Like sex ed, only better. Ask me, darling!
When things begin to feel like they're going south, my immediate response is to attempt to minimize the level of messiness potentially caused by a breakup. If this isn't possible, I at least do my best to remain composed. I take a time out from events and things to collect myself and assess practical variables, such as a shared living situation or dealing with a shared social circle.
Following that, I focus my attention on other matters such as work or travel and throw myself into these things. If the need arises to emotionally overflow, I write or paint or break things or shoot targets, depending on what seems suitable. But I give these activities a specific time line, too. I don't want to fall into a cycle of despondent rolling around in my misery. That is not living, and I refuse to die.
It is difficult, but I work to remind myself to shift my attention to living and my own self-fulfillment, which can seem impossible at first, as a relationship tends to change the way you do things and the motivators behind your actions. In time, the sideblinders come off, focus expands, the pain subsides.
Whatever you do, do not make contact with the person in question or seek them out online. Every new beginning must have a proper end and that end requires that you accept that it's over. If the other person won't let you do this, you must take it upon yourself to create that distance. You cannot live a half-life. If it's over, cold turkey is the only way to play it.
I'm suspicious of men who tell me they've never tasted their own cum. It's not a deal-breaker, but it does make a statement about the man in question. Immediately upon hearing this, I conclude he's fairly vanilla and is likely to be squeamish about things, or at least hesitant to explore. These assumptions are not always correct, but it does raise a red flag.
Now, I don't need a man to proclaim he loves chugging his cum, either, but if he refuses to kiss me after I swallow? That's a deal-breaker.
So, to answer your question -- and I'm assuming that by "had a guy swallow his own load" you are referring to snowballing -- I did engage in the practice back in the day before I decided to rule out men who refused to kiss me after fellatio, in protest. These days, I'm quite greedy with the cum of the man with whom I'm involved and much prefer to take it all for myself -- following adequate testing, of course.
I think women are beautiful, but I'm not really turned on by visual things unless it's a close up of a dick going in an orifice -- and this only when I'm in the mood for porn.
Really turning me on usually involves giving me a brainjob. Sparring around and around -- that's what gets me going.
That and adrenaline rushes. Love those.
The golden shower, to me, represents the ultimate act of ownership. As animals in the wild marking their territory, a person pissing on another is staking a claim. It's the kinky equivalent of a wedding ring times a hundred. I wouldn't do it with anyone I hadn't given myself to for this reason.
Because of this significance with which I have imbued the activity, I find it deeply compelling. It's not something I crave, but it is certainly something charged with power given the right circumstances. Do I have recommendations on the matter? Avoid doing it or having it done to you on the carpet or bed.
I'd have bullwhip made of cum -- a lot like the lasso of Takashi Murakami's Lonesome Cowboy (http://wiredvision.jp/news/200804/2008040820-5.jpg) -- only instead of being made of my cum, the bullwhip would be made of the cum of all the men who receive my come hither look.
I started with the Pearl Butterfly, a multi-speed vibrator with a clitoral stimulator and that worked fairly well for me as a jump off point (you can watch a video demonstration here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwKJapL7CWI).
My suggestion is to ask yourself what area you'd most like to explore stimulating: clit, ass, vagina, g-spot, two at a time, and so on. Then hit up a toy shop online like Toys in Babeland or Eden Fantasys, run a search for that zone you're interested in stimulating and start browsing.
If you see something you like, read some reviews and see what other people have to say about it. If you don't run across any deal-breakers, go ahead and make the order. The real fun's just starting!
Make sure you've got the batteries ready and waiting!
A woman can make a man do anything. There are many things she shouldn't try to make a man do, however, and a mistress understands this. The biggest danger of an affair is that of attachment. You will love -- I would pity a woman who didn't -- and because you love, you will want all of him.
But it is not your place to make any such demand or attempt to induce a separation. Divorce, even if he is not happy in his marriage, is an incredibly painful process; severing ties isn't something that happens only between spouses. It affects their children and their respective families as well. It alters lives dramatically in irreversible ways.
A change this big, this painful, this intense must only be taken by someone who wants that for himself, not because someone else demands it of him. And he must certainly not be thrown into it by some clever scheme or act of manipulation.
Further, I would suggest any mistress who finds herself with a man considering divorce to take a step back and let him draw his own conclusions and navigate these difficult waters on his own.
I suggest you do it with someone you're comfortable with, not someone you want to impress. Start with foreplay. Pace yourself, listen to her cues, try a few positions, and enjoy yourself. Talk, spoon, sleep, go again. Remember, practice makes perfect.
Oh, and be safe.
If I were a villain, a triple-action vibrator would render me useless.
There are many toys available in this category, but I suggest the Triple-Action Seahorse (http://www.edenfantasys.com/vibrators/rabbit-vibrators/triple-action-seahorse) for beginners because the anal stimulator is separate from the main shaft, which enables easy penetration.
Some of the other available models of dual- and triple- stimulators have the anal stimulator or shaft attached to the main one (see the Crystal Flex, http://www.edenfantasys.com/vibrators/rabbit-vibrators/waterproof-crystal-flex), which can make it difficult to insert if you're not more experienced.
These models do have fairly small anal stimulators, however, so if you're into a bigger anal experience, you're better off looking at no-frills double-penetrators (like this one by Doc Johnson: http://www.edenfantasys.com/vibrators/double-penetration/wireless-double-penetrator) and stimulating yourself clitorally with something like the Pleasurezone clitifier (http://www.edenfantasys.com/vibrators/clitoral-stimulators/pleasurezone-slim-contoured-clitifier).
I've yet to see a double-penetrator that would please a true size queen, though.
1. I'd masturbate and then measure how much I cum. And taste it, of course.
2. I'd get a multi-dimensional blowjob: with hands, first dry, then really wet and sloppy, try biting, deep-throat, making the giver gag, cry. Teabagging, of course, lots of ball massaging. It would involve two partners, probably, a woman and a man, to see who sucks me off best.
3. I'd have vaginal sex. And probably time myself.
4. I'd have anal sex.
5. I'd stick my dick in a warm apple pie. In a strawberry milkshake. Slather it in peanut butter. Whatever else I can think of that feels like a good idea.
6. I'd swordfight. Then challenge my opponent to see whose cum goes further. I may involve a target like a bull's eye.
7. See how many girls I can get to give me their numbers at a club, and how many will go home with me.
8. Go to a strip club and properly stimulate the economy.
9. Find the straightest man who's ever fucked me and I'd bend him over and do him mercilessly.
10. Try to give myself a blowjob.
11. Golden shower.
12. Tie up a girl all pretty shibari and host a bukkake party with every man I've ever known.
I might need more than one day, I realize. Might.
Quite a few. But I'll tell you a secret: it's not about how many times. It's about how long he can go each time.
Become a historian, specializing in Spanish imperialism.
I would scream. Then I'd seek medical assistance.
No correlation with feet, hands or nose. But I have noted on a few occasions that thin men tend to have penises that are much larger in size than those of men who are average weight or heavier.
How about describing some of the things you want done to you? Dirty talk is a great opportunity to introduce new things you want to try or are curious about, or just reinforce what you want from your partner.
I've asked this question of several of my friends in the world of modeling and adult entertainment and concluded that the general experience seems to be like my own: the rush of center stage is different than the rush of sexual arousal.
I'm not saying being watched can't be arousing -- there are a lot of people who can be turned on by the experience of being watched and desired -- I have become aroused being watched in some situations with a partner or alone, but as it regards modeling and stripping, these are jobs first and foremost, and a pageant is a competition.
Consider for a moment the full picture in each of these situations:
A model strutting the runway was just in a room crazier than a hive with people doing all manner of things at once, from makeup to hair to arranging the pieces on her. No sooner has she walked the runway and back that she's thrown into the madness once more to prepare to walk again.
I don't remember feeling particularly erotic during shows. There was always some degree of anxiety, text messages flying back and forth, confusion in regard to some aspect of the presentation, people yelling and freaking out about things going as planned -- it can be so high-stress as to actually neutralize any desire.
An interesting aspect of stripping is that people are actually watching you -- as opposed to runway, where it's all about the clothes, where a woman is essentially a walking clothes hanger. It's all you up there and that's much more conducive to arousal -- until you consider that unlike modeling, most strippers (I don't include pornstars who do tours of clubs) don't get paid to do shows. They have to pay to strip at most clubs; they get no salary and keep only the tips they make on stage and from dances. Being on stage for them is about profit. They're much more likely to be thinking about how to maximize the results they get from a set, whether in terms of tips made there, or securing dances for later by using stage time to get the attention of people in the audience.
And lastly, in the case of a beauty pageant contestant, where the main goal is winning in a very cut-throat environment, a woman tends to be more concerned with her preparation and what other contestants are doing than the pleasure of being center-stage.
Having said all that, the rush of being at the center of the room is a force in itself. Any performer will agree that there is nothing quite like being up there. And there isn't. I just wouldn't describe it as arousing -- and haven't met anyone who can honestly say that they do.
I'm extremely fluid sexually, which means I can flow from one type of experience to another with ease, so for me, it's always more about whether the partner I'm with inspires toy usage.
Some people lend themselves very well to toy play, some do not. It's about reading who you're with. Knowing your partners well also means knowing just what kind of toy to introduce to your sexcapades.
A simple rule of thumb: never use the same toy with another person -- unless, perhaps, you introduced it to both parties at once. And be sure that you clean and store them properly.