Boxers are handy for making cats look like they're wearing shorts when paired with sunglasses, while briefs on a dog's head guarantees you hilarious pictures to post on the internet.

That's totally what you were asking, right?

Probably who you tell what you know and how you tell them.

Just to confuse you.

YOUR mum. Yeah, I went there.

My daddy was actually made from chips. True story.

You totally asked me this before. http://www.formspring.me/benborthwick/q/652888431

Have I changed my mind since then or am I a piece of rope? No, I'm a frayed knot.

I once was going to decline,
Your offer of a limerick this time,
But because I'm an ass,
And a simple no wouldn't pass
So instead I offer a limerick of mine.

Your Mum might say it is, but it isn't. It's your grandma.

Man, deep question is deep.

I can't say I have a crystal clear picture to be quite honest, I'd love as I suppose anyone else would to be fairly comfortable and successful in my career, perhaps being fairly well respected and known amongst my peers and others and that I continue to improve my writing. If I get to be as prolific as the bigger name writers like Kieron Gillen etc that would be fantastic, but at the same time realism (or pessimism) keeps me grounded to the point where I'd be happy to be a fairly regular name on the 'circuit' as it were.

But I'd like to think I might be in a senior writing role by that point - perhaps even Editorial, but currently I'm not really that familiar with that side of things yet.

Not that. No, no that either. Or that. Stop guessing.

Now that's made my pet Grue hungry, just when I've run out of victims to throw into the dark and steal their torches. :(

Read.

No, seriously. Read like crazy, especially writers whose work you enjoy. Try and figure out what you enjoy about that person's work, see the tricks they use and the styling that they employ. Plagiarize these things furiously. (The techniques, not the content unless you like pissing people off...) At the same time though, try and add your own personal 'thing' into the mix to give yourself a distinctive style. Don't worry too much if this doesn't come straight away, it's something that will naturally come with practice - the more you write.

Set yourself challenges as well. It's all well and good if you can write a five-hundred page essay on why, say Half Life 2 is the best game in the world. But can you do that in five hundred words? Can you do it in fifty? Bigger isn't always better and don't be under any impression that bigger words means someone's a better writer - the best of them can say the same thing more succinctly.

Most of all, be receptive to criticism. I don't mean the rubbish from internet commentators with their "OMG THIS SUX LOL" - if you're writing for a good outlet/publication, the editors will point out faults and problems if there's something wrong with what you're writing. Don't be afraid to ask for advice if you need it from them or other writers. Also don't be afraid to look back on your older stuff and determine what you liked and don't like about it. Then do more of the former and less of the latter.

At the end of the day, you can only improve by doing. So don't be afraid to keep trying and don't suddenly think you've done enough once you are getting paid. Would I say I'm a great writer? No way, not in any sense - to the point where I'm not sure I'm really qualified to be answering this question. But I appreciate being asked immensely.

Is there ever?

I'd like to make the excuse that with on demand television and the internet, there being nothing on the usual television is just a result of the networks not having to offer anything on the normal schedules because we can watch whenever.

I'd LIKE to say that. We all know it's just because good television is few and far between. I do most of my television watching either on demand or from DVD boxsets these days.

I think I felt very similar really. The challenges were quite a nice touch but I think ultimately it felt a little too frustrating and shallow as it went on. Of course I should point out I haven't completed it yet either, I think I've got about halfway through and haven't felt the need to return to finish it for a while.

Saying that, I wasn't a massive fan of Braid either but I did finish that. So if someone asked me which I thought was the better game I'd be hard pressed to give a definitive answer. I think Braid pips it, just because it was at least straightforward enough to basically finish if you didn't care about getting all the extras.

I reserve the right to change my mind on a whim though, if I ever replay the two/finish Winterbottom in the near future.

As of right this second as I answer this, it would be Left 4 Dead 2 on his (gasp) 360 - I was helping my friend with some achievements he'd not yet managed to get.

On PC, the last game I played was The Misadventures of PB Winterbottom, because it was super-o cheap on the Steam Sale.

Sometimes I wish my motivations were more exciting, for example having to FINISH A GAME OR THE BEES ARE RELEASED FROM THE GIANT LASER EYE CAT but I'm afraid the reality frequently disappoints. However, I do feel some games journo appraisment centres would benefit from said Laser-Eye-Bee-Cat-Encouragement Program.

What a shame.

Probably the point where I first discovered the time machine to convince my earlier self that it was, in fact, genuine.

I don't think I have one specific pun that I would call a favourite, but I have read some greats. I do have a thing for over-elaborate ones though. I also love inflicting torture on others with the bad ones. So you know, swings and roundabouts with SPIKES OF METAL DEATH TORTURE AND FLAME ON THEM.

It reminds me of the time I entered ten puns into a joke competition for my local newspaper. I had hoped that one of them would be good enough to win the compeition, but no pun in ten did.

Hmm toughie.

I wouldn't necessarily correlate time spent on a game to how much I liked it, otherwise the fact I've clocked up nearly one hundred hours on Modern Warfare 2 would indicate I think it's the best of all time. I do not think this.

I have however, played a metric fuckton of plastic instrument games, especially Rock Band 2. Although ironically enough I still haven't (and will probably never get) the Endless Setlist or Bladder of Steel achivements. But that's probably the game I've felt like I've invested the most time into in the last few years.

Sadly, Edinburgh in one direction and Jersey in the other is about as far as I've gone.

Never been abroad (unless you count Jersey as abroad), but would like to.

Water, a fire extinguisher and the handle to the fire escape.

Probably.