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This question is pretty loaded:
Firstly, it assumes that feminists must work outside of the home.
Secondly, it implies that taking care of children isn't work.
Which also leads me to wonder if you think that the nanny would be doing "work" or not...
Anyways. As a feminist, I think that raising children IS an important job, and definitely a lot of work. It's undervalued, underappreciated, and an invaluable service to society.
That being said, it's incredibly expensive to put two children in daycare. I would basically be working 40+ hours a week, just to pay for someone else to "work" with my kids. I would then come home and have a ton of work to do at home (unless I'm also hiring a housekeeper and chef...)
There are numerous other issues with this, like that childcare workers are definitely not receiving a living wage; plus, the values that I would like passed on to my children might not be the same values that they learn from someone else.
Theoretically, I feel that men and women should be able to choose whether to stay home and work with their children, or to work outside of the home. There should be options for job-sharing, etc. But that's not reality.
ALL OF THAT to say that not only am I working by raising children, I am also a property manager for a vacation home, a doula, and a blogger. And, I am in the process of being hired for a part time job.
I'll cut this off now. But I am sure there is a lot more that I could say. -
It was passed down to me from my parents. However, I see quite a few similar ones on Craigslist pretty frequently!
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Whenever my husband wants to.
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I don't really make a point to dress them in "gender neutral" clothing...for one thing, I find that when most people say gender neutral, they mean boyish and I have two boys.
That being said, I don't really dress my kids in clothes that are usually assigned for the opposite gender. I mean, they wear pink diapers because I don't believe that color has gender, BUT their dad would be pretty annoyed if I put a dress on them. I'm not completely opposed to it. But it would be confusing for people, and most people would probably just think it's strange. And I wouldn't want my child to pick up on others perceptions at an age that they can't understand that or can really make their own decision about it.
Plus, most of their clothes are gifts, so they wear a lot of what other people pick out. When I do pick things out, I generally go for things that aren't hyper-masculine. But, I generally have more of a concern about things like branding and characters on clothes.
And Dmitri has started asserting his own opinion about his clothes choices recently too. I am sure that will continue to grow and he will have more control over what he wears. = ) -
Interesting question. I definitely had to think about this!
Honestly, no, I definitely do not regret having children.
Do I sometimes wish that we had waited several years when we were more economically secure, or out of school, or what have you? Sure. But, chances are, considering our career choices, we would have had to wait a very, very, very long time for this to happen. Maybe even too long for us to even have our own children. So it's kind of hard to speculate about this.
Sometimes I wish that I lived near family that could help out more, and I wish that we had more money, or at least, enough to pay the bills. And I wish that it were easier for me to find a job where I could balance being a parent with providing for our family. But that's just how it is.
I think, in the end, having children has changed me so much, and in my opinion, for the better. And I enjoy my kids so much, so, no, I really don't regret it! -
Yes, I think so.
Our society is not set up for egalitarian relationships. We are not taught how to have egalitarian relationships. And so, if that is one's goal, I think it's a huge challenge to work towards that. You have to fight your upbringing, societal norms, your family, and yourselves.
I think once children are added in the mix, it becomes even more of a challenge.
I am hopeful that it can be achieved. I'm just not sure how yet.
But one of the most important steps is to have a man that is willing to works towards an egalitarian relationship, is open to communicating, and values you and your opinions, thoughts, and feelings. = ) -
Due to legality issues, I don't feel comfortable posting this on Formspring. If you would like to talk more to me about it, you can send me an email. If it gives you any direction, my midwife was based out of Atlanta, and as far as I know, so are all of the other home birth midwives. So maybe try searching around there!
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I think you are referring to my link bar. I had it custom designed by With Two Cats! = )
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Thanks for the link up! I would love to see your table! = )
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It's actually a stencil! It's Olympic paint color Emerald Isle and the stencil is from Sunny's paints. : )
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Well, not sure how much control we have over the girl and the eyes part... ; ) But we hope to have more kids at some point! I love babies! = )
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Hi Rebecca,
I would love to help you find inspiration for your guest room. I offer a mood board service, however, if you would like an in-person consultation, we can arrange that as well! How about you send me an email and we can figure out what would work best for you! My email is thefeministhousewife [at] gmail [dot] com ! = ) -
Thanks so much for recommending this! I had not heard of it...I will definitely check it out. = )
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I like most colors! But turquoise is probably my favorite. I also like a lot of different color combinations...like grey and yellow and brown and pink....etc.
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We have picked out a first name, but haven't decided on the middle name yet!! We are probably going to wait until the birth to tell the name, because we aren't 100% sure yet! = )
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For the best result, I would recommend using a no-sand primer (it can be found in the paint section of most home improvement stores!), and then applying paint. I didn't want to sand mine because it had so many different grooves and was a weird shape. = )
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Honestly, we do not have a lot of time for socializing!
Our closest friends are not anywhere near our age, but they have a child that is the same age as Dmitri. I have learned that it is not so much your age, but really, where you are at in life (and other factors) that affects friendships.
I think that it's hard for us to find friends though, because we are at a strange place in life for our ages!
David has friends that are his age, that aren't married, and don't have kids. I think that I find it harder to connect to people who do not have kids (not that I cannot at all...but just on an everyday/close friendship level), because I am pregnant/breastfeeding/ etc. And I cannot just "leave" that for a while and pretend that I'm not!
This is something I have been thinking about a lot since my 21st birthday is coming up! Honestly, I never wanted a "typical" college life. I've been in college for 5 years, and the first couple years I enjoyed a somewhat more care-free lifestyle. Sure, sometimes I'd like a "day-off" to relax or wish that our lives weren't as stressful, but I'm not really a big party-er.
Hope that answers your question- it was a good one! -
I use Fuzzibunz diapers.
I use cloth diapers when I'm out, and even when I'm traveling. I just bring a grocery bag (or some people use wet bags, I just don't have one), to put the dirty diaper in and take them in when I get home. It's really never been a big deal at all...except perhaps one time when my son had an explosive diaper. But that's a pain whether you are using cloth or disposable! -
Honestly, I'm not sure how many kids we will have! We plan to play it by ear. We aren't sure where we will be in the next few years, a lot is up in the air with graduating, graduate school, and other career plans.
I've always wanted my kids to be close in age, but it's also really hard too! I'm not sure that I would want a LOT of kids close in age. But I'm excited about having my two boys close in age. -
Cloth diapering is super easy! Sure, I can't just toss a diaper in the trash can (which will then end up in a landfill for hundreds of years), but it literally only takes me about 10 minutes every two days to wash them.
I usually wash them seperately, but I will throw in dish cloths and socks, and things that I need washed frequently.
My main reasons for doing it? Well, there are a lot!!! Firstly, I think about my childrens' future, and my grandchildren's future. The disposables that I'd be using on my child now, would long, long out live them. And the idea that its just sitting somewhere, taking up space for hundreds of years is crazy! It seems irresponsible to be taking actions that have long term affects, but without even thinking of the consequences.
But there are other incentives too! I will have spent less than $200 / child to diaper them for 3 years in cloth diapers. Disposables on the other hand, would ring in at nearly $3,000 PER child! Ack!
I also like knowing that I'm not putting chemicals and plastics on my child's skin 24/7 for three years.
A final incentive: I have never, ever had a leak with a cloth diaper. That is definitely not the case when I have used disposables a few times - even the really expensive disposables leak occasionally!
I think our parenting strategy comes from a mixture of places. Some comes from reading books, other comes from our own experiences, seeing what works/did not work for other people, and then doing what works for us. I would probably fit into what is called the "attachment parenting" movement. But, I think my biggest goal is to make sure that my child feels loved!
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Caroline’s Bio
A student, a mother, a wife, a blogger, a feminist.
