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But you have no idea what I read or enjoy reading. All of my good books are at home where I cannot distract myself with them and the ones I have here are for the purpose of blowing off steam.
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Mentally: I love my artsiness and literary obsession. I wish I could read more that I wanted to read.
Physically: Hmm... My hair and my face. I like that I most of the time look like who I am. -
I have three points to make:
1) Plenty of gay and trans people were raised i extremely homophobic environments, subjected to verbal and physical abuse for their orientations and genders (case and point: a three-year-old boy who was killed after being hurled into walls too much by his father because he was afraid that his son might turn out gay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_violence_against_LGBT_people_in_the_United_States (January 8, 2005))) and have, through perseverance and insuppressible sense of self, come out the other end still gay as anything. These people's families may have been straight as rods and somehow these children turned out to be queers. For this reason, I am disinclined to believe that gayness can at all be attributed to genetics and tend towards the theory that people just have this innate gay quality inside them.
2) I actually did a research project on this topic last year in my sociology class in which I evaluated 4 scientific studies on the subject. The conclusion was that the children of self-identified homo and bisexuals, the rate of self-identified queer kids was slightly elevated compared to the control groups of straight-raised kids. There was something like... a 3-5% increase if I remember correctly. If I had to hypothesize on why this is, I would think that mayhap the queer spawn felt like they had more room to experiment and come out earlier because they might be accepted more openly. Maybe the straight kids had never really considered the fact that they might be a bit bi-curious as worth mentioning. This project assured me that genetics are most likely not part of what makes kids gay.
3) In my own case... well, I know that I get totally turned off when I think about my parents and their relationships. Anything that I see in a person that reminds me of my biological mom (whose body is almost exactly like mine) totally freaks me out and I will be kinda repulsed. Is that normal?
My gayness feels totally separate from my parents and the way that they raised me. In fact, I don't remember a huge ton about my parents being together because they split up when I was seven. I mostly remember them being with other people over the years and I don't think that was much of an influence either. If anything, I might have been discouraged from the lesbian life MORE because I saw all the drama my mom had to put up with from that peetree dish of a gay community that we have in Toronto.
My gayness and the way I see women is all my own. In recent years I have even moved away from the androgynous girls a bit in my attraction, and broadened my spectrum to the femmes of the world, people who my mom never really dated while I was growing up.
I'm not sure if this makes sense... I'm sick and sitting in a loud Starbucks as I write this, but I think that somewhere in this answer my opinion is stated.
I believe that the queerness in a person belongs to that person as an innate part of their personality and I don't think that anyone can influence that. I don't think that either genetics or a gay environment can change someone drastically. Maybe it gives someone a bit of a push in one direction or the other if the environment is positive or negative, but each person's orientation belongs to them as something that cannot be changed.
I liked answering this question. Thanks for the opportunity. -
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It's completely uncalled for that someone would assume that a) just because someone is bisexual or gay that they would have any more chance of having STDs than any other demographic and b) that someone would step into my relationship and assume, without knowledge, that I don't know what I'm doing. Anyone who actually knew me would also know that I was raised in a very safe sex educational household and have a fine grip on the subject.
& insulting the gay community is not going to help your case, no matter what. -
I don't think that whether it was a troll question is the point or not. Something as outrageous as that needs a proper response so that people understand that it's not okay to be ignorant like that, even as a joke.
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... I just don't even know what to say here.
Having AIDS is in no way related to being gay any more than it is related to being straight or African or a sex worker or anything else. In North America, the demographic with the fastest growing HIV infection rate is straight white women in their teens and twenties, not in the gay population. Whose HIV status should you be worried about? Anyone who is not careful with protection and regular testing.
Your question shows you obviously know NOTHING about the history of the AIDS epidemic. In the 80's the term GRID was created as the first media name for the epidemic, standing for Gay-Related Immune Deficiency. This was created because the first documented cases of AIDS were found in gay men, however soon the disease was renamed when it was found that there was no demographic restriction on who got the virus. Throughout the 80's, however, there continued to be an epidemic in the gay community because of the fact that it is very easy to spread STDs through unprotected anal sex. This stigma towards AIDS being referred to as the "Gay Disease" carried over to politics, where blood donation banks set into place a rule that one cannot donate blood if they have slept with a man who has slept with a man. This has yet to be abolished, at least in Canada.
I have been watching people die of AIDS my whole life. Being raised in the heart of the gay community in Toronto, I knew a number of aging gays who had contracted the disease in the 80's and early 90's, and I recognize a few names from the AIDS memorial wall outside The 519.
It is incredibly insensitive that you would suggest that I should be worried that my boyfriend is going to be HIV-positive, not because you have some knowledge about his past sexual history and testing, but SOLELY BECAUSE he identifies as bisexual. Would you ask that of anyone who was in a straight relationship as a main concern? The answer is obviously no. Never-mind that you have clearly never done any research on the subject and are living in your unfounded biases, you have no sensitivity to the fact that real people have lived in contact with this disease and know what it wreaks.
Last of all... do you really think I make it a habit to sleep with people who are not regularly STD screened? Ridiculous.
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Yonah: Cadence wanted me to share my thoughts. I've gotten various responses to my bisexuality from people I know. Of course, most just accept it and move on to more interesting aspects of my identity, but quite a few have fixated on my sexual orientation. Many just put me in their basket of "gay best friend"s, or romanticize the ability to date both guys and girls ("double the chances right?" They think. *facepalm*). But a few have been genuinely put-off; one girl even told me that the thought of her boyfriend leaving her for a man kept her from even thinking of bi-guys as people whom she could ever date.
Bi-guys are guys who like both girls and guys. Often (but not always), they have some history with both. This, I think, leads to many fears about us. For my one friend, it was the knowledge that she could be left for a guy. Maybe for other people there's some fear about what infections a bi-guy could carry (In case you're wondering: all the same ones as straights and gays). These fears, I think, have more to do with how we see bisexual men than any statistics you hear at the water-cooler. I appreciate the concern you have for my girlfriend, but as she said - it's not about sexual orientation, it's about safety and testing. There's no need to be terrified, not of bi-guys, not of gays, and not of straight guys either. But HIV/AIDS does not discriminate by sexual orientation. You realize that there's no sexual partner you'd be automatically safe with, right? Get tested and get your parter tested, and until then, condoms! Condoms for everyone! -
Yes, he is. We're really gay together that sometimes we forget that we're in a straight relationship.
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If you are the person who I think you are I will see you soon and shower you with kisses. If you are not... wanna make out?
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Ima copy Kate - I'd rather kiss my boyf except if Tegan Quin is available.
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I don't really see how I can help - a person's style is subjective to who they are. I know that my style comes into conflict a lot with what other people like, mostly because I consider a lot of things tacky when they have too much embellishment.
As for my personal style -
http://www.flickr.com/photos/citymorningblue/5544206274/
It's a well-documented fact that I don't wear pants. I wear tights and skirts and t-shirts and cardigans, mostly. That's my standard outfit. I try to throw in earrings. Also my Doc Martens. I like clothing that is either laughable or creates a nice silhouette and doesn't have much on it in terms of pattern. I'm really simple.
If you want a straightforward answer on how to develop style, I suggest you ask Kate (http://www.formspring.me/katesloan) because I just kinda stumbled into what a like whereas she has an actual vision. -
I got a tragus piercing on my left ear. I've had a plan as to what I want my piercing ensemble to look like eventually and this was the final ear piercing I want. This was my... what? 8th piercing? But that includes ones I got more than once so right now I have 6.
It was the least painful piercing I've ever gotten, actually. Although, it's weird to hear your cartilage thunking out and right now I just feel like I have an earache and can't swallow. -
You're so pretty, pretty girl.
Can we be best friends forever? -
Ha, as if sleep happens in university. What a hilarious concept. Last night I got 2 hours. I wrote an essay until 5:30 am and got up at 7:30.
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He's in my room right now & we're study partying! It's awesome.
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I don't know it's name. :(
My winter playlist usually sates me though - it's a mix of The XX, The Dirty Projectors, the Beatles, the Weepies, Feist & Pomplamoose, among other things. -
I've never really had really well-planned costumes, unfortunately. I did, however, love dressing up as a lion when I was 4. Right now I'm Velma from Scooby Doo which is pretty damn awesome.
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Excuse me if I feel uncomfortable explaining my emotional state to strangers on the internet. The questions regarding my last answer have been intrusive and rude (some not intentionally). To imply that I am being a jerk for not immediately divulging my secrets to people who I don't know when it doesn't fit their plans is plain ridiculous. I have the right to ignore any questions that I don't feel okay about answering publicly.
To be honest, I haven't talked to anyone outside of my roommate and best friend about this so no one is going to get information who it isn't constructive for me to talk to about it. -
I'm not sure yet. I like being on my own, but there's bitterness sown in.
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Cadence Lee
Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Cadence Lee’s Bio
I'll answer anything within reason.
Wants Questions About
- gayness. Lay it on me.




