The only person who knows it happened at the time of its happening is the person who did it. So it's pretty much the antithesis of dramatic. I unfriend people all the time because I don't like any of you!

For starters, you don't ask questions anonymously.

Wait, what?

Depends on how much those Swiss kids picked on Kim Jong-un at school.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CdEBgZ5Y46U#!

Surprise, surprise, it's a cat video. On the internet.

NEVER!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ77e-Uzscs

Play

5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, etc

You want to know the truth? You really want to know? Okay.

It's because all you east coast bastards have done nothing but whine and complain the last couple years because of your SNOWMAGGEDONS and SNOWPOCALYPSES.

"Oh no, I actually have to shovel my driveway of 15 feet of snow."
"Wah, I can't get to work because there are 10 foot snowdrifts in the middle of every major road."
"I hate the loving cold embrace of Mother Nature FOREVER."

Well, GUESS WHAT. Mother Nature's sick of all your whining, east coasters. If you can't deal with the snow, then guess what? I guess NO ONE gets snow. EVER AGAIN. Thanks a lot, jerks! Way to ruin it for the rest of the continent!

Don't attribute this to "global warming" when it's clearly a case of coastal whining.

WELL HE SAID IT TWO OR THREE DAYS LATE, SO I DON'T ACCEPT.

I will never respond to this question.

Fuck no. Mosh pits are about having fun, not hurting other people. Back in the day I wrote a blog post about mosh pit etiquette, and thanks to the power or archive.org, I can apparently reproduce it here for you:






After a flurry of punkrock shows the past couple of weeks, a disturbing trend has come to my attention: People in pits are still fucking assholes! So I thought I’d whip up a few quick tips on becoming a contributing member of your next punkrock mosh pit and not just some dumb shitbag who everyone hates and then gets maced by security because you fucking deserve it.




General Pit Tips!

* We are all brothers and sisters!
Most pits are a community effort; no single person should ever hold them hostage. When you’re in the pit, you should consider everyone around you a part of your family. We’re all in this together, and we all want to have the same chaotic fun everyone else is having. Remember this when you enter the foray and make sure you’re there to benefit the community, not detract from it.

* Help People Out!
Again, the pit is a family. We all need to be looking out for each other. If you see someone fall down, help them back up! The quicker they get back up, the quicker you can get back to the action, and the safer it is for everyone. The last thing someone needs is for five more people to fall on top of him and smash his head into the concrete. Same thing goes for people who have shoes come untied. Make sure they're protected while they're tying that shit back together.

* Keep your limbs in view!
Pits are about chaos, all right, but a controlled chaos. You should never flail your appendages behind you. You could end up taking out someone’s face with an ill-placed blow, and that’s no fun. Ideally, you should focus your torrent of rage directly in front of your person, where you have at least some control over where you’re going to land your blows. Even more ideally, you should keep your attacks low so that you don’t hit someone in the face. Obviously this will depend a lot on your height, but use some common sense, bro.

* Keep your limbs in the pit!
People on the edge of the pit are usually there for a couple reasons: They’re tired, they’re there to keep someone else safe, or they’re trying to keep the peace. You should NEVER be focusing your ‘attacks’ on people on the side of the pit. This includes things like punching and kicking, but even moreso purposely running into or throwing someone at full speed into the side. Usually these people are not paying full attention to the pit and you should take that into account.

* Be aware of what’s going on around you!
Pits are a good place to lose yourself, but please keep enough focus to know what’s going on around you. If you do see someone who has fallen down across the pit, or someone who has to tie their shoe or someone who just isn’t paying attention, do your best to avoid them and not create a problem / further the problem that already exists. If you see a problem start to arise, either help out or keep away.



General Edge Tips!

* You’re still in the pit if you’re on the edge!
Be aware that standing on the side of the pit does not make you exempt from the people in there. But there’s a difference here: You’ll get hit, but you should not be hitting back. No one needs to be cheap-shotted by some tramp standing on the edge who’s pissed because her hair got messed up. Get real, lady. Shoving and keeping pit momentum is okay, but again, don't be an asshole about it and keep it fun and safe.

* Help People Out!, Part II
People on the edge of the pit are mainly in a supporting role to the people who are in the pit. If someone falls down in front of you, help them up! If someone loses a shoe or their shoe comes untied, give them some room to tie it and prevent other people from crashing into them! If someone is trying to get out of the pit, give them a lane to get through. If you see someone who is going crazy and they come near you, hold them back for a second and explain to them that they need to calm the fuck down. Just be a good Samaritan and all will go well.

* Pay attention to who you’re shoving!
Being on the edge of the pit does not give you clearance to shove everyone as hard as you can if they get near you. Pay attention to how that person is acting when they pass by. Do they have their hand up as an indication that they want out? Do they resist your attempts to push them back in? Then don’t fucking do it! You’re as much a part of the community as anyone else in there, and being respectful to each other is the best way to go. If you are going to shove someone, don’t do it as hard as you can and make sure it’s in the same general direction the pit is going in.

* Keep the dancefloor clean, please!
One of the worst things you can do is to make the dancefloor wet. Don’t spill your drink all over and don’t throw your bottles or other garbage into the pit. We don’t need people slipping all over the place because of your inability to be a decent fucking human being.



Specific Tips!

* NO FUCKING SPIKES, ASSHOLE!
I cannot stress this enough. While most places do check for stupid accessories that are classified as ‘punk’ these days, some of them still slip through. Wearing a spike bracelet does not make you a tough dude and if you cut someone in the pit with it, they’re gonna be fucking pissed and probably take your shitty little head off. Your intention in the pit should never be malicious, but if you’re wearing spiked accessories or anything that might harm another person that isn’t your own flesh and bone, then you should get the fuck out. You have no place here.

* Pits are about having fun, not showing 14-year-old girls how tough you are!
You should not be out there dancing with malicious intent. Just because you work out every day doesn’t mean you should shove some dude full speed across the pit or deck any guy who gets near you. Someone’s gonna end up with a broken jaw, and that just ain’t fun. Save that jock mentality for your fuckin’ Tool shows and get that shit out of my punkrock.

* Big dudes dance too!
People come in all shapes and sizes. This is a fact of life. If some God somewhere has given you the gift of super-height or super-strength, ensure that you don’t use these powers for evil! When you’re swinging you arms around, realize that someone’s head is probably at the same height as your fist and be careful of where you’re swinging those things. People should be aware going into a pit that they are going to get hit, but if you can go the extra mile and at least make sure they come out of it with their jaw intact, it will be much appreciated.

* This ain’t no hardcore show!
Keep your fucking hardcore dancing out of the next Yellowcard show you attend, please. There’s nothing that kills the fun more than a bunch of fucking hardcore kids spazzing out one-by-one on the dancefloor while everyone else has to sit around and be bored or taking an elbow in the face. Punkrock is about fast, energetic fun that everyone can partake in. Check your hardcore mentality at the door.

* Keep your goddamned shirt on, you damn hobos!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than being on the edge of the pit and having some hulking, sweating, hairy back pressed into your face. We know you’re a tough dude, but keep your fucking shirt on so that I don’t have to get all your sweat all over myself.


Most of the problem stems from the varsity football team captains who heard the latest Hawthorn Heights single on the radio and they’re now his favorite band. As much as I hate stereotyping, I see it over and over and over again, and it’s always the same type of guy. They can’t get it through their thick skulls that pits are more than just that Neanderthalic urge to bash in the face of every person who comes near. If you see one of these dudes, kindly hand them a print-out of these rules and perhaps it will open their minds.

Or maybe they’ll just punch you in the face. But at least you’ll know you tried, friend! And I appreciate it.

I’ll probably add some more in the future, but following these basic tips should be more than enough to keep the pit a safe and exceedingly fun place for everyone involved! Remember, kids, mosh pits are first and foremost about having fun! But your definition of ‘fun’ needs to include people other than yourself in order for it to work.

This is how I feel about the holidays.

Your shirts are like two or three sizes too big

People who walk up or down escalators but then decide they need to stop walking right at the end because I guess it's really hard to walk when the steps are smaller???? Follow through, assholes, or I will end you.

But... but that's MY profile shuffle? Are we... are we the SAME PERSON???

My grandfather flew in the Air Force, but that's about it.