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It has definitely changed. I've gotten more lazy and I neglect my hair more often. (I'm getting better now that pregnancy fatigue is over.) Somehow, it still seems to grow. I'm in serious need of a trim so I can cut out the single strand knots and ratty ends I've found. Right now, I'm struggling with detangling, getting all this hair to dry when I do a wet twist-out, and keeping it stretched. Because it's winter, I really need to get a good bonnet hair dryer that dries my hair well. Otherwise, I'm just going to have to pull out the trusty hair dryer. Yesterday, my hair was STILL wet when I went to work and it was NOT a fun experience, at all.
I'll do a full post on my hair regimen and how it fits (or doesn't) fit into motherhood. For example, I now wash my hair every two weeks. -
I wish I could say I was an expert. And I wish my finances were where I want them to be. In an emergency fund, you should really have at least three months rent/mortgage. But honestly, if your finances aren't exactly where you want them to be... you figure it out. Life teaches you how to adjust and make a way.
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I loved her the minute I could start feeling her move inside of me. When they laid her on my chest when she was first born, she held on to my gown when they tried to take her away to clean her up...I fell deeper in love. I will admit the first 8 weeks were rough. But with support, time, and as you figure each other out... it gets easier.
What is most amazing is that I get to experience life through her eyes. It really makes you sit back and appreciate life...especially the little things. Who knew a smile could brighten up a day so much? Who knew watching her discover her hands would be so exciting? And no matter how bad I thought my day was, I can look at her and realize that I am truly blessed. She is healthy, happy, and loves me unconditionally. I can't wait to see what else life has in store for us... -
I'm happy to hear that it encourages you. Personally, I felt that it was always helpful to hear stories from mentors who had already walked the path that I've walked. Right now, I listen to the stories of mothers as I walk the path of a new mom.
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I promise to post my birth story next week. (Pinky swear.)
I still haven't quite determined how motherhood has changed me. I feel empowered, inadequate, exhausted, motivated, insecure, patient, lonely... all at once. Motherhood changes your body, the way see you see the world, and so much more.
I am the worst person to ask about breastfeeding. Because my daughter was jaundiced, she had to be supplemented and got nipple confusion. She still refuses to latch. So I pump. To add insult to injury, one of my boobs is dysfuntional. Quite frustrating.
On best practices for a newborn... take things one day at a time and realize that this is your first lesson that you will not be a perfect parent. For specifics, I recommend getting tips from you mom, mom-in-law, blogs, and sites like parenting.com. And don't be afraid to accept and/or ask for help. My mom is staying over tonight to help. Ahhh.. She could hear the exhaustion and defeat in my voice this morning. -
My best tip for anyone pursuing a career in a particular field is to review job descriptions. Take inventory of your past experiences and cater your resume to show how they relate to the job requirements.
There are many areas where you can work in higher education. A first step in the door can be to find a position that aligns well with your current position. For example, if you work in finance, consider a job in the Budget Office, a Financial Aid Officer, or an Academic Advisor for the College of Business (if you can show experience in counseling or working with students) . If you work in human resources, consider a move to human resources or for a student-centered position -- a position career services.
What is your field? What area of higher education are you considering? -
You've stumped me. Kind of.
There is some funding for graduate studies provided by the government. For example, the SMART scholarship (www.asee.org/SMART). For k-12 education, many teaching fellows program pay for the graduate degree. Progams like McNair Scholars Program help match students with programs that fully fund their graduate students. (You can apply as an undergraduate and complete research during your summers.)
Most funding for graduate programs will be provided via departments and research centers at your university. They receive funding for their projects; a line item of those grants is to pay employees and graduate assistants.
Anyone know of other sources? -
What a coincidence?! I was just talking about this with my students yesterday.
First, I must confess. I am not a fan of for profit higher education institutions. The fact that they are for profit counters the cornerstone of higher education. Their focus is profit rather than education...by any means necessary. This is why they are under scrutiny by the federal government. With acceredition issues and the associated stigma, I would personally steer clear of these type of institutions.
A lot of people don't realize that traditional schools recognize that more adult and non-traditional students are attending college. Thus, they are adjusting their models to accomodate these students. There are many traditional colleges with evening and online courses. You can find a program that suits your needs plus a reputable degree.
What would you like to do with your Master's Degree? Are you considering a Ph.D? Are you interested in counseling or serving as a practitioner? Those are all factors to consider. You may also want to consider related degrees in Social Work or Counseling...depending upon your goals and interests. -
For all programs you learn in the classroom. I'm guessing that when they indicate research, they mean research-based programs. Meaning that the faculy all do reserach. The main difference is that accredited programs often require faculty to do research and a program where the faculty don't do research likely have a lot of adjunct professors. For your fields, you want to check what accreditions your graduate program need to have and check for each school.
In some fields, accredition is very important. For example, if you want to federal government, a degree from an accredited program is very important
Please let me know if you have any additional questions. -
Hi Sunny,
You should also check in to the academic offices for any health-related undergraduate majors. They usually hire grad students to advise undergrads. You can also check your school's health centers, centers for research, and faculty.
Good luck with your search! -
Congratulations on your acceptance to graduate school! Graduate students can get funding via fellowships, teaching assistantships, research assistantships, graduate assistantships, and hall director assistantships. (Fellowships are like scholarships; Assistantships require you to work 20 hrs/wk in exchange for tuition and a living stipend). To find out about these opportunities, you should contact your graduate office, professors in your graduate program, reseach centers, offices, and/or Residence Life.
Certain programs are more research-oriented so it easier to attain a research assistantship, others will require some more leg work. ( What program were you accepted to?)
In graduate school, my first year I conducted research and did event planning for my School's Director. (I specifically mentioned my interest in his reserach in my personal statement.) My second year, I worked for a research center. Both assistantships were focused on education policy.
I checked out UF's website. Here are some links to get you started:
Posted position in Residence Life
http://gradschool.ufl.edu/students/graduate-campus-employment.html
Graduate Financial Aid Information
http://gradschool.ufl.edu/students/financial-aid.html
You can also check out more posts in the Career/Education section. If you have further questions, please feel free to send an e-mal to: qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com. -
My answer to all three is "Being selfish"
1. In marriage, as Keeley puts it, you are corporation. You can't make decisions that could bring down the corporation. Once you are married, your decisions have to work for the both of you.
2. Now that we are a homeowners, we have less disposable income...especially in the first year. It is geting easier over time, but gone are the times when I could go shopping and still have tons of money to save for the month. We have to be more methodical about our purchases.
3. As I transition into parenthood and the nesting phase comes into full swing, I'm realizing that my life (and hubby's) dedicated to the baby girl inside of me. We are more motivated than ever before and our relationship has grown stronger. We want to dream big and lead a good example for our daughter. My party days are looooong gone, so I don't have to give that up. But we both plan on making time for occasional girls's nights, guys' nights, and date nights.
For all three, although you can no longer be selfish... you should not lose sight of yourself in the process. Don't lose yourself in your relationship; find balance (financially) when it comes to your home; and remember that part of being a parent is realizing your own dreams so that your children believe their dreams are achievable as well. -
I had to think about this one. The answer to this question is two-fold.
In terms of finances, I think it was important that we bought a house that we could afford. If we were house poor, it would have been very difficult to overcome life's challenges i.e. unemployment, unexpected tax bill.
I think it also important to remember that life is a journey. I try to appreciate my current stage in life. It is easier to wish that I had more money or could do this or that, but I'm doing pretty well for a 28 year-old. I've come a long way from my one bedroom studio a.k.a. the kitchen. -
Yes. Buying a house in DE has its perks. You save a lot on property taxes. (Hopefully, they don't reassess anytime soon.) But you have to remember that you will have to pay taxes to both Maryland (state and county) and Delaware (state and city, in Wilmington).
My best advice is to pick a home with easy access to I-95. If you can find a home that allows you to skip the toll from DE to Maryland, even better. (Not only does it save you money, but it causes a lot of traffic). Keep in mind that traffic on I-95 in and out of Baltimore is a nightmare. When I commuted to Baltimore years ago, it could take up to two hours on a bad day. MARC is also an option though.
In general, whenever you buy a house consider the house AND the neighborhood. Look up crime reports. Review the recent sales in the area. Pay attention to surrounding neighborhoods. The worst thing you can do, espeically in this economy, is buy a home in a declining neighborhood.
Please feel free to e-mai me at qtrlifechronicles@gmail.com with further questions.
Good luck househunting! -
When I shop, I try to remain professional while maintaining my style aesthetic. I am wary of high hem lines, low-cut shirts, and too tight clothing.
To remain youthful, I pay attention to fit and try to incorporate fashionable styles into my work wardrobe. But I am also mindful of appropriateness. For important meetings, I stick to a suit. For more casual days, I have a little more fun with my wardrobe.
My favorite stores are: Banana Republic, The Limited, Express, and Macy's. (I shop at other stores, but these are aces in the hole.) I tend to shop the outlet version of these stores (BR and Express) and you are most likely to find me in these stores during sales and clearance extravaganzas. (I'm on their respective e-mail lists, so I always know when they are.)
For work, you will usually find me wearing the following items: pencil skirts (love!), straight leg pants, tees (no ironing), and and assortment of blazers to mix and match. I use accessories to add some visual interest to my outfits. For example, if I am wearing a black and white suit... I'll wear red pumps.
How does everyone else maintain a youthful look while keeping in mind a professional image? -
Since most of my close friends are out of state, that's pretty easy...lol. In fact, I asked my hubby the other night to do my prenatal pilates dvd with me and he told me that I need more DE friends. My friends and I normally have get togethers every one or two months in one of our respective states. This weekend, Keeley, HIl and I are meeting Nadette for Baltimore Restaurant Week. (So excited!) When we are not together, we text, fb, blog, call (we haven't done a three-way plus in a while...need to do that), etc.
For me, it's not difficult to maintain relationships with single friends. To me, single friends are not a problem... having single, bitter, anti-relationship friends are the problem. (Cue Basketball Wives...bwahahaha.) All of my friends have been supportive of my marriage and the baby on the way. (They can't wait to be Aunties!)
P.S. I had all intentions of posting a traditional post today, but blogger's picture uploader decided not to work. Grrrr.... -
Being broke! LOL!
But on a serous note...
I think the most important challenge is learning that marriage is different from dating. The rules of dating don't apply. When you are married, you never really win an argument nor are you ever really right.
Confused? Let me explain...
When you win an argument, you haven't really won. Because you are intertwined, you can't really win. (Sadly.)
When you focus on being right, you pay too much time laying blame... and it cripples progress in your relationship. In a marriage, you have to be right together. Your focus should be on finding a common ground. (Even if you are right...)
These are the biggest lessons I've learned over the last year and couple of months.
Anyone else want to chime in? What do you think is one of the most challenging things to deal with as a young married couple? -
Shopping as a mommy-to-be was very stressful at first. But once I figured out what worked for me, it got a lot easier.
Here some quick tips:
1. If you are thinking about getting pregnant, keep that in mind while shopping. Buy clothes that will at least get you through the first and early second trimester. Think stretch, tunics, open sweaters, and dolman tops. You'll thank yourself later.
2. Maintain your style aesthetic when shopping for maternity clothes.
3. Find a balance between style and comfort. Stretch, spandex, tunics, and similar styles will be your best friend.
4. Utilize both traditional stores and maternity style clothes. (Try everything on to ensure proper fit.)
For regular clothes, check out trendy stores that tend to have the aforementioned styles i.e. H&M, Forever 21, American Eagle, Express, The Limited, etc.
For maternity clothes, check out Gap (at Baby Gap/Kids Gap), Old Navy, Motherhood Maternity/Destination Maternity/Pea in the Pod, asos.com. Look out for sales and clearance!
5. Bring your support system while shopping. They will help you raise your spirit when you feel like nothing looks good on you.
*I will follow up with one or two posts so I can provide pics, links, and more resources. -
I'm not sure what kind of parent I will be, because a lot of times we have a fairytale vision...and then reality hits. Plus, every child is different.
I think that 90% of parenting is what you do and only 10% of what you say. I want to "show" my daughter that I love her, not just say it. I want to "exhibit" to my daughter that dreams are achievable, rather than just tell her. Beyond that basic tenet, I will likely pull from how my mom raised me- I think I came out ok...plus I admire her. I'm sure I'll long along the way. It should be an interesting journey and I'm sure I 'll learn more about myself and my values in the process -
We actually met in a tattoo parlor! I was accompanying someone to the get their tattoo and the tattoo artist was behind. We invited him back and were talking to him. I was really upset that he didn't ask for my phone number, but when I got home there was a facebook message waiting for me. (I knew his cousin.) We've been together ever since. I wrote a lengthy blog post about it, if you want more details.
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Latoya’s Bio
I am 28 years old. New homeowner, newlywed sharing my quarter life chronicles.
