There is no details I can skimp on with this question. It's easy.
MIDDLE EARTH. If we're talking specifics.. start off with Rivendell. Then explore!

Right now.. my motherfuckin' llama hat!

I wanted to be a tiger. Legit answer.
And it's kind of changed as I now realise I cannot turn into an animal..

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Headliners.. um.. Dethklok, Watain and Lil' Jon ;D

Easy. Andrew Byrne.
But I'd "accidentally" throw him into a few walls first.

Try asking when you have a face and aren't a grey blob. Then we'll dress stupid, get mad drunk and create havoc.

Wow.. how challenging this is ¬_¬ Spam.

Everything got deleted a few weeks ago so I assume they were mixed in amongst all the pointless annoying questions I was hellbent on being rid off D:

Flouuuuuunder.

D'ohhh I wuv oooo too lion cub giver!

Um.. thank you? However no, those aren't things I'm aware of at all. I view myself differently from what most people see.

Hmmmmmmm. I THINK.. this answer would have to be, Gyarados :') <3

First off, any status that seems "cryptic" isn't always directed at someone, it can just be a moodswing, which it frequently is in my case.
Second, I'd rather not the entirety of my friends list knowing my business, if there is such a status, the people I care about and are close to, either know exactly what it's in reference to and understand, or have a very good idea and enquire.
If anyone wonders who my status' may be directed at, ask for a damn name. I'll give it if there is one.
And thirdly, you tell me to name and shame people that may well be none of your concern, yet you can't even show your face to have made this irritating comment.
Man the fuck up yourself.

I seen the word top hat.. so I am on board.

I say now.. I take no responsibility for eager viewers who invade the stage and make their.. own use of the cane.. >_>
<3

*prods arm* pretty sure I'm flesh, muscle and bone, mate.

Most certainly!
I feel that'll make for a most entertaining show indeed.
And it'll bring in some business from those weirdos who get off on seeing a man beaten with a cane by a chick :D

As awesome as a bacon delivery service drawn by unicorns.

On the fuzzy belleh? Sure.

I do agree, better advertising is needed to stop this confusion.
I'll beat you with my pimp cane or something. SEND A MESSAGE TO ALL.