i've got tickets to kiss and motley crue, august 3rd.

naked, whenever possible. those people at starbucks are so uptight.

erogenous zone....las vegas.

we'll all end up on god's milk carton

FUCK!

i'm more interested in the mysteries of ear wax. what is it? where does it come from? why does it appear overnight? who puts it there? gnomes? are there gnomes? i think it's gnomes. i'm sorry, what were you saying?

pointless, generic FS questions.

i rarely kiss my dog's ass. although, there was that one time, she swore we'd never speak of.

i sense a typo.

lather, rinse, repeat.

you're beginning to feel very spammy. though i do invite questions directed at me.

wearing a Pink Floyd shirt as i read this.

considering they turn out to be drunken, drug addled problems of society, i'd say 'mission accomplished'.

i'm already stealing his cable, i don't want to appear greedy.

friend, have you found jesus?

i did it once. it was definitely real.

wanna trade stories?

you can't be king, just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you.

to start with. LMFAO