How can you date someone, have sex and call it love? What guarantee is there that the person you just slept with will be your life partner? On average how many sex partners will you sleep with before actually getting married?

Statistics show that arranged marriages tend to last longer than love-match marriages: 40 percent to 50 percent divorce rate in the United States and Canada for love match marriages and 4 percent for arranged marriages.

There is NO concept of courtship in Islam as it is practiced in the west. There is no dating or living in defacto relationship or ‘trying each other out’ before they commit to each other seriously. There is to be no physical relationship what so ever before marriage. The romantic notions that young people often have are proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the west to understand this point. E.g. the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not equal an everlasting bond between two people.

Romance and love die out very quickly when we have to deal in the real world. The unrealistic expectations that young people have are what often contribute to the failure of their relationship. The west make fun of the Islamic way of marriage in particular arranged marriage, yet the irony is that statistically arranged marriages prove to be more successful and lasting than romantic types of courtship. This is because people are blinded by the physical attraction and thus do not choose the compatible partner.


Islam's form of arrange marriage is much different than Hindu's or normally understood of the concept of arrange marriage.

Islam has prescribed asking the father’s permission when one wants to marry his daughter, whether she is a virgin or has previously been married.

It is the girl’s right to have sufficient information about the person who wants to marry her. This may be achieved by inquiring about him through various channels, such as asking some of her relatives to ask his friends and those who know him well about him, because they may know a lot about his good and bad points which other people would not know about.

But it is not permissible for her under any circumstances to be alone with him (khulwah) before marriage, or to take off her hijaab in front of him. It is well known that in such meetings the man does not show his true nature, but rather he is on his best behavior and tries to make a good impression. Even if she were to be alone with him or to go out with him, he will not show her his true character. Many of those who go out with a fiancé in this sinful manner end up in tragedy and these sinful steps, whether they were taken in private or in public, do not bring any benefits.

Once the girl shows interest in the prospective guy, her family then does all the background investigation and digging to find out the good and bad about the guy. If he is good then they two families start to meet in order to better get to know each other. The girl with her wali (guardian) present can talk to the guy in order to get to know him. This isn't the western type of "get to know" stuff, both individuals ask each other questions ranging from there interests, likes, dislikes to future plans and anything informative to help them make the decision. During this process, the guy or the girl can back out at any stage if he/she feels it will not be a good match. But if it all goes well then they move to next step and next step. Some go quickly while others take their time in the process till finally tying the knot.

In the end, the girl and guy know more about each other and each others family, are married and then get in bed. Compare that to the western type who don't know a thing about each other and they jump in bed right away. And they meet each others family only if they want to get serious after all the fornication. What is left for marriage then?