong. So yeah, anyway. I don't know and fuck it for being ridiculous in a way I find unfunny.

WHEN QUIT RUINING FUCKING EVERYTHING GODDAMN.

That's sweet but I believe monarchy is an awful system. Plus, I've got this long term boyfriend and we've talked about opening things up before but I don't think we're really ready for that level of challenge. Besides, invisible asker, what if I'm not into you? I mean maybe if we went on a few dates and I got to know you better but I dunno.

Why?! Why couldn't she have just told me herself! I was going to take her to Cancun! Now... Now I just don't know. I need a drink.

Nope! :D Kill all men!

About two weeks ago! We had a "pajama day" at work as a sort of morale booster cuz the sales team was working double shifts to try to shore up our figures for the month.

nope! I know it's one of those common high school novels but I missed that part of high school and/or went to a school that didn't use that book.

Not knowing you or her I can't give any meaningful advice. Although most people enjoy flowers, because flowers are pretty and usually smell nice. Hopefully she doesn't have allergies.

Try sleeping on your side, you'll be less likely to roll your head so close to your pits.

I kind of hate when people do this shit.

This is basically a daily occurrence so I couldn't say exactly when the last time was, because if I called out everyone who said things that were offensive or hurtful to me or others it probably wouldn't be long until I got that hermitage I keep saying I want so badly.

Read books.

We had a good run. I love you.

Measure, treasure, leisure (if you pronounce it leh-sure rather than lee-zure).

I'll let someone else conduct that experiment. My farts are awful.

Giving it some thought, probably too much thought, I'd think I'd go with the Serenity/Firefly universe (just don't drop me off on Miranda plx). It seems to me like I'd have the easiest time assimilating there, since there's no guarantee in this scenario that I'd suddenly be catapulted to hero status or gain any special abilities or anything. At worst I'd have to learn some Chinese and up my farming skills to live a decent life on some backwater colonial planet. It seems like things are sort of tough all over, and there's definitely an oppressive government figure in play, but at least I'm used to that. Plus, hey, space travel!

Weighing in against other well-known sci-fi options: Nobody knows what an average Joe Nobody's life is like in the Star Trek universe, except for the peoples they periodically go paternally antagonize as "undeveloped" or what have you. Star Wars seems pretty fucking dystopian on the whole, and the only glimpse into regular life take place largely on a forbidding desert planet and with the freaking Ewoks. Although Endor does seem pretty idyllic in quieter scenes, it'd probably get pretty lonely because I don't feel like learning to speak teddy bear any time soon. The Alien universe is right out. The Riddick universe has that one really neat city, but you don't get to experience much of it before it gets traumatized by the main plot, plus there seem to be an awful lot of for-profit prisons and I can't get with that. Blade Runner seems like a pretty damn glum place to live and I never liked city life that much anyway.