My dad would play this in our living room and I remember bobbing to it at a young age.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8d7CJFSSyY

Play

Probably @salem so that @chrisbarmonde would fuss over me for a day. Wait, what?

I'll have it any which way I can get it, really.
When it comes to ice cream, I'm not very picky. http://tinyurl.com/82duu4v

Well this is a bummer =\

Firstly, the fact that it's eating away at so much of the present. I have a terrible habit of dwelling on past and future, and if I'm not thinking about what was or what could be, I'm daydreaming.
It's something I'm trying to work on.

Secondly, the knowledge that nothing ever goes according to plan is both terrifying and pissing me off. My entire life thus far has been lived by the seat of my pants.
For once (...twice) I have plans (and lots of them), and it's going to kill me if none of them go accordingly. I'm all about going with the flow and taking life as it comes, so it irritates me to no end when I talk about my worries for the future and people tell me to roll with the punches.
Fuck that shit, I'm tired of being punched.

I just want to make plans for something and then see them carried out, and I don't get why everyone is making it out to be a huge improbability.
aslkdhalskjdhalskjdh

Yes, this has been asked before; but, I've never really responded to it, honesty/truthfully/whole-heartedly/whatever else good people want to call the opposite of lying. So, I will – this time – reveal the truth behind my username.

FUNNY STORY, REALLY.

Actually, no. In hindsight, it's not really a funny story.

So, I started a Formspring (near the beginning of my high school career) and my username was: OmgItsIqra. I know. I was SO COOL, right? I mean that with a heaviest dose of sarcasm. We're all losers at one point or another.

Formspring (to me, personally) was always an extension of Facebook. Facebook was where I would publicize my Formspring account and get the "hat3rzz" from school to say what they wanted - about me - anonymously. Trust me, during those times, my inbox was a freakish nightmare. There are just so many ways you could insult someone through words.

Anyways, so this one time, a guy named Nathan gets on my Formspring. He said some things, unanonymously, about me that would throw any rational person into a fit. Defensively, I said some things back and reported him. His account was, thereby, deleted.

Over on Facebook, I messaged him with an obnoxious, "IN YOUR FACE! I GOT YOUR ACCOUNT DELETED! HAHAHA!" Tacky? Yes. This later led him to reporting my account (because obviously I wasn’t entirely civil when it came to insulting him back.) Thus, my Formspring account, OmgItsIqra, was deleted.

I sat on my ass the next couple of days. Back at school, Nathan began recording me in class on his phone in a sad attempt to make me apologize or some shit. WHAT A BRIGHT AND INTELLIGENT GUY.

So later, it was my brother’s idea to revamp another Formspring account. You know, like, you can’t let one fall prevent you from standing up. Or some other bullshit metaphor. (As you can see, I’m very poetic.)

So, when deciding a username, I was already fairly familiar with the ways in which the site worked. So I thought of something ridiculous. Wouldn’t it be funny if Formspring announced that a male’s private parts smiled at your response? Obviously I couldn’t say penis. http://tinyurl.com/6pnzfn8

Therefore, I opted for the term Ding Dong. But, why settle for an ordinary Ding Dong when it could be a Big Ding Dong. My Big Ding Dong.

Now, my ginormous ball sacks would smile at your response. My male genetillia would send out batch questions. And my hairy hair balls would ask you something.

(For those interested, I don’t have a penis. http://tinyurl.com/6pnzfn8)

THERE!

When asked about something simple,

I gave a life story.

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T ASK WOMEN QUESTIONS!

WE’RE INEFFICIENT AT CONVERSATIONS!

THERE ARE ALWAYS PERSONAL STORIES IN THERE, SOMEWHERE.

Lesson totally learned.

I think with a rapid scanner machine thing. Unless we make the interns scan every page with the Epson. I hope we don't do that. Obviously I'm not involved with the scanning.

one way they are related is they both appear in episodes of adventure time!

“Gifts are never free: they bind the giver and receiver in a loop of reciprocity. It is rude to refuse a gift, and ruder still to not return the kindness.” ~ Marcel Mauss.

Fuck that. A gift is a gift. A favor is a favor, who the fuck expects to get something back in return? That’s retarded.

There are 3 candidates:

@adventseph, to finally see what is behind that fucking mask. (Dude, you're not fooling any body, we all know that's a mask. ..Or is it..?)
@STG4Dummies I have ALWAYS wanted to go to Egypt and see what it's like to actually *line* there beyond the tourist attractions. As a tourist, you can never get a real feel for a place culture wise.
@cassanDRO1D Canada, DUH!

@STG4Dummies or @ItsMeChrisG. Because on the one hand I could be in Egypt which would be awesome, or on the other I'd apparently get to meet hobbits and ride sheep.

Dancers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zymn6JmbhWw

Play

I do. Just finished signing the paper work yesterday.

"A lot of rubbish is talked about love. You know what real love is? It's wiping someones ass or changing the sheets when they've wet themselves and letting them keep their dignity so you can both go on."[1]

I think TRUE love can be broken down quite simply. Mutual respect and affection meet magic and sunshine dust.
How does it go? Love is patient, love is kind, etc etc.

First off, divorce and unmitigated angst\hatred are not mutually exclusive. I firmly believe that you can love someone with all of your being but not be able to make a relationship work.
That doesn't mean that the love wasn't real, or that it has to die.
Sometimes life is cruel, and mortgages, diaper duty, and a lack of communication can take their toll.

Isn't this the ultimate question?
There is no a+b=c, it's not a one-size-fits-all kind of deal.

But I can say without hesitation or a shadow of doubt that love is very real, and that true love is more than the fireworks and "An Affair to Remember"s.

[1] The Deep Blue Sea

It's never even occurred to me that someone might not. Stop reading Youtube comments and start reading books.

My ex-girlfriend's sister's wedding.
Her and I had been dating for about 4 months, but she didn't tell her Father.

Shannon (yes @TaliTalulla, my ex-gf has Irish blood) asked me to get to the wedding earlier than everybody else so that we could spend some time together, but turns out that she was soooo busy she barely said hello to me, introduced me to some old people who were already there, and disappeared with her Mother to go see the bride.

So I just stood there talking to old people coming from the Midwest, for about half an hour. When suddenly, a very charismatic man, dressed up in a military uniform with so many medals, slowly walks down the stairs. He walks up to me and says:
Him : "Hello young man, I am the bride's Father."
Me: "Hi, my name is Martin. Very nice to finally meet you in person ! " ( thinking he knew I was with his daughter -_-' )
Him: "And may I ask how you are related to the bride ?"
Me : " Derpaderpaderpaderp .... I am huuuuuuh... Hmph ... Shannon's .. huuuuh.. FRIEND !"
Him : "Oh I see. Nice to meet you."

And he moved on. It was soooooo awkward ...
Turns out Shannon's Father was an ex-pilot in the military, and was pretty high ranked in there ...
This was the first wedding I was attending as an adult, my girlfriend didn't tell her dad I was seeing her, and the ceremony was an hour from starting ... I knew nobody there. I just wanted to run awayyyyyyyyyy.

So I went to my rental car. Closed the door. And started blasting reggae music for about 30 mins.

It pretty much went on like this all night long. But after a while, I just ended up dealing with it, and her and I had good laughs about the situation =)

Never too many.

@Formspring, you smexy. ~
If I forget to mention someone. consider yourselves unloved. You may take that lovely seat in between "Look at all the" and "Fucks I give."

@TaliTalulla (although, I could just be mentioning Tanya for her delicious looks), @ItsMeChrisG (http://tinyurl.com/6p3k4xs), @GuiPloo (I want to adopt you. Like. right now), @alyssabarmonde (http://tinyurl.com/7vda988) @ElmornSilverkin (one of the more "memorable" people on Formspring), @AishaMath1337 (a.k.a PLANET-SIZED HEAD), @mylifeisaviraje (flawless), @ROBERTZW (PURE AWESOMENESS), @adborden (a cat-loving, cookie-eating monstrosity), @mirughhh (sarcastically humorous), @chrisbarmonde (http://tinyurl.com/7dktpcc), @ThatNakedGuy (you and whipped cream share a special spot in my mind), @adventseph (my gorgeous sister), @TrishBerg (http://tinyurl.com/6wob7t9), @ade, @pims (http://tinyurl.com/cvxgaa7), @horseebooks, @kelly, @emomirror, @lizzie8192, @sandosh, @jelanna, @AndrizzleYo, @ascii7085, @johnsanders, @cassanDRO1D, @BillSanders, @STG4Dummies, @mikepreuss, @MikeGuy668, @MirandaWrites, @CharlyPhraser, @Pendrake, @jake, @Wellseeyalater, @AskZaya, @dplatt2, @madkingx, @CanadianRocker, @martincozzi, @timfbowen, @TWHarr, @jfreshOFFICIAL, @nathan, @iamprimrose, @jmcgough, @stephans, @Cairnarvon, @taffyroman, @elinar2, @samchick, @LaKitteh, @sergedou, @Flobin, @SUPAHCRAZYME, @Shujaullah, @shaneharter, @Marababbyy, @yamnaimtiaz, @JokerGirl93, @grifmont93, and @ambroff.

Yes, it's in a specific order. I love you least, @ambroff..