Sexy, sexy Family Guy boxers, my Nerdapalooza 2010 T-shirt, and manly facial scars.

On the federal level, I would abolish everything unconstitutional. That roughly amounts to everything unrelated to the military, law enforcement/judiciary, foreign affairs, border protection, collection of excise and tariff taxes, and maintenance of federal property. On the sate and municipal levels things get far more complicated, and they must be allowed more leeway to do things the federal government is prohibited from doing, but suffice to say that the majority of what the government on these levels provide is inappropriate and should be curtailed.

Perhaps you didn't see this playlist from Nerdapalooza 2009: http://goo.gl/Thnh