My stage name was partly inspired by Zelda Fitzgerald, F. Scott's little missus.

I see what you did there! You said "it's for a project I'm doing" instead of "it's so I can jerk off because I have a very obvious foot fetish" so I would give you free fap material on demand! You so crazy!

No, but I figure the lifetime of bad decisions will take care of any risk of me living a long, prosperous life.

Yes, but nobody can ever afford me. ;) email me if you think you're up for it:
ela.darling@gmail.com

That sounds like a pretty radical first world problem to me.

If I am shooting, I'm never a sad panda. :)

I got a Master's in Library and Information Science from the University of Illinois. It's the #1 library school in the country and it was founded by Melville Dewey! So rad.

Let me Google that for you:
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=ela+darling+porn

I create fiction. Nobody really lives my stuff.

An angry scowl at some obnoxious cunt who asks OVER 30 FUCKING QUESTIONS about sex on my Formspring.

Also, Betsey Johnson dresses.

No, that's bullshit, and when my friends do that to me, I put them in their place. Your drama is not my drama.

If I did, it would most likely be an Apple.

Do we ever fully understand anyone else's thoughts?

I'm a prude. Check out my scenes on FuckingMachine.com and I'm sure you'll agree.

I don't think of men who wear women's panties.

Shit! To the courthouse!!!!

JIHAD!!!!!1111!!!1!1!111

Nah, that shit is for the birds.

Look Mom, I told you. I'm sorry I didn't call you on Mother's Day!

Isn't it the Hokey Pokey?

I'm awkward when I go to visit extended family and they are concerned because I "don't have a job."