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All responses Most smiled responses
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Lassie.
-Yohann ):D -
I have struggled a bit with this concept of a "good Christian." Well, not so much the concept, but how to put this all into words. So, let's just see how this goes:
The idea that there is a "good Christian" by default means that there must be a "bad Christian" in order to have some sort of level in which to judge yourself. This can be verrrry dangerous road to start heading down.
Romans 3:23 tells us that "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." so, by that standard, none of us are worthy of God's love, grace, and mercy. So to start comparing ourselves to other Christians, for any reason, is not the way to do it. We will always find someone that does something "Christianly" better than we do.
Many sing better than I do. Does that make them better Christians? No.
Many read their Bibles more than I do. Does that make them a "better" Christian?
No. but why? Are those bad things?
No. Simply put, being a Christian means that you are a follower of Christ. One of the single best things about having a relationship with Christ is that it is a very personal relationship. It is between me and Jesus, and Jesus meets me exactly where I am. He doesn't compare me to Lindsey, and say "Why don't you play keyboard like she does???" (or anyone else for that matter- we all have strengths and weaknesses within ourselves.)
Instead, He looks at my heart, my concerns, and my struggles. He works with me, based on me and where He wants to take me.
I love that! I don’t have to compare myself to other Christians. If I am seeking to follow Christ, and growing in my personal walk with Him, then I am right where I should be.
So, all that to say: Only you can answer if you are growing in your walk with Jesus. Ask Him to show you some areas where you can grow some more. He'll show ya, if you are serious about growing
For the rest of your question, check out what Lindsey wrote. Cause it’s pretty much what I had written (even down to the car I the garage analogy, lol)
and much like Lindsey, if you want to get together and chat about any of this stuff, I can make myself available to you. Don't feel like you are the only one that struggles with things, and please don't let these feelings drive a wedge between you and God.
-Eddie -
Lindsey is pretty awesome!
-Yoahnn -
First of all-I'm super sorry I haven't answered sooner--don't think your question doesn't matter at all!! With my brother's wedding and finals coming up, I simply lost track of time. I love you bunches!!
You have asked a very big question, and an honest question I think a lot of people wrestle with but are too afraid to ask. Kudos to you for being brave enough.
"Burn out" can happen to anyone, but it's more common when you're involved in a lot of ministries (that's why it's super important we give our pastors time off to be able to get in the Word for their own spiritual lives instead of for sermons and stuff). That being said, look at what you're doing in the church. Are you involved in a ton? Maybe it would be wise to seek a break for a little while--service that's tired and half-hearted isn't helping as much as it would be if you just took, say, a month off to refresh and realign your heart.
One thing we can learn about Jesus' ministry was that he regularly took time to himself to be alone and pray (Mark 1:35, Luke 6:12, Luke 22:39 shows that Jesus had a custom of going to the Mount of Olives to pray). If we're not taking time to get alone with Jesus, we're going to burn out, fast. We can't do ministry in our own strength, not like God wants it done at least. Sure, we can go through the motions, but we'll miss the heart of it all if we're not diligent in keeping our own spiritual life where it should be.
As for church making you sad, I'm inclined to ask what kind of sadness. Is there something in the church you see that isn't Biblical and would make God sad? If you think there is, pray about it, and talk to a leader about it.
One thing that can make us sad at church is when we hear things from the Bible that we know we're not living up too--it's called "Conviction." For instance, if you hear a sermon or lesson on how it's wrong to steal and you're sitting there chewing gum you stole yesterday, yes, church is going to make you sad because it's going to make you feel guilty. If this is the sad you're feeling, it's a good sad if it drives you to God!
2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT) says: "For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death."
So basically, what Paul is saying, is that when you realize you're sinning, you're going to feel "sad"--you'll be sorrowful. What you do with that sorrow either leads you to God and growth or it leads you further into sin by ignoring the Holy Spirit's conviction.
If you're feeling this kind of sad, this conviction when you realize your life isn't what it should be, that's a good thing, if you're willing to use that to work towards getting where God wants you to be. Take a walk and just talk it out with God. Apologize for missing the mark (which is the literal definition of "sin"), ask him for help to live like he wants you to live. Don't be afraid to talk to Kelsy, Monica, Eddie, or myself about whatever you're struggling with. Other Christians are here to help each other get through life--and don't worry, we're not going to be judging you.
As far as not wanting to go to church in general, remember there will be times when you will not *feel* like going to church. It's in those times that worship does become a sacrifice--something that isn't easy but you know is still the right thing to do--like Hebrews 13:15 says. You won't always feel like serving your mom or dad or sibling, but does that mean you shouldn't? It's in those times when we least want to do something that we most rely on God's strength to do it--and that's when we grow the most, too.
I've purposely avoided the "Am I a bad Christian?" question because going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car, to quote...someone. I will say that it sounds like there is a deeper issue behind your not wanting to go to church, and that is what you really need to work through. Is there something in the church that is going against the Bible? Are you uncomfortable from being convicted? Whatever it is, find someone you can trust and talk it out with them.
I've been where you are. I think if we were all honest with each other, a lot of us have been there. Feeling something isn't bad, just don't let your feelings dictate what you should do---that's God's job, and he'll give you guidance through his word. My advice would be to identify the underlying reason for not wanting to go, and start there.
Again, I'm sorry this took so long, but I love you bunches and am more than willing to talk with you about this or quite literally anything else :) I'll be home in a few weeks! We can go out to Starbucks or Jamba or DQ or something :)
much love!
-Lindsey
asdflkj
asdflkj -
ummm, this is pretty vague, but i'm gonna guess that you are referring to 2 Samuel 24, where Araunah (Yeah, I have no idea how to say that correctly) provided King David an ox to offer up as a burnt sacrifice to pay for David's sins.
One of my favorite lines in the Bible is here, as Araunah wanted to just give King David the ox, "But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” -2 Samuel 24:24
it is a great reminder that giving God our leftovers isn't good enough. Giving God that which doesn't cost us any time, energy, money, or whatever else we deem as important just isn't gonna cut it if we want a healthy relationship with Him.
-Eddie -
Heh. So i just realized that I didn't want to answer this question because I've been upset quite a lot lately. Ironic, Huh?
It is not bad to be upset.
God gave humans emotional capacity, and it is one thing that sets us apart from his other creations.
In Psalms, King David often poured out his (depressed) heart to God, making for some of my favorite verses in the bible and ones that I keenly identify with. David, despite making many mistakes and being emo, was called "a man after God's own heart".
I guess one key thing that we can learn from David about being upset and depression, is he didn't wallow in it.
He talked about it, wrote songs and poems about it, and got it OUT, and most importantly, talked to God about it.
This sets up a model for us as Christians. when we are upset, or depressed, we can't just sit in it. we need to tell someone- a close friend, a trusted adult, and/or God.
Jesus was human, too. he wept. as Lindsey pointed out, he also got ticked off. But he never let his sorrow or anger turn to self-pity, which is really a very big danger for us humans. I've also been struggling with that lately lol.
So. to remunerate ( i hope that's the right word), get your anger, hurt, sadness or whatever emotion you're feeling out. everyone has emotions, it's perfectly normal.
Talk to Jesus about them. also, talk to humans about them too. Write a poem, draw a picture, write a letter then burn it, anything to let those emotions out.
then, give your hurts to God. He is the only one who can take our pain and turn it into something beautiful.
If you remember nothing else, remember this:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. God loves you so much, and so do i... if ever you need someone to talk to, let me know.
~Monica -
*crawls out from books and midterm rubble* sorry, I was detained in my journey to answer your question by a gigantic fire-breathing midterm DRAGON! [oh yeah, and you thought Missouri was just snow!! :) ]
You have asked a really big question--I'll do my very very best to answer in a way that's clear and Biblical.
A lot of this depends on your definition of "upset."
Sad-No, it is not bad to be sad. Jesus was sad (John 11:33-35). Jesus doesn't want you to have to be sad, but of course it's going to happen. We live in a fallen world, sad times are going to come. The problem is when you wallow in it, allowing the sadness (and sometimes even just plain old self-pity) to keep you from doing what God wants you to do.
Angry-Jesus got angry (John 2)! The big thing here is that Jesus' anger was a *righteous* anger--he was angry about the things that make God angry. In Ephesians, Paul is talking about how we should act when we become a Christian, and the kinds of things we should leave behind.
"“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." -Ephesians 4:26-27.
The key here is what you do while you're angry. God doesn't want us to be angry for long, but to settle matters quickly (see Matthew 18:15-20 for handling conflicts with your Christian family). Anger causes division, and that's *not* what God wants to see in his children. Anger causes bitterness, which he specifically tells us to get rid of (Ephesians 4:31). So, anger in itself is not a sin--but it's what you do with and in that anger that could become sin. does that make sense?
Now, depression. I don't think it's a matter of Jesus frowning on depression as it is of him desiring SO much more for you. I'm not going to support or bash counseling, as each case is different and I think Christian counselors can be a GREAT tool in helping you fight depression. Just be careful that depression doesn't become self-pity. That is a really dangerous place to be, mainly because it's so hard to get out of. Bad stuff will happen in our lives, and we're going to get sad. That sadness may stick around for a while and lead to depression. But when you feel that depression, is it selfish? Are you depressed because this bad thing happened, or because it happened *to you*?
Jesus doesn't tell us not to be sad. But I think it makes him sad when we are, because he wants so much for us. God is our father. Think about it--do your parents enjoy it when you're sad? Do they get angry with you? I sure hope they don't! I think God is the same way. It makes him sad when we're sad and depressed. God wants us to be able to experience life more abundantly, more richly. God wants to give us joy, which we can't feel when we're depressed.
I'd encourage you to really pour your heart out to God. Tell him why you're upset. Tell him everything about the situation. Go over what happened, tell him how you feel, and tell him you're tired of being upset about it. Ask him for joy. Distract yourself whenever you start to dwell on whatever is making you sad. Praise God for his creation. Pray for someone who is going through a hard time (or even Japan--that place is in a horrible mess right now). By transitioning your focus from what's upsetting you to someone else's problem, your attitude and focus will change AND love will grow in your heart towards the thing you're praying for. It's a pretty neat trick--one I'm still learning to use effectively.
I hope that helped. *hugs* don't be afraid to let someone know if you're struggling with depression. We are a body, a community. We need to take care of each other.
-Lindsey -
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Part B: "I don't think I'm so great or beautiful."
I want to start this by telling you that you are not alone. Don't isolate yourself in this--Satan likes to tell us girls that we are the only ones who are insecure, and that we can't talk to each other about our burdens. That's such a LIE!!! That's directly opposite what God wants us to do (Galatians 6:2) but in the church that's how we feel we have to be a lot of the time--like we have to keep it all together. So props to you for being brave enough to say this here. I encourage you to find a woman you can trust to really talk this over with and who can help keep you on track. I'm all for it, just know it has to be electronic. Don't be embarrassed about it. You are not alone.
I made the mistake of not being open enough about this struggle when I was going through it, and for that reason I probably dealt with it far longer than I should have--it was that dirty little area of my life I didn't want to let anyone into. But yes, I, Lindsey Grant, struggled with this exact same question throughout higschool and even into college. Satan loves to destroy the confidence of God's daughters. The trick is not to believe his lies but to hold to God's truth.
THE LIE: I'm not beautiful
THE TRUTH: "For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. " -Psalm 139:13-14
^^You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God made your body so wonderfully unique and so wonderfully YOU! You are a one-of-a-kind daughter of the King, and no one will ever be like you! I mentioned in part A that God said all of His creation was GOOD-God didn't create woman and go "Aww stink, looks like I messed up this time..." NO! God was pleased with Eve, and He's pleased with how you look too.
You're probably thinking about all those girls on TV who are just SO perfect--my big ones were Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, blah blah blah. Newsflash--they're wearing TONS of makeup, they get paid to sit in a chair for like two hours and get the stuff painted on and their hair fixed just right. They're not real, their faces are totally fake. [I'm not condemning makeup, even though I personally believe you're beautiful enough without it, perhaps more so]. Nobody can look perfect all the time. And the people on magazines? Yeah, they're skinny. They're airbrushed, too. God has given each of our bodies a different "healthy" weight. Don't even worry about what size your jeans are as long as your body is HEALTHY.
But you know what? God isn't so concerned about how physically beautiful you are (1 Samuel 16:7) [even though He thinks you're FANTASTIC]. God cares SO much more about who you are inside--look!
"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." -1 Peter 3:3-4
"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." -1 Timothy 2:9-10
(note: these passages aren't condemning braiding your hair or wearing jewelry--in that culture those were signs of promiscuity. The point being made is that who you are is more important that how you look)
This idea is RADICALLY different from what our culture tells us, isn't it?! But that's what Christianity is SUPPOSED to be--radically different!!!!
So what now? I encourage you to spend some time in prayer. Tell God what you're feeling. And then listen. Read over these verses and let God speak to you. I'm totally serious, just get some alone time with God and be still, letting the truth sink into you. Maybe write any of these verses or any verse that will remind you how cherished you are to God on a note card and take it out and read it any time you start to feel less than beautiful. You have to fight lies with truth.
Maybe instead of taking a super long time to get ready, spend five minutes of that time reading your Bible or praying, or even singing along to some Christian music (boom, you can do that and get ready, and take your five minutes of Bible time. Perfect!). Those are fantastic ways to just focus yourself on what really matters.
Just know that God thinks your body is perfect, and that He wants your heart to be what you really worry about making beautiful. I want to encourage you to read the last half of Proverbs 31, but here's the verse I want to close with:
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." -Proverbs 31:30
-Lindsey -
This question kind of has a lot of different little things in it, so bear with me as I try to cover them all. I'll go over the hating yourself and deserved to be loved by God in this one, and put the beautiful thing in another one, just so this isn't super long.
So, part A.
"Is hating yourself like hating God's beautiful work"--in a short answer, yes, because God made you, so to hate yourself is to hate something God created--and God said that EVERYTHING He made was good (check out Genesis 1). The amplified Bible expands "good" to mean "pleasant" or "admirable." God was pleased with everything He created. And just because you weren't around during that creation week doesn't mean He's any less pleased with how you came out!!
"I don't think I...deserve to be loved by God."
Quite honestly, no one deserves to be loved by God. But the crazy part of it is that He still does. One of my text books here points out that Christ didn't die for us because we're so valuable--we're valuable BECAUSE Christ died for us. We didn't *earn* enough brownie points in God's eyes to make Him decide that yes, you could be saved. That's where it gets so hard for us to understand sometimes!! *Why* would God want to die for *me*?!
Think about it this way. Eddie, Monica, Kelsy and I will always love you. No matter what you do, we're going to love you and want to see the absolute best happen for you. But you decide that you don't want anything to do with us. Does that make us love you less? Abso-stinking-loutely not. Now take that love, and multiply it by about 90 bajillion, and you're getting close to an idea of how God loves you. You can't earn it. You simply can't. That's where grace and mercy come in. But I'm getting off topic..
Here, check these verses out:
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. -Ephesians 2:8-10
See, if we could *earn* God's love, that would make us some pretty prideful people. "Oh, you did two months on the mission field? Ha. I did two and a HALF. I've officially earned more of God's love than you have." Wouldn't that be awful?! Imagine if you had to constantly worry about pleasing me in order for me to love you. What kind of relationship would that be? How stressful and exhausting would that be? And, how long would it take before you just gave up?
God doesn't want that for you. He doesn't want you to be stressed or frustrated trying to earn His love. He wants you to simply receive it, and, in turn, give it out freely. And that's the beautiful part of God--his completely undeserved love washing over us by nothing we can do to earn it. Pretty awesome, hu?
-Lindsey -
Simply put- Evolution is anti-bible.
but why?
Evolution says that life is an accident. It says that we just happened into existance because of a puddle of slime. It tells us that the slime became human over millions and millions of years of changing. It's loveless. It's has no reason. Its has no purpose. No rhyme or reason, just a bunch of organisims bouncing around the planet for no reason at all.
Christians, through faith in God, Jesus, and His word know it a bit differently:
-In Genesis, Moses gives us the creation story. He tells us that God created the earth just for us, that He created us to have fellowship with Him and gives us jobs and responsibilities for while we are here.
-God tells us that before we were born, He knew us, and had a plan for our lives. (Jeremiah 1)
-Jesus tells us that He came so we may have an abundant life. (John 10)
These (plus much, much more) give our lives purpose and meaning. It gives us a reason for being here. It tells us that we weren't just an acident that happened by random chance, but that a creator put effort and thought into our very existance. I love that thought!
And Pastor D can answer this better than I can, but he loves to tell how the earth is absolutely perfect for us. The earth is the perfect distance from the sun, at the perfect tilt and angle, with the moon in the perfectly right spot to keep everything working together- all to make earth the perfect place for us to live. in my opinion, that is way to many 'perfect's to have happened by chance. God's Intelligent Design put us here. God's perfect love keeps us going.
-Eddie -
actually, I prefer BUFFALO wings....
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-Yohann -
Well... That's the kicker. You see, None of us deserve to be loved by God.
No one.
We all have rebelled against God. All of us at one point or another have shook our fists at God and said, "Screw you, I'm going my own way."
It sounds harsh, but it's true. We may have never said it in those exact words, but I'm afraid actions speak louder than words in this case.
Now there's also some good news.
God loves us. Period.
Not because of who we are, or what we accomplish, but because he has seen fit to love us dirty, snot-nosed humans so much that he died for us.
We can't earn His love, because it's already been given. We can only accept it. Or reject it.
In the Beginning, God created humans in his own image. which means that we humans are very special and beautiful in His sight. With this hand-print of God, he gave us the choice to accept his love. And unfortunately, when Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they chose to reject His love.
But God has never given up.
He still loves us desperately.
When we hate ourselves or others, we are going against something at the very core of God's nature: love.
Now. I'm going to be honest with you. A lot of times, I don't like myself. Sometimes, I even detest myself. But God tells us to love everyone Unconditionally. Everyone. Unconditionally.
That's the key.
God chases after us with unconditional love, despite all that we've done. And when we accept His unconditional love, he changes us, and puts His Love and Life into us.
So... Even when I don't like myself, I have to remind myself that God DIED for me. He loves me so much, and just as much as everyone else. When I don't love myself, I have to ask God to give me HIS love for myself. Because, let's face it, Monica-love won't change the world, or my heart. Only God's love will.
~Monica -
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God created us in His image and no matter what this world says about our outer appearance we are immensly beautiful. God doesn't create anything that isn't beautiful. No one is honestly worthy of Gods love but that is the amazing thing about God He loves us, He loves every aspect about us. Including out faults and misgivings, He loves us more than we can imagine. Satan is a very clever deceiver and puts negative thoughts into our heads and makes us believe that we should not be loved by our wonderful creator. It is hard in todays world to remember we are beautifully and wonderfully made! When you feel that way remember that is just a way Satan is trying to get you to doubt our wonderful and amazing God! You are beautiful and amazing and you completely deserving of our Gods love!
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I don’t think Jesus fits into a Republican/Democrat/Independent/etc. role, if that is what you are looking for. In fact, there are only a few things that come to mind when it comes to Jesus and politics:
-Folks were expecting the Messiah to come and set up a new earthly kingdom, and many were disappointed when that isn’t what He did.
-and then the passage in Luke 20: 25 where peeps were trying to trap Jesus by asking him about paying taxes- to which He replied "Then give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
Now, elsewhere, the Bible talks a bit about respecting the authority to which we are under. In Romans 13:1 it says, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”
Now, that doesn’t mean that Jesus or the Bible never talk about societal issues, many of which can be hot topics in today’s political culture:
-Moses tells us in Genesis 2:15 that God expects us to take of the earth.
-James (James 1:27) tells us that we are to take care of the widows and orphans (those that cannot take care of themselves.)
-The Bible is chock full of instances where forgiveness and reconciliation is more important than being right (‘turn the other cheek’ ring a bell? Matthew 5:38-44)
-2 Corinthians 5:12 talks about personal responsibility as it tells us that we will be judged for what we do, both good and bad.
-Luke 10:27 tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves- in other words, treat others as we want to be treated, not as lesser people.
There are lots of other things, but I hope that somewhat answers your question. If not, feel free to resubmit it with a bit more clarification of exactly what you are seeking. :)
-Eddie -
'Love' is a pretty tricky word.
In English, we use it to describe everything from our favorite tv show, to our favorite food, to our friends, to our spouses, an even to how our Creator feels about us. So much meaning and diversity all kept into one itty bitty word.
But back in Bible times, they had 4 words that mean the one word that we write as love:
Philia- friendship kind of love, Agape- Unconditional love, Eros- intimate marriage love, and Storge- the kind of love a family has for each other.
more on that here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love
My point here is that we often don't understand "love." It is awesome to love those in our lives, but the love that I have for pizza is nothing like the love I have for my sisters. I would not die for pizza. I would, however, die for my sisters. But I use the same word to describe both. Seems silly, huh?
so with that being said, it is easy for us humans to get confused between Philia love and Eros love- especially with someone we really admire or are close to. So what do you do? Well, first off, you need to ask yourself if you are ready to get married. If not, then dating should probably wait. I know my views are probably a bit old fashioned on that, but dating just to have a good time or have ‘fun,’ with no intent on a serious relationship (or with no intent on marrying the person you want to date,) is little more than you practicing how to end relationships later in life. I’ve even seen dating described as ‘practicing for divorce.’
Then, we have to examine what our motives are. Are your feelings for this other person real and genuine? Or is something else driving these feelings? A recent breakup, feeling lonely, peer pressure, or even simply lust are all circumstances that could push us to pursue someone out of our own selfish ambitions- but these aren’t healthy reasons to start a relationship with someone (there are many more bad reasons to start a relationship, those are just a few.)
If your feelings are genuine, then communication is key- as it is in any relationship. I feel silly writing this, ‘cause I absolutely stink at it, but if you want to pursue a relationship, you have to let the other person know. Playing games won’t work (no matter what your friends tell you.) Reverse psychology won’t work. You have to be honest with them and with your feelings, and if they feel the same way, then cool. If they don’t, then sorry. Unfortunately, just because you like someone it doesn’t mean they will like you in the same way in return (and yes, I used the word ‘like’ there and not ‘love.’ I don’t think it is possible to have Eros love, that’s the marriage kind of love, for someone that you haven’t had a relationship with yet- this kind of love is a growing kind of love, and is a conscious effort to love someone- in other words, it is much more than a feeling, it is a deliberate, intentional action.)
So all that to say that there is a big difference between ‘friend love’ and ‘more than friend love.’ And it often isn’t as easy as we think it should be to tell the difference. Lol :)
Hope that helps some, and be sure to read what Lindsey and Monica have written too. :)
-Eddie -
Ugh, if I could come up with a cut-and-dry formula for this, I'm pretty sure I'd win some kind of nobel peace prize or something...
I'm going to approach this as a girl, since that's the only experience I've got. (Sorry guys..) I'm also going to address this to the teenage age group, meaning not in college yet.
I have a very hard time using "more-than-friends love" to describe any emotion felt during adolescence. Many times what we think is "true love" during that crazy time in our lives just really isn't. And as girls, we think that any time a guy flirts with us, it means he wants to marry us and all that junk.
I hate to tell you this, but that's just not the way it works, especially in highschool. Guys don't realize how emotional we females are, and to them flirting is just something fun. They don't realize how much our hearts get into it.
At this point in your life, I just encourage you to be friends with someone. Take a lot of time to get to know them. Evaluate your friendship with them, like Monica said. And when you both mature more, ask yourself if that's someone you would honestly want to spend the rest of your life with.
There is nothing wrong with waiting to date! I have thanked God many times for not letting me be in a relationship yet--I know it would not have been the healthy thing for me to have dated someone yet because I would have relied on my boyfriend rather than God for my identity and worth. I encourage you to look at 1 Corinthians 13. That lays out what real love is, and, let's be honest, you're 99.99% likely to NOT find that in a highschool relationship.
When more-than-friends love comes, if you're a girl, the guy had better make it super obvious to you that he's intending to pursue you. And, if he gives you those signs and doesn't act on them? Drop him like yesterday's meatloaf sandwich. A guy who truly loves you will NOT mess with your heart. Don't tolerate it. You are the daughter of the King, and worth fighting for. Don't let anyone think he can mess with your head and get away with it.
So, if Monica's was fifty cents, does that make mine a dollar? Love you guys, and if this didn't make any sense..ask clarifying questions! :)
-Lindsey -
Well. That is a toughy.
In my personal experience, it all comes down to a decision.
I've definitely had times where I've wondered whether my friend-love was turning into more than friend love...
And... I basically had to decide whether I wanted to start thinking of this person as more than a friend, or pull back and readjust my viewpoint a bit, and focus on being "just friends".
On the other hand, there have been guys that I've had crushes on, and thinking of them in that way was causing problems. So, yet again, I had to talk with God and make a personal decision not to think of them in that way. Then, I gave all those feelings to God (a continuous thing, NOT a one-time thing), and eventually talking/spending time with that person was the same as spending time with any other guy.
So In other words, I guess I'm trying to say: don't let "fate" decide how you feel for another person. evaluate why you feel this way towards them. Would a relationship work? do they feel the same way about you? Or are you just craving a relationship, and it would most likely end up badly?
That's my two... or rather fifty... cents.
~Monica
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Yohann Sebastian Yac’s Bio
I'm a yak
Make sure you scroll down and read all the answers! Many questions are answered multiple times!!!
