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As of March 1, 2012, I'm replying to all my Formspring questions on my blog -- http://www.troyorleans.com/category/readblog/ until further notice. You can look for your question, and my response, under the category "Ask MTO." http://www.troyorleans.com/category/ask-mto/
You are welcome to ask any BDSM-related question, be it personal, philosophical, or procedural, anonymously using the Formspring interface. I check my inbox here several times a week and try to post an "Ask MTO" reply at least once a week.
I hope to hear from you! -
"Prefer"? Depends on my mood, depends on my partner's moods/needs. Sometimes the fun is in the interaction. Sometimes one or both of us wants to savor the action.
My play style is pretty organic and what I "prefer" has a lot more to do with who I'm playing with and what feels right than some kind of "I demand ___" type of domme nonsense.
Though, come to think of it, I do insist on eye contact more often than not. When it's available. Those "avert my eyes from the Mistress'" types make me uncomfortable. -
I assume you're talking about these: http://www.njoytoys.com/products/pureplugs.php
I have the Njoy plugs (and a couple of other pieces in my personal collection) and love them for their gorgeous design and packaging as well as their functional style. I've tried having play partners wear the plug for an extended time, including out to dinner, using a bit of cotton clothesline rope to make sure it stayed in place. It worked, but as I recall the protruding grip made it somewhat uncomfortable for sitting by most reports. And not in a good way. So I haven't tried it in a while. Maybe I need someone with a fleshier bottom or something.
The plugs ARE probably the most reliable in my collection for going in and staying in, particularly during upright bondage. Not 100%, but probably a good 60-70% of the time. If only it vibrated or could be electrified (yes, yes, I've heard you can get those things to conduct an ErosTek charge but it's yet to happen for me, okay?). -
Thanks! I'm just glad to finally have it done! (Well, mostly done. There are some fine tuning things left, but it's pretty much there.)
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I definitely see more bottoms than subs. I sorta think that most of my play partners are fairly submissive to me, but their submission is something that I've earned over time and not "submission" in a fetishistic sense. I'm rarely asking my play partners to do things they don't want to do or "forcing" them to "submit" to anything. Rather, it's that they give themselves over to me out of trust and respect and a passion for the journey that comes with good, intense, highly skilled play. Throughout my practice, I've always maintained that what I seek is not submission, but surrender.
What you're talking about in the "control being taken away" is, in my opinion, more physical/literal and less emotional/psychological than what I'm talking about above. I don't make someone kneel, tie his arms behind his back, and force him to fellate my strap on just because I can -- especially when neither of us are interested in any of that. But I will -- as I just described in the previous response -- hood you, bind you, and surprise you with something incredible and intense and maybe even a little painful that you've never asked for or even done before because I know you're going to love it. -
I wish I were more vocal in session. But I'm not. I'm not a mute either. I speak when necessary, make the occasional teasing observation, or tell you how excited I am. The narrative soundtrack though? Not so much. Play partners can speak as I do: to convey important information, make a wry observation (or respond to mine), and tell me how much they're loving it all.
The other night, I had a man hooded and bound flat on my bondage bed while I stapled his genitals into a mangina. When I sat him up to show him what I'd done, he exclaimed, "THIS is why I come here!" I loved that. -
Yes, actually. But just one. And just once. Which was fine. The offer to go shoe shopping and then bring the spoils back to the studio for worship is still on the table, whether it's a one-off or more of a regular thing. I love shoes. It's one of the few ways that I conform to gender stereotypes. ;-)
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There are new pictures up already. As for new blogs, maybe. Lemme get the site finished first, dude. Sheesh. Greedy.
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I run hot and cold about posting about my "in session genius" or, as the previous questioners asked, "what's making me drool" or "what's getting my gears going." I dunno. Sometimes it just makes me feel dirty, turning my passion into a consumable on demand like that. Like I'm feeding the Fapperazzi or something instead of just being in the moment and sharing something I'm excited about.
But do I think it's a good idea to quit advertising on Eros for a while and post more on my blog? Absolutely. :-) -
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Someone asked me this question more than a year ago. It's been sitting in my inbox all this time because, well, for a while I just couldn't answer it without sounding like a bitter, burned out domme. Truth is, around the time this question got asked, I kinda was.
Not anymore. I think, in part, because I did finally step away a little bit, recharge my batteries. I've been feeling pretty great about my practice, especially in the last several months. I've got more balance, been doing great play, connecting with some colleagues … it's been really good.
So to answer this question: Yes. I do work my ass off. I remember talking to a friend who's my age who'd retired at 30 after selling his internet company. He'd asked how things were going and I said, "Everything's going pretty good. Been working a lot. But you had your own business. You know what that's like." He nodded and said, "Yeah, but when I was pulling 80-100 hour weeks, I knew there was a liquidity event on the horizon. I don't think you have that in your business." Well, uh, no. Or subsidized health insurance. Or pension plans. Or matched 401Ks. Or sick leave. Or paid vacation days. Or even reliable session hours.
So there's that.
And while I wouldn't say I pull 80+ hour weeks (at least not these days), it is, you know, nearly midnight on MLK Monday and I've been sitting at this laptop for the past six hours, talking with my photo editor, emailing clients, formatting website pages, and answering Formspring questions. No bonbons. No slave under the table rubbing my feet (though there is one who keeps IMing me despite my Do Not Disturb message. Not the same, I assure you.)
They say when you love what you do, it's not work. There's a lot about what I do that I love, and I don't just mean putting a man in bondage or throwing my whips. I actually like answering (smart, thought-provoking) questions here. And figuring out WordPress. And orchestrating special sessions for my special play partners. I even love cleaning the bathroom in Salon d'Orleans because enjoy the flush of pride from a job well done.
Finding the joy in my work is partly how I recharge my batteries. I've also realized how valuable it is to focus more on the joyful things, like sessions, and less on the energy sucking things like Max Fisch. Outside of work, I've found that traveling alone or spending time with old, dear friends who know and care for me deeply -- as I did this past New Years in New Orleans and also last summer in France -- is tremendously restorative. On a quick fix basis, I'll go to the movies (alone) and get a massage. Spend the afternoon reading and eating popcorn. Sometimes doing something nice for someone I care about, like cooking dinner or surprising with a gift, can be a refreshing boost. I find the more that's being given to me -- energetically, materially, substantively -- the more I have to give back. It's the reciprocal energy loop all over again. -
See the previous response.
Though I guess this does mean there's more of an interest in the descriptive posts than the thoughtful ones. Huh. -
Interesting that your "blog prompt" is for me to describe a scene that may not have actually happened (at least not exactly as you've described it). When I requested a blog prompt, I was hoping someone would suggest a topic that would make me think, ponder, consider, etc.
I dunno. Is that what y'all look for in my blog? Vignettes of scenes? more than things I'm thinking about or feeling? What, exactly, do you want to read? -
Mmmmmmummifcation! mostly. I also like to use it to immobilize the feet and fingers. And as an under layer for head bondage. It also makes a nice over-mouth muffler. It's like an ACE bandage, self sticking and very compressive.
I just got a case of vet wrap. Want to do a full body mummification with vet wrap. That makes me think about body casting. Maybe I'll try to learn how to do that this summer…. hmm. -
I've been kicking ass lately finishing up my website. Seriously. It's gonna be done for reals in about two weeks I think. So my brain is all there right now. Sorry.
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Very little experience with PAs, especially in play. Most of my play partners don't have the luxury of that choice, though quite a few wish they did, mostly for the purposes of chastity training. On the rare occasions I've gotten to work with a PA-ed partner, the ring provided a novel bondage point, but I can't think of much else that I did with it. (Though, I'm not thinking all that hard, to be honest.)
It's been a while since you asked … did you get it? -
Yes, I love temporary or "play" piercing. I'm not so sure what you mean by "methods" … you push the needle through the skin, y'know? I'm not terribly interested in the decorative piercing -- 100s of needles artfully arranged in wings or other patterns. Rather, I like to explore it as a sensation: inserting several needles in rapid succession; combining it with other kinds of pain/stimuli in a sort of symphony; intensifying the piercing with electricity or blood flow constriction; or just capricious sadism of adding alcohol or other astringent substance to the open cuts. Occasionally I'll use needles as a form of bondage … which reminds me it's been a while since I pierced someone's lips together.
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I've met a handful of both. Intellectually, I tend to lean towards the pure masochist who seeks pain as a physical gateway to catharsis, perhaps because that's the kind of pain I most personally identify with. In practice though, I find most of my play partners are primarily interested in receiving pain as something they're doing "for me," even though I think of it more as something I'm guiding them through for them. There's something about pain that forces you to be present in that moment. There's no thinking about bills, or marriage troubles, or TPS reports. Your brain is simply screaming, "Your. Balls. Are. On. Fire!!" and I think there's something paradoxically meditative/relaxing/freeing about that.
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Not really much for NY resolutions. Mostly I'm just always trying to maintain the integrity of my practice, continue to challenge myself to be a better Top, and always enjoy the work(play).
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I'm long overdue for a post. Why don't you inspire me to write about something?
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Troy Orleans’s Bio
Dominant woman, professional, based in Manhattan
