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Thats a hard one cause 99 percent of the time I dont regret anything I do. I live my life to the fullest as cliche and lame as that sounds but If I had to really think... I would say my biggest regret of 2012 was giving up too easy/soon. Decipher that how ever you like.
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My question for you though is, who do you think I am? I mean, sometimes I purposely make it like that though. You cant put all your cards on the table at once. Am I sincere? Yes sure, but I think in order for you to see the man, you want to see, you would need to wait. I am not gonna just give you what you ask at first, of course. But once I do, I can be whatever you want. Not a good enough reason to hesitate though.
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I think soo.
But wait what kind of help? I think if you are referring to my nerves, the sense of sometimes being really overwhelmed, my pushing people away, my anxiety that occurs at least 7 times a week, the constant fear I will be alone forever, then yes I need help. But if you are referring to my bouts of ‘insanity’, my closed off feelings, then no I do not need help.
Okay let me explain. You see young tired antelope, in everyone’s life we experience too much for our minds to handle and then our minds dont know what to do this information so we either forget it or get depressed cause we know too much. But in my case I experienced too too much and instead of actually forgetting, I did the smart thing and pushed it to the back of my mind because I had too much information thrown at me at once so I kept doing it and well it came to that point where I didnt know if I was doing it on purpose or if it was just a habit. I did this though, so I could access these thoughts whenever I wanted, just by simply unlocking them when I please. I guess what I am trying to say is that, to a normal mind, a normal virgin mind, perhaps a mind that doesn’t know how to push things to the back of their mind, to them I resemble a mad men, an insane individual with the small case of being delusional, and I could understand where you are coming from. But I think too much about everything, about the outcomes of events, about the outcomes of those outcomes of events that it becomes normal for me, to do so.
You see I am not normal like you or generic or easy to figure out, to you I may be some insane person who ‘needs help’ but I have seen the light.. And no not that fictional Jesus light but rather the light of realization and it resembled a streak of blue and red but more importantly, this realization was that, I am not afraid of who I am, of who I become, what the thoughts I have access too, I am not running from my mind but rather embracing what I have. That’s where mostly everyone in this world goes wrong, we all run from what we have in our minds, as if its scary but once you embrace what you have.. Then…. Then it becomes fun.
Running from your mind is what makes you insane. You are not embracing who you are because you were some how brainwashed to societies ‘normal’ way of living, soo when you all of a sudden start to feel and think ‘out of the box’ it makes you question life. You start taking routes like suicide and drugs to get further and further away from your “scary” minds and that’s normal.. A lot of people do that. But like I said I am NOT normal. Too you I seem insane but I am probably more sane then you ever will be, so in a way, you are the insane person in the end and yet you dont even know it.. Poor antelope with the broken leg. If you need help, I’ll be here, I’ll bondage you up with sponge bob band aids.
The worst kind of death is when you die inside and not even realize it. -
mmmm good idea, i am just not sure if people want to listen to me rant. Sometimes it depends on the angle and light of the camera and mood and such. I dont know. We shall see though. Maybe Il make something out of Adventures With Atown. With only 5 episodes left, I am sure I will think of something to take its place.
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SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. Now stop asking! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGCxb1o_1dU
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haha well thank you kindly. I need to work on my self shot camera angles and you will get more of me. Thanks anon. This will be noted.
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You asked for it, you got it! Here is episode 3! (Come back to my channel every friday). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4m334r3on8
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A lay under the summer stars with milkshakes, a nights swim with a few drinks and a cuddle or a movie and a cuddle,
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haha okay, well if i have enough footage (at least 11 minutes every friday) then i will be sure to make more... And i am pretty sure they will get better. This is only my first week here so many more festivals and cool things to conquer. I am glad someone enjoyed it. Thank you soo much. I appreciate it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqSW6yBuKu4 -
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I take it you didnt get enough hugs in your life huh? Thats sad. Its okay, Il give you a hug if you must need one. :)
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I dont understand the point of this message.
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Her collar bones. The way she bats her eyelashes. Her smile even when she is trying to hide it. The way her lips look when she is thinking. Her eyes when she is secretly trying to glance at me. Her nervous rambling and her nervous laughs. The way she looks when she is sad. The way she looks when she is happy. Her back. Her excitement. Her subtle tries at being closer to me. When she bites her lip. Her moans during sex. Her temper. Her heavy breathes when she orgasms. Her legs. The feelings she gives me when I am around her. The way she cares and appreciates. Her dress. Her hands. Her hair. Her jeans. Her butt. Her eyes. Her vibe.
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Does that mean I just sent that^ too?.... INCEPTION!
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Shyun Atown’s Bio
i want to slay my demons but i've got lots of them, i've got lots of them.
