When things begin to feel like they're going south, my immediate response is to attempt to minimize the level of messiness potentially caused by a breakup. If this isn't possible, I at least do my best to remain composed. I take a time out from events and things to collect myself and assess practical variables, such as a shared living situation or dealing with a shared social circle.

Following that, I focus my attention on other matters such as work or travel and throw myself into these things. If the need arises to emotionally overflow, I write or paint or break things or shoot targets, depending on what seems suitable. But I give these activities a specific time line, too. I don't want to fall into a cycle of despondent rolling around in my misery. That is not living, and I refuse to die.

It is difficult, but I work to remind myself to shift my attention to living and my own self-fulfillment, which can seem impossible at first, as a relationship tends to change the way you do things and the motivators behind your actions. In time, the sideblinders come off, focus expands, the pain subsides.

Whatever you do, do not make contact with the person in question or seek them out online. Every new beginning must have a proper end and that end requires that you accept that it's over. If the other person won't let you do this, you must take it upon yourself to create that distance. You cannot live a half-life. If it's over, cold turkey is the only way to play it.