-
All responses Most smiled responses
-
Just did! Thanks for being patient.
-
I thought we talked about this a while ago...
Simply, when kissing your boyfriend/girlfriend becomes more important to you than spending time with God or it leads you down a path that leads you into sexual temptation, then you need to regroup. -
-
Is it turning you on? Is it turning on the person you are kissing? Will it lead you to do something more? Something that will take you further from God? If so, then yes. Kissing isn't a sin...only when it gets in the way of journeying with God.
-
Be in the world, not of the world. That's the saying. We need to be part of the world but realize we bring evil into this world, even Christians. Work hard not to do that. I totally agree with you about Jesus hanging out with tax collectors...in our youth group we are learning about how Jesus connected one to one with people. A lot of the time he did this through miracles. I think the miracle is that Jesus hung out with those that no one wanted to hang out with. Miracles of healing and such are all around us if we open our eyes to them. The types of miracles that occur because we as Christians are in the world are few and far between...they get made into movies like "The Blindside." I encourage you to be in the world...get messy in it, but don't let it take you away from God.
-
Some guys naturally do it and most do it because they are stupid. Girls mature faster than guys and it sounds like you are ready to be in a more mature relationship than he is ready for.
-
Stay away. You can't change him no matter what you think. God can help him, only if he sees the need to change. He sounds like he is a good friend, but this has "don't go there" all over it.
-
Kiara Knightly in pirates of the Caribbean I, II, III
-
Really good question and something I have been thinking about a lot lately since I just finished the Twilight series (yes, a little late but finally got there!). There is nothing wrong with wanting to be friends, but what confuses those boundaries is how you act and what you put out there. Look at Bella...she says she is in love with Edward and she has limited physical contact with him, but the feelings are very strong. However, Jacob is her best friend but she is holding his hand, talking about very personal things, laying her head on his shoulder, laying in a sleeping bag with him, and other things. That kind of contact confuses the lines of friendship. IT is also in the things you say to people and the direction you take conversations. Because I work with teen boys, this is an area I have to be very careful because they do this all the time. Some people, male and female, immediately take something innocent and turn it into a sexual joke. Are you being too forward in these areas? Think about your actions and how you might judge them if you saw someone else acting that way. Great verse:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” - Ephesians 4:29. If what you are saying and doing keeps people from seeing Christ in you, rethink what you say and do. How can God help you? Read the Bible...especially Proverbs 31 that talks about the type of woman you need to strive to become. God gave you a feeling....it's called guilt. Here's the tricky part---we get a guilty feeling as a warning of what not to do or say. Guilt becomes a bad thing when you let it rule your life and you don't do anything about it. Also, God gives you friends. If they are good friends and followers of Jesus, ask them this question and listen to what they have to say. This is a hard subject because it is deals with lines that get blurred. Glad that you are trying to figure this out now because this can become an issue when you enter into the job world and when you are married. Good luck and keep working on it. -
Clinically, according to "Sex Has a Price Tag", a video series with Pam Stenzel (google it), any type of touching or penetration with clothes off. Oral sex is sex. The best way to determine that for yourself is whatever makes you feel uncomfortable and start questioning what you are doing. Good rules of thumb, don't put yourself in a situation to be alone together. Handholding, sidearm hugs, quick kisses. When you start getting lost in the excitement of touching and kissing each other and you have started touching each other in ways that you know are too far, then you have probably gone too far. Staying pure is also about where your heart is. If your heart is intent on pleasing God, then you will know how far too far is. Praying for you!
-
The Bible doesn't say anything about kissing. The Bible also doesn't say anything about premarital sex. What we teach at COF is that if you have sex, whether physically married or not, you are married in God's eyes. Before you have sex with someone, ask yourself if you want to be married to that person. Are you ready for kids? STD's? Are you ready for the responsibilities that go along with sex? All that being said, the Bible doesn't say anything either way about kissing. There is nothing sweeter than a first kiss. If you are kissing your girlfriend in the hopes that it leads to sexual activity, then yes, it's impure because you have impure motives. Same for her. To keep yourself within safe boundaries, I suggest you talk to your parents and find out their boundaries for you. Also, don't put yourself in an environment for it to get out of control. Leave the doors open, don't be alone together without supervision, keep your hands above the shoulders, and have someone that you are accountable to...parents or an adult you can trust and talk to because you need the perspective of someone who has been in your shoes. Hope this helps! Please come to youth group in April since we are discussing sex and dating. LEt me know what you think.
-
Good question! First, sorry for it taking 2 weeks to get to you. Second, this is kind of creepy because I am in the building by myself at 12:42 a.m. and it creaks a lot! Maybe this will help me right now!
Here we go...1 John 4:1 tells us not believe everything we hear and to know the difference between the "spirit of truth" and the "spirit of deception." Some people take this to mean that you should be careful about the "spirits" you allow in to your life. Only the spirit of God/Jesus is the true spirit. Leviticus 19:31 tells us to be careful about dabbling in the occult because doing so will corrupt you and that means it will take your attention from God and you won't turn to Him. Some have said that Jesus appeared as a ghost/spirit to his disciples and used the term "familiar" spirit meaning that they should know the holy spirit. There are so many schools of thought on this subject. I need to find out what the Methodists believe on this before I give you a concrete answer. My question to you...do you believe in ghosts/spirits? -
So glad that you responded to let me know you are doing something about your situation. That is most of the battle...figuring out what action you are going to take. If it is done with God in mind, he will bless it or make it clear that it isn't the right thing. Congrats!
-
Dear Friend,
First, let me say how my heart breaks for your feelings of loneliness and not fitting in. I have to wonder if you are in middle school or high school. I only wonder that because middle school can often be like that for so many youth. Anyway, I am also sorry that it took us two weeks to get back to you. We are just getting started with formspring and have to get in the habit of checking it. You might not want to hear this, but I know God thinks you are cool. Is there someone from youth group that goes to your school that you can reach out to? My advice to you is to keep reaching out. Reach out to your youth director...talk to her, reach out to a teacher, maybe reach out to someone else who seems to be feeling the same way you are. Reach out to your parents. I guarantee you that they notice something is not right and they don't know how to reach out to you. When I was a teen, those were the things that got me through those times. My youth group was an anchor for me. Please try to find something that brings a smile to your face. Pastor Scott gave my son this advice: take one week to find 5 positive things in your life. He really took it seriously and began looking for those things. If I could right now, I would give you a really big, mama hug because you need to know how amazing you are in God's eyes and that you are so worth their attention. Remember this: if you aren't enough without it, you will never be enough with it. (I stole that from Cool Runnings!) It is so true. You need to keep your dignity because that is one thing no one can take away from you, unless you give it to them. Please respond back, good or bad, and let us know how you are doing. -
Sorry it has taken 4 days to get back to you. We are just getting used to Formspring.
If you don't know, this is Ms. Dinorah.
I understand completely what you mean because I asked the same question as a youth. My youth director's wife talked a lot about hearing God and I would listen really hard and read my Bible a lot trying to hear God. I had no idea what she was talking about. I also won't quote scripture to you from the Bible because that may overwhelm you. Something I can tell you is this: a lot of hearing God is about following your gut instinct. If you believe in God, that's the Holy Spirit talking to you and guiding you. To use a big churchy word, it's called "discernment". God will also use other people and things to talk to you. Open your heart to that. For example, I have been struggling with making a very big decision and not sure what God wants me to do. However, this last week I realized that God is talking to me through the books I am reading, through my family, and even the movies I have been watching. Some things, God wants you to just do the right thing and he will show you why. It doesn't always have to be a voice you hear. Hope this helps. Let us know if you need more specific advice. Praying for you. Try to be at youth group this weekend because we are talking about choosing your reactions to situations. -
First, masturbation isn't mentioned anywhere in the Bible. Here are some thoughts...
An argument against masturbation is that it is a self-centered activity rather than a God-centered activity. For some Christians, there is a belief that an orgasm actually brings a person closer to God. However, a majority of Christians believe that “pleasuring oneself” is about the self rather than God. Most Christians see their faith as having a God-focus, and that every act should be a way of edifying God. So if masturbation is not helping to develop a relationship with God, it is a sin.
Remember, you need to master your behavior, or else your behavior will master you. Even a good thing can become sinful without the right heart. Even if you don’t believe that masturbation is impure, if it is controlling you and keeping you away from God.
1 Corinthians 6:12 – “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible for me’ – but I will not be mastered by anything.” (NIV)
Even though these scriptures are used as an argument against masturbation, they do not necessarily make masturbation as a sin very clear. Yet, it is important that a person look at the reasons for masturbation to see if the desire behind the act is actually a sin. Some Christians believe that, because masturbation does not hurt others, it is not a sin. However, other Christians ask a person to look deeper within to see if masturbation is building a relationship with God or taking away from it.
I read a book written by a youth pastor about this very subject and how it became something that he desired more than anything and he masturbated a lot. It led him to look at pornography and to begin seeing women (or the opposite sex) in a way that was only sexual. In fact, he said that he masturbated for many years, even after he got married because he had images of other women and sexual acts in his head and he needed to act on those thoughts. Personally, do I think its wrong? No because it is a natural part of life. We are very open about it in our house and often quote the line from Transformers about "happy time." However, we also teach that while it is a natural way to explore your body in a private setting, you must control it so that it doesn't take you down paths that lead to destructive behavior. -
Ok...really tough question. Tough because I don't judge people by their sexual preferences. Tough because the Bible clearly talks about homosexuality in a way that is very strong and clear. There may be outside factors in your situation that are causing you to feel an attraction towards the opposite sex, and without knowing your situation, I won't talk about those. Will your bisexuality keep you out of heaven? I can't answer that and only God can answer that. What I can tell you is this...
God give us feelings of guilt, not to carry with us, but to warn us not to do something. If it makes you feel guilty, try like hell to stay away from it. The other thing to look at, and you said this in your question, "everyone is becoming bi-sexual." During Roman times, bi-sexuality was the normal thing. Everyone was bi-sexual. Paul, the apostle, tried over and over again to tell them that just because it seems everyone is making that choice, doesn't mean you need to make that choice. This is a culture that destroyed itself because they didn't tell themselves no to anything. God definitely intends for all of us to be in a loving relationship, not experimental ones with a variety of different partners. Also, feeling an attraction at your age to someone, male or female, is very normal. Don't confuse curiosity with a lifestyle choice. When you act on that curiosity is when you can get into trouble. For example, "John" is raised by his mom and doesn't have a male figure in his life to compare his growing teenage body to and he feels awkward. He looks at picture of another guy to see if he is "normal". That doesn't make him bi-sexual. It makes him curious. In today's world, all the outside influences and voices in his head will have him convinced he is gay. I hope this helps in some way. Remember to that struggling with a decision is a good thing because it causes us to seek out help from others. Also, seeking a help from a counselor may help you in this situation. Praying for you. -
I can tell you a couple of things...God has forgiven you and wants you to forgive yourself. It seem so simple, and it is. Where this gets difficult is that you may have to change some patterns in your lifestyle and the choices you make to protect your heart, and body, from making the same choices that led you this direction. It may mean you find friends that support your decision to abstain from sexual activity, you may have to not put yourself in situations that will pressure you into premarital sex, you may have to make your dating partner mad. You also have to learn to love yourself, and see yourself, the way God sees you. He knows you have made choices that don't reflect well on Him, but he sees you for all the potential and beauty he put inside you.
On the medical side of things, doctors say that if you want to abstain for 5 years, that medically that makes you a "virgin." When you have sex, your brain releases a hormone that causes you to make an attachment with that person. That is why it is so hard to get past casual sex. God knew what he was doing when he created us. He created our bodies to respond to one person. We teach something at COF, on God's eyes, you become married to a person when you have sex with that person. Before you make that choice, do you really want to be married to this person, have kids with this person, and live the rest of your life with this person? I can speak from experience on this, just because you say yes to those questions as a youth, doesn't not mean that a few years down the road it won't change. Date with a purpose...that purpose being to find out about the opposite sex, not to be in intimate relationship with the opposite sex. I tell you all of this so that you have some information on protecting your heart, because that decision is a matter of the heart, no matter what the doctors say about your body. I am asking you to forgive yourself. See yourself through your Creator's eyes, and use this experience to teach others about how important it is to not make this choice. I also encourage you to talk to your parents, because you may need forgiveness from them to get past this. If not, talk to your youth director/pastor. You probably have tried everything, now try it with God's help and know that he has let it go, and you need to stop punishing yourself for this. I don't know who you are, but I am praying for you and I love you and am telling you that you are forgiven because that is what my God wants me to tell you. -
The "thin place" concept is hard for some people to grasp. It doesn't mean that you see ghosts in that place. What it means is that you see God in places where most people would overlook him...it's like when you are outside in nature and you realize that there is something bigger than yourself that created that beauty. You realize it's God. You know it's God. You feel God's presence there with you. It is a very comforting feeling and it's a time when you feel at peace with your faith. Great question!
-
Loading...
Commmunity of Faith...’s Bio
Want a place to ask questions about Christ, faith, religion, or what's going on in your life? Check out Community of Faith Youth group.
