that he's tall and handy and handsome and kind but doesn't really know any of this so you might have to smack him in the face a few times til he gets it and then you can have lots of kids and he'll build you a house out of 3 toothpicks and an empty cookie boxes on some mcguyver shit and you'll live happily ever after!

i got 27 cents and a slice of gum.

you cant have my gum slice, though.

lol hi, ihsan. :-*

i told you yall need to take up a collection. i'ma be back up that way next year sometime. buy me a megabus ticket!!

winning a $200 gift certificate to Toys R Us in a coloring contest when i was 12 years old. can you imagine what that must have felt like? to walk into a toy store as a kid in be able to get pretty much ANYTHING YOU WANTED?? and this was in 1994! $200 in 1994 is like 10.4 million today, easy.

i have never felt that kind of euphoria since. ever.

like a 5. 6+ when i clean up.

i'll be there Octember never-third. when are u gonna move the frick out of Mayberry and live someplace cool??

because:

i drink brown liquor
im addicted to the history channel
im all types of witty
i have a girly walk
i dont cook, but can make you forget about all that real quick
im humble.

in a nutshell.

PUT THE PUSSY ON A GOLDEN CORRAL BUFFET

cause i'm cleaning up and doing laundry and there's only so much fun that can be had doing either thing.

doubtful. only reason im not saying never here is because you're never supposed to say never.

but how they say never say never, when they know that ain't right/cause to say 'never say never' you done said never twice? (c) mos def

went to my best buddy's parents' bbq. and made out a little bit. not with the parents. and not at the bbq.

i started writing when i was 8 years old--my 2nd grade teacher had use keep journals. that's where it started. as a kid i was VERY very very shy and introverted, and it was always easier to express myself via the written word, so id do that whenever i was upset or happy or sad or whatever. i first realized that writing was something that was also actually fun and made me feel good outside of therapeutic reasons when i was in middle school, and realized that i had a talent for it when my teachers began accusing me of plagiarism, lol. but i think my love of it first started the moment i learned how to read; i remember rushing home with the first book i ever learned to read all by myself and sitting down with a piece of paper and just copying the words from the book because it felt good. it was fun, yeah, but beyond that it just *felt* good.. im not sure how to explain it.

i can never remember all my favorite writers/influences, but some, in no particular order, are vladimir nabokov, edgar allen poe, ralph ellison, mark twain, my mother, and tina fey.

my dad. he's in afghanistan :-/

LOL WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

absolutely. balance is important in life, even with things that look/taste/feel good. like the buddhists say: "everything in moderation, including moderation.

i wont say i wont try it one day. i can see how it probably feels good but all i can think about is the pain that must happen the first time/first couple of times. so right now, you can play on the porch but youre not comin in.

because they white.

i was being silly, though.

not a damn thing.

white.

the whale represented nature--its power, might, unpredictability--and man's obsession with owning, controlling and harnessing that power in the quest to conquer immortality. or to at least be the baddest motherfucker on the planet.

lol u said dick.