Mmm...I don't know whether this story is that funny. It just happened to me last weekend & I find it amusing more than anything. My friends & I went to a stripped club; it was my first time visiting such an enchanting place. Well, take that back, I went to see some male strippers once. It was quite a disturbing experience though, for all I know I may like it now. My libido has apparently rebelled against my usual love for skinny dudes & has been lusting after manly, muscular meatheads. I don't even know.
Back to the story, I was sitting down, enjoying the show when I see an extremely dorky guy approaching us. He asked my male friend whether he could talk to me he then proceeded to ask the rest of my friends & they all nodded in agreement. So, there I was wondering WTF & whether he thought I was a high class escort or something. (I wasn't dress provocative hence the high class part.)

Homeboy seemed extremely excited to be talking to me. It was almost as if had seen an apparition of his favorite celebrity & couldn't contain the emotions that were cathartic & disturbing to me. He said he had seen me around campus & that he just had to say hello to me. He was there with his friends & had a bottle of vodka. I am assuming that with that statement he expected me to say, OMGZZZ vodka! I want! Give me! Haha, I don't even drink. He felt compel to approach me because he couldn't believe I was there & that it was such a strange place to meet.

I am not a rude person, well at least not in front of others. My parents taught me manners; always wait until they leave before talking smack. I kindly replied that I was there with my friends & that I was happy he had approach me to say hello. (Bullshit, who approaches a girl at a stripped club? Creeper!) He then asked me where I was from or well, assumed I should say I was from Turkey. I corrected him & replied I was actually from Mexico to which he was surprised. I don't know why people assume I am from everywhere but, Mexico, but I digress. He said his family was from Monterrey & I said that was actually my hometown. Homeboy then tried to explain how the mountains looked & the meaning of Monterrey. Nevermind I had just told him that was my hometown so I needed no explanation. I tried to divert the conversation from that boring topic but, he was curious on what I wanted to do with my degree in MX. I told him that I actually had been living in the US for a while & didn't plan to work in MX. He looked at me weirdly & exclaimed, 'oh, but you have a student visa,right?' Clearly, he wasn't the smartest of the bunch. I said that no, I did not. I actually became a US citizen back in June. What a dumbass. Yes, I have been living in the US for a while with a student visa because that is possible. No, no, it is not. If you have a student visa, you study, & you leave the country. You don't live here, dumbass. Ugh. Dumb bastard.

I was getting exasperated with his questions & stupidity & I just wanted him to leave me the fuck alone so I could enjoy watching the naked ladies & wishing that my body looked that amazing & that I had those dance moves. I finally just had to say that it was really nice meeting him but, he was just like a leech & wanted to know if I wanted to do something later. I was confused by what later implied so I said no, that I was with my friends. He looked at me confused & I asked what he meant by later. I don't know what kind of girl he thought I was & said later tonight or later this week. I just looked at him & simply said, no. I was going to sleep after the stripped club & that I will see him around campus. His face expressions reflected a mixture of anger & disappointment. What a freak! Thankfully I have not seen him around campus & I never had in the first place. The weirdest shit happens to me. Who gets approach at a stripped club? & he was really creepy looking too.FML. I am just going to die alone. Clearly I can only attract really creepy & unfortunate looking individuals. FOREVER ALONE!