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thanks for responding Mikail. I like the flow of the layers that you offer... going from meeting people where they are and not where you think they should be to strategic questioning in class and the precision of the question that you ask, "Do you think that belief comes from a place of privelege?" to also revealling how you have shifted over the last 10 years to extend a means of inclusivity for everyone.
For me - some concern comes up when I think of some of the white people I might be alienating in the RJ community and I think I am needing empathy for some of my frustration, anger, and confusion in how people respond to me and my projection is that some of that is an expression of privilege itself. I feel pretty lonely, ongoingly, in the NVC community as a white male who is interested in talking about white privilege and white racism so I would really like some empathy so that I can meet people where they are and have compassion for myself. Let me know if you might be able to offer me more voice empathy sometime. The other thing that comes up for me is a curiosity about an assumption that I have... is that if people are interested in Restorative Justice in the USA then they are probably aware of the structural racism in the punitive justice system in the USA and that if they want to transform the punitive system, they will need to be able to effectively need to know how transform racism, and the best place to start, is from the inside out. I know I have more to do in myself in terms of transforming racism and unconscious domination and I also feel very cautious about white people who want to charge forward and co-create Restorative Justice based systems in communities that have deep racism roots (everywhere with Native American Genocide and African Slavery, etc) without acknowledging the historical racism and present racism that ongoingly persists. I suppose this is where I like the suggestion you offer, which is that you talk about your own white privilege when it is pertinent and you are aware of it and you notice that by allowing people to choose when to respond, in their own time... it sounds like there is more possibility and flow. Is that what you are saying? I have heard from over 5 people of color in the last 5 months that people of color ongoingly don't have a choice on a daily basis about dealing with racism and so I notice fire in me, to ongoingly bring up racism with white people on a daily basis to contribute to more awareness, equality, and shared power. I have recently been hearing from some of the white people that I work with in the RJ community that they are interested in other things and don't have time (I hear some beautiful needs there) and they want more choice. I get confused because I then start going ok... "many people of color ongoingly experience demand energy about racism daily and want more choice and some white people I work in RJ and intentional communities also want choice and its hard from them to hear fire from a white guy who ongoingly brings it up more they enjoy." So I am wondering about you meeting people where they are, that perhaps, I might try out naturally bringing up white privelege when I am aware of it and allowing white people to respond and choose what is comfortable and I can seek to meet and accept them where they are? I feel overwhelmed thinking about how often I am aware of it and how often I want to bring it up and feel urgency about that because I'd like to see rapid transformation of racism for many practical and spiritual purposes. How to balance my urgency with reality and include my urgency as part of reality too. Transcend and include like nested holongs... Integral Transformational Racism - I'd like to see Ken Wilber write about that with all his white privilege!
I feel shocked ongoingly seeing where some white people are who work in the RJ field in terms of being able to initiate and ally around anti-racist conversations and I feel pessimistic about my capacity to stick with them and meet them overtime. I ongoingly think, if I don't bring it up as a white person, then who will? And I have heard so many requests from people of color to bring it up with your white friends, over and over, for years since I studied and focused on Environmenatl Racism and Environmental Justice in college, that it is no longer easy to not bring it up with white people and for some reason, I more easily bring it up with white people in the RJ field than other circles I am a part of. Hmmm, I wonder why I do that? Is it because I think they already have the capacity and get it - or is it because I am testing them to see if they do get it and I will be able to ongoingly play with this tribe of people. When people don't get it, I often want to go find a tribe of people who do get it because I am tired of feeling lonely as a white male in groups of white liberals who are triggered by me brining my firery inquiry. Sometimes I get frustrated when people to choose to hear me with demand energy. I'd like to receive it as a gift, that I can perhaps continue to learn how to speak it in ways that work for them and also meet them where they are, and embody the generosity of choice (as a white male) that I would like to support people of color to have and with a deep sigh, that I also want white people to have. I want to be met, more ongoingly, by people like yourself - who integrate a passion for RJ, NVC, and transforming racism - and I celebrate recognizing how important it is for me to have the competent companionship to be met with learning that explore those three strands as an interconnected pathway. I am now noticing that I want to collaborate in some way, to learn more together (noticing many strategies surfacing I'd like to explore with you), and wondering if you might be willing to contemplate your own joy in exploring this 3-stranded weave of NVC, RJ, and Transforming racism with me in some unknown way and then get back to me as you feel so called. Hugs and deep heart appreciation for your willingness to meet me as a white ally, I need em too! Be well!
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Clayton Barker
Turtle Island - USA
Clayton Barker’s Bio
Learning about co-creating Restorative Systems, Learning about how to not be an expert and ongoingly asking Strategic Questions, Learning about Co-creating Communities that work for all.
