Dear Snared,

I am very fond of movies. While my humble apartment boasts a highly enviable library of pirated DVDs, I find that my appetite for collecting is insatiable. Were it not for the gratuitous nature of my collecting, I have very little doubt that I would be without a penny to spare.

Although my schedule is horridly busy as of late due to drugs, I do still find time to allow myself the small pleasure of watching a buffoonish misrepresentation of reality intended to arouse and amuse its audience. As of late, my favourite has been Sharktopus, which I have no doubt my dear Evolved @ControlAndCare would recognise as being a film about the prosecution of superior life forms.

In closing, I would like to take this moment to thank you for your very thoughtful question.

Love,
Sara Whorewheat