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It's a matter of individual preference. I believe I HAVE made the right choice in engaging a helper to assist me with my domestic chores. That IS the main focus anyway - to get someone to help me out with the daily housework. With all the help I can get in getting my housework done, makes it all the better (and easier) for me to focus on my kids' upbringing. Just think of it like...smart-sourcing. :)
Having my helper look after the kids is just a subset of it, and is also necessary. When P and I fall ill, and needed to isolate ourselves from our kids just so they don't catch our cold / flu / cough / etc..., who can we rely on in getting our kids fed / bathed / etc...? When we're both out at work and our kids need to be in school in the afternoon, who can we rely on to send and fetch them to and from school? In such cases, I'm glad I have a helper to assist us, because it only makes sense to do so.
In fact, till now, P and I still make it a point to bathe our kids ourselves everyday (with the exception of us being sick, or when we have guests at home). We still do the "running after our kids" when we're out and about in malls, parks, or wherever (I've heard of, or known, in many cases, this is a task for the helper, but I digress).
We still feed the kids before ourselves when we dine out, while our helper eats her meal (so that when she's done, she can help keep an eye on them while we eat). If people were to see that we're happily eating while the helper keeps an eye on the kids, I'm sure they'll talk. BUT WHO CARES? Do they know that we've done our part by feeding them? Do they know that the helper is done with her food? I bet they don't.
One thing is for sure, sitting with the kids to do homework, revision, storytelling is primarily the job of parents, and no domestic helper should be in a position to do this.
Being a working mother, I can only do so much within my capability. I am not a super-mother. I did try to bring all three kids out on my own, but HOW I ended up being sane after that is still beyond me. -
You won't believe this but that would be sucking chili sauce right out of those small chili packets. At times, I'd pour out chili sauce from the bottle into a bowl/plate and savor it as it is, with a spoon. Because I'm weird like that.
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I really love my name, and I don't think I would ever change it for the world! BUT if I HAD to, then my best bet would be to name myself Maiya or Maria. It has to start with 'M'.
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Simply put: Evolved. How so, you ask? Let's compare.
Just Married:
- Time spent to shower is about an hour or more.
- Time spent to put on make-up and blow-dry hair takes about 2 hours.
- Most of my salary goes into buying lots of stuff for myself.
- Carefree to go wherever I want with spouse. No curfew to beat.
- Spend a fair bit everyday gazing at my other half.
- When I found out I was pregnant, I cannot wait to wear maternity clothes (At least those baggy T-shirts that fit comfortably)
After 1 kid:
- Time spent in shower is cut down to 30 minutes.
- Time spent to put on make-up is reduced, i.e: apply light make-up quickly. Takes into careful consideration in managing foundation application with one hand and carrying baby in the other.
- Half of my salary spent on buying stuff for my kid, remaining 30% on my own bills and 20% on myself.
- Place my kid at my parents' when spouse and I go out. Ensure we don't beat the curfew (to fetch her home) otherwise Mom will start to nag.
- Spend a fair bit everyday gazing at my kid and adores her to bits.
- Attempt to wear regular clothes as much as possible, yet try to look like a decent mother.
After 3 kids:
- What shower? (ok, kidding!) I think my shortest unbeaten record would be to shower + put on make-up + blow-dry hair in 15 minutes!
- Have I mentioned at times no make-up?
- 60% of my salary spent on my bills/insurance/loans, 20% on my kids (I've got hand-me-downs, haven't I?), and 10% on my car. Do I spend anything for myself? Ok, sometimes (Thank god for bonuses!)
- Don't even think about putting all 3 kids at my parents' at one go (they'll go crazy! Or otherwise complain about how tired they get looking after them, etc...) Hence, the need for FDW to help keep an eye on them so we can go out on dates for sanity sake.
- Spend a fair bit everyday trying to HIDE from the kids (Ok lah, not all the time, but at times).
- My maternity clothes ARE my regular clothes (just because they hide my fats nicely). -
Vampire FTW! But I'd love to be one who dates a werewolf. Ahwoooooo!
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Um, only one ah? But I have so many! *lol*
I would say, be more thrifty and live with less. It's kind of habitual for me to splurge on stuff, and I think last year I kind of went overboard with my spending; swiping cards like nobody's business, as though money grows on trees. I guess today if I could change that, I'd probably be able to better manage my finances and save up more for my family. And probably be able to live my dream of yet another European holiday, this time with my husband and kids in tow (as long as it doesn't create yet another viscous cycle of extravagantness and bring me back to square one). -
Very much right-handed from the start. But at times I surprise myself at how my left hand works better than my right.
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‘Aprima’ is nothing but a concoction of both my name and my husband's name. ‘Apri’ being the shortform for Shafri, and ‘Ma’ being the shortform for Maisarah, my full name. It was only much later that I discovered ‘Aprima’ is actually a medication related to erectile dysfunction :/
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It was on his 25th birthday at a chalet. I wasn't his invite. It was through a good friend who had asked me to tag along one fine Saturday in 1996 that gives me the chance to get to know him. :)
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With a whole lot of perseverance. Sometimes I tend to get too focused with work, so I'll make sure I make up for lost time with my husband, kids and parents. As important as my career is to me, family always takes precedence.
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