Luckily, @mcardinal told me I should be here.

And that's word play should always be avoided.

I never did find out what Martin was so excited about. http://www.formspring.me/elinar2/q/304739514071396702?profile_shuffle

You, Sir, are a hero.

This question is way better if you read "felons" as "falcons."

D. All of the above.

I once texted one of my university instructors "I love you" accidentally. There was also emoji hearts. So embarrassing. :(

Broken is a massive understatement.

No. It makes you a good mom. I wish someone had had the decency to cancel the many less flattering portraits taken of me when I was young.

We have not yet met. We must!

Winter: snow fort/tunnel construction, amateur figure skating, throwing snowballs at cars (and maybe people)
Summer: Wet Banana Slide! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL2hYF2a2aY
If Banana Slide no longer exists, I will be a bit sad. The neighbor's had an awesome slope in their backyard that was the perfect slide location—except for the sprinkler system, which could clip you in the bottom. Watch out!

Play

This is clearly leading to a invitation to a swinger's party. No thanks.

Don't these children already have names?

Is it teleportation? Please say yes.

Yeah, but they're those crappy safety scissors kids have to use.

I join the riot police squad, but discover it lacks excitement and baton-beatings I had hoped for?

You've come to the right place:

Great view, posh, and pretty quiet, for a bar: The View @ Marriott Marquis Hotel (top floor)
Pirates of the Caribbean (for adults): Smuggler's Cove on Gough and Mcallister
Tiki lounge singers, thunder and lightening, kitschy greatness: Tonga Room & Hurricane Bar @ The Fairmont
1930s Speakeasy with awesome drinks: Bourdon & Branch (see website for entry password)
Reliable dive bar, nice patio, best Bloody Marys: El Rio on Mission and Precita Ave.
Cool atmosphere, decent drinks, you can pretend to be Jack Kerouac: Vesuvio on Columbus