Ask me some thingies
HAD ONLY I THE KNOWLEDGE OF WHO THIS IS.
BUT IT'S OKAY. THIS BRIGHTENED MY DAY.
I was sitting on a really comfy home office chair in Office Depot waiting for my mom to finish printing stuff for her job when I received the email notifying me I had an anonymous question.
Whenever I get anonymous questions, I always assume they're negative... despite how maybe, for every fifty anonymous questions, one or two of them are negative for me. But when I saw this instead, I smiled. I appreciate the straightforwardness of this. No trying to make it sound nicer than what it is or anything.
I found this song a few months ago, but it and their other 'popular' single can only be found in compilation albums since they've become somewhat lost(?). I'm not entirely certain what happened to the group, but I do wish I could find more music by them. Maybe I'll go on a search for more by them/their members later today?
I look forward to owning the compilation albums in the near future though.
The last time I spent money on what seems to count on an arcade game was at a bowling alley, and I played Dance Dance Revolution.
Playing DDR is weird for me, since it comes pretty natural to me but it can totally fascinate others to watch me play it. And because of that, I hardly ever play, since it draws more attention on me than I wish to create.
But, I got to play, and it was glorious.
Even though I'm really not that great at it, it's sooo much more fun to play with the handrail in the back. If I ever have such money to waste, I will buy a DDR arcade machine.
Being myself here. I lack the ability to express myself without being misunderstood, shot down, or shunned for whatever I say.
My mom doesn't get my sense of humor.
My mom's personality, ideas of morality, opinions, and pretty much everything clash with all of my everything.
My mom is a liar, but refuses to admit such, and takes it as an extreme insult when I say she is, as if I'm calling her a dumbass, or something. I'm not trying to hurt her by saying she's a liar; I'm pointing out she isn't truthful, and she plays victim whenever I pretty much make an observation of something that's negative.
Something I think that makes it REALLY hard, is that nobody knows this stuff, really.
I've talked about it-- to both people on here and in person, and I think I've proven that it happens, "it" being the completely conflicting personalities going head-to-head, but nobody has ever seen it, and it makes me so upset how nobody really "gets" it.
Whenever my mom is around anyone who ISN'T me, she puts on this facade of yay-we're-a-happy-family-and-we-love-each-other that EVERYONE believes. I fucking hate it so much. It's convinced my friends, distant family, and ALL of my past and present psychologists/therapists to believe I'm just unusually troubled, or really insecure, or it's all reactionary trauma after my dad, or I'm just a bad child to my poor mother, or I'm a hormonal teenager at "that stage of my life." Or all of the above, or some combination of it all, but whatever it is, it's NEVER my mom's fault. She puts on this facade to save herself, but also leave me so fucking helpless, that even when we go to medical facilities to seek help, we can't, because she doesn't want to admit to how fucking vile she can be, and she doesn't even care. It's not like I haven't pointed it out, or asked her after therapy sessions to tell the whole story next time so we can move forward, but noooo. She can't do that, it'd make her look bad to the neighbors, or whatever. She's willing to withhold the information that is necessary for the therapists/psychologists to get the full story and for me to get a proper diagnosis in a lot of cases.
I've pretty much given up on therapy, and psychologists and all that. I'm counting on moving out at this point, which is going to take forever to come, for fact I hope for that by the time I'm eighteen/nineteen and I'll just be turning sixteen next month.
Okay. Mini catharsis of the night #2.
At this point in my life and for as long as I can remember, yes.
And I mean that in a sense that I am constantly doing stuff that's destroying me. It's not that I have greater potential to be that way more than not. I think it's all the time, and the only proof required is the history of my past few months.
To sum it up simplistically, I've wrecked my social life on multiple levels and made certain it stayed that way. It would most-likely be the exact same way it was maybe a week ago if it wasn't for David intervening around then.
I've lost a lot of my drive and motivation to do mostly everything. I haven't lost inspiration, but I simply can't bring myself to do much of anything at all, and when I do something, I'm not proud of it for longer than a day.
I've developed an attitude of "it won't be worth it" and "I shouldn't risk it" and "I'm not good enough" and "just do it tomorrow" and things of the like. I've put such a negativity on all the stuff I'm surrounded by and it sucks. It's made me extremely lazy and bashful, and bashful towards mostly myself.
I'm getting all alone all over again, meaning I'm really reverting back to old ways of not-going-outside-ever and don't-go-to-that-thing-it-won't-be-worth-it. Which is bad.
With all this said, I'm putting in more effort than I have in a long time to change things for myself. Since maybe a week or two ago, I've put into action an honest mindset, meaning I'm going to speak my mind and tell the truth without any more slants.
I've realized that, with being such a gentle person and somehow tolerating the shit of others, I've dropped my standards completely for people and the quality of the folks around me has majorly declined. I've put up with too much stupid and too much vapid in being this way, so I've decided that I refuse to take it anymore. I think I've been doing a pretty good job of it too. It might not show online (((it's hit me that my online self could come off really misleading as to what I'm like in person and in multiple ways))) but I've taken on this whole new route of honesty, since being so gentle to people I don't even like has only strengthened my relations with horrible people.
Apologies for this mini catharsis of sorts, to whomever I'm addressing.
I'd like to think I could figuratively consider most people "dancing potatoes." Just dumb, unworldly folks skimming through life. They all make a lot of noise and move about in quirky ways, but realistically are all pretty much the same boring thing, despite how they all think otherwise.
Unless, of course, we dice them up and turn them into delicious french fries or mix them into pot roast with homemade seasoning. Mmm.
With that said, it depends which dancing potato was to ask me. Some potatoes stand out more than others in my eyes.
Yes. We're all just food.
Not to me, and maybe not to most people, but I like acknowledging that the perspective of humans is not the only existing perspective.
And then there are loads of people-eating people. Not intentionally paraphrasing that one line from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory bcus so witty, it's called cannibalism, but is generally frowned upon.
If an actual dancing potato asked me to prom, I'd assume psychosis had finally gotten to me, That'd probably result in a confused "no" from me to the potato.
Thank you Sophie! I set it up completely, and in under five minutes. To be honest, it's one of the laziest pictures I've ever taken of myself, excluding when I just hold the camera to my face, since those are never taken with the intention of being used for much of anything beyond a low form of entertainment for when I'm bored.
To begin with, the photo was cropped a reasonable sum, mainly because there is distracting stuff on each side, and because my tripod was a stack of books and flat-surfaced junk I found lying around in the living room, so I had to work with that. Had I a tripod at the time, I would've angled it so my full body could be seen, not just cut off at about my knees. It really required cropping though-- if it hadn't been cropped, it would look like absolutely nothing special at all, since there was about five feet of space over my head, and just distracting things like that.
Before I made the photo black and white, I had to play around with the RGB, brightness and saturation because the coloring on it looked pretty foul in its original state. I tried to adjusted it so my skin wouldn't be completely flawless-looking since I think it looks a bit too unrealistic and I think skin texture can give a better sense of humanness and relatability to photos and stuff, but it was hard to do without messing up some shadow, or making my hair unnaturally crispy and dry-looking, so I settled with how it is. In reality, my skin is not that flawless and single-toned. I have acnes and grossy skin. If you zoomed in on it close enough, you could kinda tell that as well.
this was one of about twenty photos of it's kind, since I took the picture on a continuous timer mode. Even though the original quality looked pretty bad, I liked this one, and decided to try editing it, which I did, and quite a bit more than most, but I like it. I think the shadows/grey slanted lines in the back add to the photo, even though I have no idea what those are, quite frankly. I think it was the shadows of some vertical white blinds ( http://goo.gl/eICOh ) since I had a bright light I used for the relatively dark room I took it in.
So, in short, that photo was done very sloppily and would've been absolutely nothing without editing! But I'm glad it looks alright to the point you love it! I'm considering editing it even further by removing the grey slanty lines so it looks like a plain white wall. I think the grey lines are distracting, especially the way the shadows of them thicken as it gets to the bottom left corner.
I apologize for all the random rambling! I didn't know what parts to include or not include, so I just kinda told you the most of it. This is possibility the first photo I've ever taken of myself using a homemade tripod that I've worked with and spent more time on to edit than a photo taken with a tripod.
Thank you for the inbox, Sophie! Hope all is well with you!
I try not to be (too horribly) strict whenever I hold some sort of leading position in things (school projects, when I'm directoring for M.A. films, etc.) because I don't want to have to rely on being strict to make my point clear, or get done what needs to get done.
I think the concept of authority is a bit of a joke, for fact I have no real control over anyone, nor does anyone have any real control over me. It's a matter of accepting consequences, and whenever one can do that, those who hold a position of greater authority than you become totally powerless.
With that said, I think being so strict can be pretty stupid and potentially make one look as though s/he's full of it, since it can take on a bold, rigid mindset, and I just simply don't have that when it comes to being strict.
There are those parents (((LIKE MY MOM))) who will set rules that the child(ren) are expected to follow, but when they don't, there comes the "I wouldn't do that if I were you" 's and "I'm warning you" 's, and then threats that are to never be acted on, and all of a sudden, the parent is powerless, to the point the child(ren) are in control.
Because that can happen and I don't want to be such an authoritative figure like that, I refuse to be that way. It seems mostly foolish and unenjoyable, especially with my experience of being a "film director" at school. It's impossible to get people who don't give a shit about the work that needs to be done to do that work, and I hate working in group projects because of that. I work a lot better alone, and if (nice) filmmaking could be a one human thing, I'd do that all the time. But it sadly isn't, and if I plan to keep up on filmwork stuff, I hope to find people who think more like me, and would like to get stuff done the way I'd like to, and agreements can be made, and stuff can get done.
With all of that said, I never want to be a strict parent.
If a parent at all. If anything, I think I'd be adopting, but even then, that isn't set in stone at all. Pretty certain I'm practicing my cuneiform with the goal of not having any childs, but, I don't know. Life is pretty nuts, dude. I CAN RAISE A PEOPLE. That's so weird to think about.
No, but, really, if I ever have a kid, I want to be friends with my kid before anything else, and teach my kid to blossom and think for his or herself all that cool shit.
When I think about it, I think I'd make a great parent, since I totally have gotten down what /not/ to do, and I've watched enough Cosby Show to know what I should do.
So, no, I'd like to think I won't be one. Given I even have a/a few kids, I'll always have my personal experiences to reflect on, and remember what kind of parenting I think sucks ((MOST PARENTING)).
I've been thinking about this for a while-- I wonder if I'd homeschool a child or not.
Though school is morbid, it can teach valuable lessons that homeschooling would probably not teach otherwise-- exposure to dumb, bad, wrong people and various cultures, the greater potential to establish long-lasting friendships, a social sense, and general exposure to people of my hypothetical child's own age.
However, I grew up without exposure to a lot of things, and I honestly believe that's why I stick out from my peers so much. Not to say I would like my kid to be exactly like me, but I'd prefer my child being more like me than most of the people I know.
There's also the great possibility my child could rebel against all that I would like for him/her, which mainly consists of having him/her end up being a good person who does good deeds for the world. But what if my kid doesn't want to be special like that? What if my kid doesn't want to stand out, and just wants to raise a family and live a happy life without the acknowledgement of the flaws in the world? Me trying to construct a person and clinging so tightly to my own ideas hypocrites everything I said-- if I actually want that when my kid doesn't, I WILL be controlling, authoritative, and strict.
It's hard to really think about how to raise a person, but I'd like to think I'd be less suck at it than most people, and not so strict, and not hold so many expectations, especially ones that are cultivated off my desires rather than the reality that would be what my child's life would hold the greater potential to amount to.
still not rereading these things. Sorry again, world.
Hmmmm..... somewhat, but I'd reword it. If I was told this as someone else who dresses abnormally, I would probably be an outraged someone, and rightfully so. However, I kinda see where this is going.
I've been told I dress oddly/abnormally, and I get silent as well as outspoken reactions about it. I just talked about this, but... oh well.
I don't think "expect" is the right word, but I do acknowledge the fact I make myself much more prone to public ridicule than others. And with that, it'd be helpful for one to acknowledge the fact that it is much more likely to happen, and it's a matter of being above letting it get to him/her. I believe I'm someone who knows that.
It isn't that someone shouldn't be allowed to complain. That makes no sense- I complain all the time, and though complain holds a negative, naggy sort of connotation, complaining doesn't have to be immature garbage spoken by an oversensitive, whiny fool, nor does it have to be senseless and useless for the sake of progression.
Being sad about it-- I'm sad about it...
How does one not be allowed to feel an emotion? What the fuck? Not allowed to be sad? How is that even possible? Is not complying punishable by law?
Okay, forget it. This statement is pretty flawed. I'm not going to defend whoever wrote it.
This, this idea, is condoning narrow-minded thinking patterns by saying, "yeah, people will do that, mock you and whatnot for being the oddball out, but hey, you're the non-conformist shithead. You should've seen it coming, and you should just shut up and deal with it."
That's the wrong way of approaching this. I think people should be free to complain all the hell they want. I can only hope the complaints are logical, but realistically, complaining is fine. I don't think it's something to not complain about-- I think it is a problem, the lack of acceptance towards non-conformity in appearance.
In a society ((for all u 'merican folk @ least)) where freedom is advocated so much but is not exercised because of the society's fear of judgement, we should be ashamed of our hypocrisy. I know that's a loaded statement and holes can be poked in it, but from all that I understand, a lot of people stand for American values, which usually revolve around freedom. I think when we mock people for harmlessly exercising their freedoms, we're doing a bad thing for freedom itself. Yeah, it's pretty human to be judgmental about the way people dress, but from what I see, a lot of it is unnecessary and holds to no truth, and when we base our thought process off of that way of going through life, living that way in unrighteous ignorance with it being condoned by most, it's a problem.
It's a problem because a lot of innocent folks who only wish to express themselves feel attacked for doing what they like. Yes, it's a matter of those folks being able to overcome that logically, but there is definitely a problem in the lack of acceptance for those folks; it's poor in fair logic and propels really pointless, ill-mannered dichotomy in a world that already has plenty of that.
Yes, those who wear the abnormal wears should realize they hold greater potential to be falsely/harshly judged, but it's like blaming a rape victim for being raped. It perpetuates something ((generally seen as)) immoral without getting deep enough to the root of the problem. The blame shouldn't be shifted to the victim because they're weaker, or act victim-y, or whatever. That's what this seems like, more than anything.
This response is more of me bouncing from thought to thought, and just kinda kept developing as I went on. I can imagine this has some flaws in it because of that, but I'd rather post it than not.
I could do ((and have done)) photography portraits myself, so I would like to have a painted portrait of myself. That'd hold more personal value too.
This has me now thinking- is there such a thing as ((good)) MS paint portraits? As in, is there such a service, where I can have someone create a portrait of me on MS paint in exchange for money? Hmm.
I THINK I KNOW THIS PERSON. HE LOOKS CRAZY FAMILIAR.
I like when guys have that sort of face that looks like it will always make the dude look like he's 13 years old.
I find myself more drawn to feminine-looking dudes.
Especially the ones with boobs.
not actually into that
Something about that feeble charm though, that muscle-lacking, totally weak and defenseless-looking kind of appearance. I dig that. I'm into dudes who look like they're young stereotypical lesbians.
I wouldn't say this person is "hot" since that word feels improper to use in this context, but rather something like, attractive. Physically-appealing. Cute? No, baby seals and baby rhinos are cute. I like thinking individual features are cute, like smiles and eyes and that stuff. But the whole person, it makes the person seem small in my mind when referring to him/her as cute.
I guess attractive works.
or for sake of answering the question,
Microsoft Windows (Windows 7).
Was gonna answer this with some half-serious-half-sarcastic-not-really-cleverly-worded remark about how I am, but I think it could potentially just make me look 10x worse than I have yet properly conceived, so... I won't.
Instead, here's my understanding (or my potentially lack thereof) of the general populace's perception of me, and how "cool" that is, or isn't, or whatever it may be.
Obviously, different people have different visions of this "cool" thing.
A lot of people ((dominantly of the female nature)) think Tumblr-y stuff is cool, which means white people (☑), usually girls (☑☑), who are visually authentic (somewhat ☑☑☑?) by means of hair, clothing, tattoos, piercings, or whatever.
I hold great potential to fit under that category, aside from the fact I wish what I do in the realm of appearance didn't have to draw such attention. I just like some stuff a lot, and it happens to not always be stuff that is common. And because I'm not ashamed of what I like nor am I so afraid of what the rest of the population may think of me because I've rationalized with myself how truly insignificant the opinions of at least 95% others on such trivial things really are to me.
So, the whatcouldbenotedas individualness in my appearance could be/has been seen as this "cool" to others, even though it really isn't cool at all, since it's just me doing what I want. Other people could do it too, and probably would if they didn't hold irrational fears of what would happen to their image or the perception of the general public towards them. But people won't, and will continue to fit into the socially correct mold because of some insignificant, yet seemingly super important judgement they hold greater potential to receive.
I say fuck that, and let's start being more of what we want to be, and if we must, let's start with appearance. Think outside the narrow-minded box your society shoves your concept of people into and be appreciative of physical diversity. I think clothing, hair, body modifications and stuff of that nature is a glorious form of self-expression and should be celebrated more than mocked. On sooo many occasions my mom has driven past people with like, brightly-colored hair, or innovative fashion, and been like, "oooohhh, look at that freak," or something along those lines, and I really hate that. The immediate disapproval and negativity directed at any/everything that stretches outside the tiny realm of things that are approved by these people who act as if they dictate reality and what is/isn't okay to be or not to be such as my mom is extremely narrow and beyond ridiculous. The shortness of it is stupid and frustrating, especially since I know that if I wasn't her kid, my mom would see me as the same kind of "freak" that she tells me I should avoid, and for the expansive, super-cultured part of the world I live in, I look pretty normal by comparison.
Something I super hate is how my generation advocates individuality quite a bit to the point where a lot act as though they cherish it ((they don't-- they cherish Tumblr trends)), but is honestly not that much greater than my mom when it comes to narrow-mindedness. I feel confident in the way I adorn myself, but from the moment I exit the car to walk into my school, meaning before I even pass over the threshold into the school perimeter, I can feel the negativity everyone has towards me there. I meet a lot of eyes at school and /know/ people make dumb remarks about whatever I happen to wear. I don't think much of it myself, but I totally am aware of it, and I just think it's stupid. Yeah okay, the way I've been styling my hair as of recent can signal a bad case of rabies and I probably don't look entirely clean all the time, but holy crap, people are so dumb.
Did it again.
I could be seen as cool.
I could also be seen as a hateable try-hard who thinks she's edgy, different, and therefore too cool to hang out with anyone else there.
The thing that sets me apart from the other people who dress somewhat like me is that they all have a lot of stuff in common and all think the same way, so I am considerably different, but not in a way I really am out to make a point of because it makes me c00l. It makes mE FRIENDLESS. So it sets me apart from the other people who I *look* like I would fit in with, but to the public eye, it probably makes me look like an uber douche.
I'm also just not the most attractive of people, so a general first impression of me can be disapproval altogether just because of that.
The quiet, even-more-unsociable-than-me crowd thinks I'm cool, usually because people of that nature tend to be less as harsh in judgement, and quieter people are usually easier for me to express myself around, naturally. Unfortunately, a lot of those people aren't always that great, so I don't like thinking much of their opinions.
The people who think they're "random" and make a big point about it by noting it after everything they say tend to like me as well, but I rarely feel the same way about them, which somewhat invalidates their opinion completely in my mind.
Pretentious, center-of-attention people tend to use me to look cool themselves because I can play off conversation fairly well, but those people usually suck big ones, and I completely hate feeling more like an accessory than a friend to someone.
Jocky/pop-u-lar pple. SOME OF THEM THINK I'M NEAT, but most of them either keep away from me or target me in some way.
Overall, I think I'm not "cool," definitely not by the general public's standards. I could be like, Tumblr-cool, but I don't find that generally appealing or cool myself. Some people probably see me and think, "oh god a hipster," or something. Or more accurately, "oh god, it's one of those things ((talking about teenager/teenage girl with weird sense of style))," which I think is mostly due to the fact I'm a teenager, and gives the impression that I'm going through experimental phases in clothing and such, and they're just happy I'll stop dressing like an idiot by the time I'm 20, but for now, I'm teenage scum. And I think, generally-speaking, that's reasonably accurate.
Didn't reread this to correct errors. Sorry world.
It just a chocolate bar with air pockets in it. I don't know what ((~CLASSIC~)) Lays have to do with that. I find great fallacies in these mathematics.
I get the feeling I'm just missing the joke or something. My teenager skills suck.
I've tried that chocolate bar though. It's honestly nothing special. I consider it worse than the standard Hershey's bar, which I nearly hate, since I think the chocolate tastes so bad on its own. It is literally a regular Hershey's bar with little air pockets inside. Which means they're selling you less chocolate, and on the premise that it's fancier chocolate because omG LOOK AT THAT PACKAGING, so you're more-so just getting ripped, since I'm pretty certain those aIr DeLiGhTs are more expensive than the regular chocolate bars.
The texture is like, that of a lame Crunch bar, but without the crispy rice things. There's just nothing there, and the chocolate is less melt-in-your-mouth-y, which makes the consumption process undesirable and rather unfortunate. Seriously ruined my day to eat one of those.
Sorry everyone's spirits who just got weakened for the night by this buzzkilly candy-bar -review response.
I don't know.
I've been so busy as of recent, and with the stupidest of things. Every day for the past two-three weeks, I've had less than an hour to just give to myself to relax. Every day after school for however many weeks I've been staying an extra two/two and a half/three hours for film projects, general after school club activities, providing photography services for people, and doing it all with an unfortunate amount of school-and-film stuff being lugged around with me over my shoulders. So, every day, I've been getting home at 6:30-7:00pm, and then taking like half an hour to eat, and then working on whatever bullshit I have to do. DOGFAFSOFHSAFHSIAFHUHFDIAFHISAFHFHFAHJS.
I've never been so busy to the point where I've felt as if every moment of the day I'm doing something, and time doesn't feel as though it's going too slow or fast. That might not make sense at all, but... to explain it best, I'm used to not really putting all of my attention on specific things all throughout the day. I go with the flow of things most school days, working off of whatever goes on. I'm used to not being overly attached to specific thoughts, and just wandering off deep into the cave of my mind, thinking about whatever I happen to be thinking about nonchalantly, and oh hey look, an hour's gone by. And when I do that, I lose track of time, and I can find it hard to recall what I'd have done mere hours ago because I wasn't focused on any stuff.
However, as of recent, *EVERY* moment I've been glued to some activity, some project, some assignment, and I've reached a point where I RAN OUT OF TIME TO DO THINGS. The duties I have have piled on top of each other to the point where I'm working off the minute, jumping from one thing to the next without break.
For example, yesterday, I was asked to come by my school's Media Academy during nutrition today to learn how to operate the steadicam, and I agreed to do that, but ended up having to reschedule that for fact I remembered how for today, I had planned to take some tests during nutrition for French that I missed due to my absence. So I couldn't do the steadicam training because of my French tests. However, I couldn't do my French tests either, because I realized I had planned before that to print out my WHAP Compendium ((which was due today--SOHAPPYIWILLNEVERHAVETOWORRYABOUTITEVERAGAIN)) which I couldn't do earlier because I was busy the day prior, so I planned to do that during nutrition. I ended up doing that during nutrition.
With that, I decided I'd get both the steadicam training and French tests done during lunch, since lunchtime is longer. And I was all okay with this, even though that'd mean running from one side of the school to the other.
OFCOURSETHISGETSMESSEDUPTOO because I had to stay in my English class during lunch to fix things for my film in that class related to the page layout and premise of the film, which consumed all of lunch, and ohmycow I was freaking out at that point.
I had to learn the steadicam during my film class, which ended up being okay, since my project in that class is currently more in the marketing steps.
However, for the French tests, I had to stay after school for thirty-forty minutes to complete them, TIME I HAD PLANNED TO USE FOR FILMING/EDITING/TRANSFERRING FILE INFORMATION FOR ONE OF MY FILM PROJECTS, WHICH HAD TO BE SET BACK FOR AS LONG AS IT TOOK ME TO TAKE THE TESTS, so we had less time to do everything. Because I finished filming at about 4:30 and the Media Academy closed at 4:15 and the only way to edit footage at school on good software for me was to use the media computers, we couldn't do that. We couldn't even return the steadicam I was using so I took that home with me. Because we couldn't edit anything and haven't even started yet, that's set us back quite a bit for the film project due on ~wEdNeSdAy~.
SO YEAH, TO SUM IT UP BRIEFLY, I'VE BEEN DOING SO MUCH, THAT I CAN ACTUALLY TELL YOU WHAT I WAS DOING EACH HOUR OF THE DAY, RIGHT DOWN TO WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT IN SPECIFIC DETAIL. I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS BUSY OR TIRED IN MY LIFE.
I've also been sick for the past few weeks, which hasn't made any of this better.
This is a really complain-y post.
No carole, it's okay. You can do what you want. This is your life.
but the people reading this, can I just apologize to them, just this once, I think it makes sense to apologize now.
My life is okay, though. I'm freaking out about what I'm going to do with my life, there are some mega personal conflict going on, and I'm worried about a lot of things right now, but things are going okay. I'm finding a sense of stability and consistency in motion in my life right now, as in I feel as though all of my doings and stuff is getting me somewhere FINALLY, but I'm still overall horrified, and I don't know how comfortable I am with anything anymore.
I'm losing my temper with a lot of people.
I'm becoming really blunt with people, which I kinda like.
I'm finding out more about myself and growing alright with who I am, inside and out, innards and guts and all.
I'm regaining a social life. Somewhat.
Musicky stuff is finally kinda being worked out.
I have no love life or love interests in the sort of general way most people perceive that sort of stuff, and I am so okay with that, it's not even funny. It's hilarious.
OH, HOLY SHIT, I'M GONNA SEE THE FLAMING LIPS THIS SUMMER. THING TO LOOK EXTREMELY FORWARD TO YAAAY
I have mixed hopes of my future. Well, I suppose my hopes are high, but so are my doubts. I'm definitely gonna work towards making the best of what life violently throws at me though, despite the likelihood and lack thereof to sculpt my life the way I'd most like to. Not like I know what that is yet anyway, which I guess is kind of part of the fun of it.
I apologize to all of Formspring for not being on as much recently. I've just been so busy, it's been miserable and sad. I've not had the energy to do much of anything on the internet, much less on Formspring. I'm not making any promises, but I do hope to be on more soon, especially since school's almost out.
Dudn't prüf reed thes anwser @ all. I apologise in ad-vans for tath.
There are questions in my inbox related to heavy, sophisticated topics that I could contribute to by providing my own input.
I'm gonna answer this question instead, since it's relevant.
I don't consider this person my best friend, but this person is relevant to my day-to-day life enough that it works.
Friend of mine has a girlfriend. She's a kind person. Once, she invited me to lunch and it was great. She's funny, thoughtful, and insightful.
However, my friend is kind of an idiot.
I'm perfectly fine with her girlfriend. It's my friend who's at fault in this.
This entire response is actually going to be quite irrelevant to the question.
My school populace was pretty big on the "Day of Silence" thing.
To any who may not know what that is, it's pretty much a day where you don't speak/communicate to show respect for the LGBT who are "silenced" by the masses due to bullying and whatnot because of their being gay, or being lesbian, or transgendered, or whatever.
The most positive and rational way for me to see it is as a day for humble respect for the minority, not boisterous activism.
To me, the right way to go about the Day of Silence thing is to not communicate, period. That means no talking, but also no hand-gesturing or I'm-gonna-bring-around-a-white-board-and-marker-for-the-day-ing. I think people take the "silence' part too literally, and it just ends up looking kinda dumb.
I don't participate in it. Instead, I rant about the stupid people who have no opinions on anything EXCEPT for gay marriage and really basic ideas of human morality related to LGBT minorities that are complete no-brainers. Like, okay, you support gay marriage, great. Your sexism is looking mighty fine today, though.
Day of Silence is mostly annoying to me, for fact it is, at my school, a bunch of stupid people putting duct tape over their mouth, thinking they're suddenly these towering forces of social justice and in partaking in DOS, they're heroes.
That isn't EVERYONE of course, but for the most part, Day of Silence is annoying and reminds me why I don't like much of anyone.
It's more like Day of Wear-Your-LGBT-Pride-On-Your-Sleeve-To-Look-Like-You-Have-An-Opinion-On-Something for me, since that's all I see. Just stupid people, who are like, "I SUPPORT GAY PPL! BECAUSE I HAVE NO OPINIONS ON ANYTHING ELSE DUE TO THE FACT I KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING, I'LL JUST EXPRESS MY LGBT PRIDE VIVIDLY~~!!! .....BUT LESBIANS R WEIRD!!"
The only opinions ANYONE around my age (and in general, really) seems to express openly and unabashedly are those for gay marriage, abortion, and religion. And hey, look at that, the argument that's generally presented for each isn't even that strong or special. It's unoriginal, uninspired, and was probably thought about for less than a minute, if thought about at all. It's like they read a biased post on Tumblr, copy+pasted it into their mind, and regurgitate it whenever they can, because it makes them look smart.
I rant about that.
My friend's girlfriend participated in Day of Silence, while my friend did not. My friend and I feel mostly the same way about DOS. However, my friend was pretending to participate in DOS because she didn't want to upset her girlfriend.
This got me mad at my friend, since she wasn't being honest to her girlfriend, and was sacrificing the potential for discussion and gained knowledge on the topic for the sake of keeping this person happy.
It shows a sort of, cowardliness in my friend, and of the strain I hate especially. It's holding back thoughts and opinions for fear of what the opposing side may think. Opinions, conversations, discussions, debates, stuff of the sort... it is healthy stuff... when done maturely, of course. And even if it isn't done maturely, it's beautiful when people disagree on matters. Having discussions and debates on matters holds great potential for discovering a higher truth and spreading wisdom. It's progress. It's what keeps our civilization thriving and is why new things happen and stuff changes.
However, not even showing up for the debate by holding back your opinions... that's regression. Or rather, condoning regression. That does nothing to change the state of anything, and I hate the idea of people "regressing to get along," an idea explained awesomely in some video by TJdoeslife on YouTube. That is sadly what my friend was doing, and it's stupid. It gets nothing done and holds the great potential to satisfy the stupid people of the world.
I'm not saying my friend's girlfriend is stupid-- she isn't, and I don't have anything against her for doing the Day of Silence thing. But I do have something against my friend being so afraid of discussion. When people silence themselves to get along with each other, eeeeeeeeeeeeew.
hEY LOOK, I'M A PERSON WITH SOME SORT OF KNOWLEDGE ON THE TOPIC. TIME TO WHIP OUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND SHOW IT OFF FOR THE WORLD TO SEE.
For the first photo, the one with the person holding the Harry Potter book, I like it. I like how her fingernails are colored in accordance to the book's cover, somewhat. In fact, it would've been really nifty if she had a polish color that went a bit more with the purple in the cover, whether she have been wearing the color of it having been adjusted in editing.
What I think throws the picture off a bit is the red sofa-looking thing in the back. I find the color distracting to the subject. If the color of it was different, like, similar in general color but bright enough to look contrasting, it'd put more attention on the subject.
I was gonna say it could also be fixed by taking the photo without the sofa/chair/thing there altogether to completely put the focus on the subject and that it would've been better if the person didn't look as though she was slouching, but I could see that stuff being intentional, since it gives a greater sense of relaxing to the person, and adds to her personna by making her look more absorbed by the book. In that case, maybe the angle was a bit off for it, since the red in the back looks distracting to me.
The second photo is great, with what looks like you with your camera. Though, the screen that pops out of the camera and goes up past your forehead, I don't know how much I like how it looks. It looks kinda silly, but somehow was not the first thing I noticed, which I say is a good thing.
THIS MAY BE PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE OF THE CAMERA'S SIZE IN COMPARISON TO THE SIZE OF YOUR HEAD, but I wish the camera covered that part of your eye on the right. Or, if it was possible, you could have the camera placed so the lens covers one eye entirely with the lens placed exactly over where that eye would go. I don't know if that'd look weird or not though, with the camera being a camera, and stuff. I do like the photo nonetheless!
The third one, I like it. The end.
The fourth one with the brass instrument 4 face, I like that one a lot, but there are minor little things I think could've been touched up on, that stuff being the bruise on his right arm, the tie being unfixed, and his shirt being what looks kinda like.. improperly tucked in? Other than that stuff though, I really like the photo. The color in the background works nicely to kinda, amplify the instrument's color.
What I would maaaaybe consider in editing would be to adjust the reflection of the stuff, whatever the stuff is, that you can see in the instrument. I don't know what I'd do with it, nor do I really acknowledge it as a flaw, but it'd be something to play around with.
I like this photography concept, and especially like how you used it! I think you've succeeded in bringing forth the identities of the people in the photos without using their faces.
I don't know if you just wanted to know that and not bother knowing what those plans actually are, or you would like to know more about them, but for sake of latter's potential, I'll say some of my summer plans.
I also don't know if these are cool plans or not. They're all pretty cool to me, maybe even what one may consider "hip", but I think you can judge coolness better than me, so, SOPHIE, I'M MAKING YOU THE JUDGE OF COOLNESS.
I plan on beginning driving courses, getting a job (((MY FIRST OFFICIAL ONE))), starting a band, selling stuff on Etsy, going to my first 4real concert, possibly posting "looks" on LookBook, furthering my understanding of photography, writing music, dying my hair, and some other things that I've completely forgotten about.
I doubt I'll do all (or any) of this stuff to the degree I'd like since I can get uninspired and lose motivation pretty quickly, but heeeeey, at least I have stuff I want to do! That's a start!
No, I haven't heard from him. At all. Still awaiting return of the prophet Marcus. More-so hoping for his wellness.